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Because you can’t think of a good enough excuse not to.
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I’ll start and you guess.
1- I am the danger.
2- Valar Morghulis.
3- We were on a break.
4. – I like my money right where I can see it… hanging in my closet
5. – Let’s be careful out there.
6. – Buy land, cause God ain’t making any more of it.
Your turn.
Guess… then give me one of your own.
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Because you’re never too old for games.
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After the past two years of crazed pandemic shopping and empty store shelves? There’s only one answer for me…
Toilet paper!
Lock your doors and windows….
I’m coming for your Charmin.
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So what are you stealing?
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It will be fun.
I promise.
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The minute I saw him, I knew.
It had to be Jovan Musk for men.
Blech! I can still smell it.
So how about it?
What cologne do you think Mr. Stud Muffin is wearing….
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Admit it. You have nothing better to do right now…
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Seeing that our yard/property is covered in flowers instead of vegetables and the pear tree, apple trees, and blueberry bushes aren’t ready to harvest yet ….
I’m going to have to go with woodchuck.
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Kidding!
( But with all the fruit I feed them, they’d probably be sweet. )
So what’s on your dinner table tonight?
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Because I have written proof some of you love these.
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I could say he left the top off the toothpaste or the toilet seat up, but that seems like an extreme reaction for such a small infraction.
Think I’ll go with one that’s bound to get him tossed to the curb, never mind his clothes ….
“He told me this dress does make my butt look big.”
So what do you think he did?
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Because we can all use a little levity.
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Living in the country probably gives me the advantage here, but you never know… some of you have backyard alligators and I can’t top that.
My list of chasers;
A chicken. Don’t laugh, they’re quick and vengeful little buggers.
A billy goat. I barely escaped with my posterior intact… although now that I think of it, a little less of that wouldn’t be a bad thing.
A skunk. Thankfully they don’t have very good eyesight … I lost him behind a shrub.
A mockingbird. Never underestimate the ferocity of this bird. He used to dive bomb our poor cat on a daily basis.
A snapping turtle. Granted I didn’t have to run very fast with this one, but those jaws can snap your finger like a twig.
A bat. Was he actually chasing me? I don’t know, but he was trapped in our house and I didn’t take the time to find out.
And finally, an elk who chased me around our car. I was photographing a herd in the Smoky Mountain National Park from a far off, safe distance when a lone female came up from behind and let her displeasure be known.
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I don’t recommend that experience.
😳
So how about it? Who’s been chasing you….
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Because it appears I’m never going to run out of these.
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Here are mine:
Literally.
People say literally when they mean figuratively and it drives me nuts. “ It’s so hot I am literally on fire.” Unless I see flames shooting out of a body cavity? You meant figuratively.
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I could care less.
Could you? Then that means you cared in the first place. The proper phrasing is ‘I couldn’t care less’, please use it.
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Must not have been very important.
This one dates back to my childhood. Whenever I would forget something I wanted to tell my mother she would smugly utter those words and I always wanted to scream, “Now I remember! The kitchen is on fire.”
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So how about you? What words or phrases drive you nuts….
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Because deep down you want to.
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First, a few obvious ones –
You’re gonna need a bigger boat.
Leave the gun, take the cannoli.
You had me at hello.
Here’s looking at you kid.
Jaws, The Godfather, Jerry Maguire and Casablanca respectively.
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Everyone knows those, but can you guess these?
Put some Windex on it.
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Are you not entertained?
Take a guess and then comment one of your own.
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I’ll go first..
Slept in my Pink Floyd T-shirt and woke up Comfortably Numb.
*It’s happened, I can’t lie.*
Slept in my Neil Young T-shirt and woke up on Sugar Mountain.
*I once slept alongside a box of Dunkin Donuts, so that’s close enough.*
Slept in my Rolling Stones T-shirt and woke up with my 19th Nervous Breakdown.
*Not yet, but there’s still time.*
Slept in my Grateful Dead T-shirt and woke up with Uncle John’s Band.
*No comment!*
( Extra points if you actually own the T-shirts as I do. )
So what did you wake up with?
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Stop groaning, just do it.
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I should have known nothing good would come from eating healthy! The 10th picture in my gallery is a screen shot of a popsicle alternative recipe.
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I haven’t tried it yet, and now I’m not sure I should.
So…. what’s going to do you in?
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River's world..... 