Tag Archives: spam

Uncategorized

Let’s play.

67 Comments

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This week’s question is in honor of a certain Spam obsessed blogger who shall remain nameless.

Oh, who am I kidding?

It’s Mark, he’s crazy for the stuff.

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As far as I’m concerned Spam is a four letter word. A more disgusting gelatinous meat wanna be you’re not apt to find.

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Blech.

🤢

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Fresh off the assembly line in 1937.

I’ve heard rumors they’ll be making a second batch any day now.

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Health food it’s not.

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My late MIL was the queen of spam. Spam loaf, spam spaghetti, spam and beans… hell, she even made spam pie.

I’ve never been able to stomach the canned abomination and don’t understand why anyone would voluntarily consume it.

So my question is… yay or nay?

Where do you stand on Spam.

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Uncategorized

Enough already.

26 Comments

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I don’t give my cell phone number to anyone but friends because I refuse to have it flooded with spam. We still have a landline, so I give that number to businesses who require it.

But when my husband ordered the new composite decking for the porch from Lowes and they wanted a phone number? He gave them mine… and for that I will never forgive him.

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He thought it was great my phone kept alerting with texts.

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I did not.

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Did I mention he gave them my iPhone email address too?

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Three messages saying it was great to see us pick up our order.

Three… so far.

I hit stop. And unsubscribe.

I fear drones will be dropping fliers and airplanes will be circling overhead with banner scrolls shortly.

🥴

Uncategorized

Who knew?

23 Comments

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Every once in a while I check my email and get a surprise.

Not the good…hear from an old friend, winning lottery ticket… kind of surprise, no.

But something surprising all the same.

Who sent it? I neither know, nor care to find out.

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This guy performed an African elongation ritual and got ridiculous results.

Him and his hot wife went to Kenya a couple of years ago only to discover that native plants gave every local humongous penises.

The Maasai tribe, renowned in the scientific community for their unique 16 inches dongs and their well protected elongation method, gave this dude an extra 3 inches in the first few weeks after.
No wonder Porn stars are being put to shame.

Impressed by the results, he became friends with a few of the elders of the tribe and managed to learn their secrets while performing the ritual a couple extra times, with the same incredible results.

He stopped at 9,2 inches.

Just be responsible with this delicate info.

This ritual has created some monsters since it has been reproduced – around 112,000 to be more precise.

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After reading it, laughing about it and deciding to post it… I searched Google images for an appropriate photo of the aforementioned Maasai tribes people to accompany my blog.

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Does the email content explain why this person is happily jumping for joy?

You be the judge.

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Uncategorized

Miscellaneous nonsense and a few things for Mark…

48 Comments

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I have absolutely no idea what this is.

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Nope. That’s a 10 on my creepy doll scale.

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A pink flamingo Christmas tree for Mark. The ultimate in flocking.

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This sounds entirely too easy. Has anyone ever tried it?

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Another Spam abomination for my taste bud addled blog friend.

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Porktastic? I beg to differ.

Meanwhile back at the ranch..

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The good news? Lord Dudley Mountcatten has not knocked down the tree.

The bad news? My husband broke the we don’t need any more stuff so let’s not exchange gifts paradigm we’ve been clinging to for the past 6 years and put something big under the tree. Since my beloved has two gift giving modes… expensive jewelry I rarely like and wish he wouldn’t buy or appliances I neither want nor need… I’m going to guess the latter.

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I’ve been married 38 years and no matter how many times I tell my husband appliances are not a welcome Christmas gift, to date I’ve received an upright freezer, a toaster, a washer and dryer, a blender, a convection oven and oh yes, let’s not forget that ever so thoughtful dehumidifier.

I have yet to receive a vacuum, but there’s always next year.

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Uncategorized

Products you don’t need, except for Mark.

37 Comments

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I have a shelf full of cookbooks I never use. Some are low calorie, some are comfort food, some are Italian, some are French. None of them however, are from Sing Sing.

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With all due respect to Goose, I think I’ll pass.

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Do I need to play Bingo with various shaped feces?

I do not. Nope. Not ever.

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If someone gave me this? I would probably do just the opposite and lob it at their head.

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Now where was this when I was young? Talk about missed opportunities. Damn.

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And finally, something for Mark, aka Swinged Cat, aka Madtown Migrant, aka Mark My Words…. who, for some unfathomable reason likes to eat this canned abomination. Throw them with abandon my friend. Personally, I’d rather eat the dice.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

18 Comments

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You can’t use it, but it’s news all the same.

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Wait a minute… they’re growing brains in laboratories? Can we please send a few to the nation’s capitol, they seem to have run out.

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Gee, I never saw that coming.

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I can think of a few uses myself. Boat anchor, fire starter, brick mortar, roof sealant… the list is endless.

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Because admit it, you’ve been wondering.

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There. Mystery solved.

You’re welcome.

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Uncategorized

It’s like they’re not even trying.

20 Comments

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While my normal reader numbers have taken a serious nosedive recently, the amount of spam accounts willing to receive my drivel filled missives expands exponentially. Every day I zap more and more of these annoying non existent bloggers.

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And while I give them an A for persistence, ( I zap two? Three come back. ) their lack of original site names is quite pathetic.

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If you’re going to clutter my follower list, at least put a little effort in to it. Geesh.

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Uncategorized

Make up your mind.

30 Comments

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It’s been a while since I checked my spam folder and man, was it ever full. It never ceases to amaze me why people waste their time leaving these comments. What’s the end game? None of the companies exist and no one pays the least bit of attention, so what do they hope to gain.

Along with an alarmingly large number of extremely crude sexual content filled missives that would have made Hugh Hefner blush, I received this:

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Motorhome Collision Repair Near Me

Spam

Hello there! This post could not be written any better! Going through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept talking about this. I am going to send this post to him. Fairly certain he’ll have a great read. Thanks for sharing!

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How nice. An appreciative fan. Though why this man’s roommate would continually talk about my fat woodchuck post is anyone’s guess.

Right after that, I found this:

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Motorhome Collision Repair Near Me

Spam

Next time I read a blog, Hopefully it does not disappoint me just as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I truly believed you would have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could possibly fix if you were not too busy searching for attention.

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I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but the speed at which my new motorhome collision repair fan turned on me was shocking.

🤣

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Uncategorized

Recipe fails.

38 Comments

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Because I like to share the joy with friends at the holidays…

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If that doesn’t have them oohing and ahhing at the Thanksgiving table, nothing will.

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A grilled cheese recipe book? Please.

It’s bread, a slice of cheese and melted butter. Even my culinary challenged husband can do that. No book required.

And if you thought that was bad?

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Just… no.

My late MIL was the Queen of Spam.

Spamloaf. Spam Mac and cheese. Spam and eggs. Spamgetthi. Her kitchen was a gag worthy cornucopia of Spam. You never knew where it would turn up next.

The fact that this monstrosity of meat still exists makes my stomach tremble in horror.

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