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Did you know…
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I don’t drink Campari, and now I’m twice as glad I never did.
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Vodka cures frizzy hair? It truly is the nectar of the Gods.
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So Walgreens was built on whiskey’s back? Take 2 shots and call me in the morning.
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Good ole George. 11,000 gallons a year probably made wearing those wooden teeth a little more bearable.
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The first one supposedly has merit in the fact that you won’t have to touch strange doors.
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Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending on your point of view) it also looks like a kinky sex toy.
Next is an electric wine aerator.
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Because Covid has us all at the end of our ropes and we don’t have enough patience left to let our reds breathe on their own.
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A wobble cushion to activate my core?
Just, no.
Isn’t that what husbands are for?
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Frozen shot glasses. Now we’re talking.
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I don’t bore easily and can’t see the need for one of these…. but our friends had one at their lakefront camp last year and said it was a riot.
Ya know, if frying insect life to a crisp is your thing.
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What fresh Hell is this?
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Crikey!
That’s a caterpillar?
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Damn, watch out Virginia. 2020 isn’t through with you yet.
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Yeah, that doesn’t sound good at all.
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Flowers –
For a pure burst of summer color?
You can’t beat peonies.
They’re bright, lush and smell heavenly.
Flags –
Or as my husband calls them…
Guest towels from the spare bathroom you nail into a long piece of wood when your wife isn’t looking.
Foolishness –
The gift a friend gives you because she knows you’re allergic to horsefly bites.
With a name like the Bug Bite Thing, you don’t expect it to work.
And no surprise, it didn’t. A horsefly bit me, I suctioned my arm as directed and still swelled up like a politician at a pay by the plate fundraising dinner.
More foolishness –
Contains 40% urea.
WTF!
Don’t know what urea is?
Google it, I’ll wait.
**********************
Right?
Who in the world wants to rub urine on their feet.
And on the off chance I ever do? I’ll save myself some money and ask the neighbor’s dog to pee on me. Lord knows he’s been trying to for years.
Because you have to keep laughing.
That’s my plan.
If you have a better one, please share.
I wouldn’t doubt it at this point. Society does seem to be breaking down.
In Maine, a local reporter was interviewing random people last week, asking how they felt about the safety precautions … masks, social distancing, closures etc. When he asked a man who wasn’t wearing a mask… even though it was requested by the store and mandated by the town… the man spit on him.
That’s where we are.
So yeah… Godzilla really doesn’t seem too far fetched.
Dad jokes.
They’ll never die.
I hope so.
I certainly hope so.
And once you read them you’ll realize how little you care…..
I’m sure you could have gone all day with out hearing that, but since I hate nuts anyway? It strengthens my resolve that peanut butter is disgusting.
Yeah.
Enjoy that sandwich now.
I dare you.
I had to do a little research on this one because I grew up adoring Ted.
Sadly, he’s wasn’t always the sweet cuddly children’s author we imagined.
But I still love the Lorax, sorry Helen.
Asbestos snow…
What could go wrong?
True.
And quite bizarre…
Well, we could all use a little more protein in our diets.
People are allergic to cochineal insects?
How would they know? I didn’t even realize there was such a thing.
Okay, I agree…. that really would have sucked.
And finally, because men aren’t filled with enough penile insecurities as it is.
Sorry guys.
Penis envy is a horrible thing.
P.S. ….. When I woke up and checked WP on my phone this morning? My reader preview made me do a double take.
Damn.
The porn spammers will be back any day now.
I like…
This tee shirt I picked up at Goodwill the other day.
If my husband would just follow this one simple rule, life would be so much more pleasant.
I like…
The new yellow kiwi fruit.
Have you tried them?
Yum!
I like….
The Annual Damariscotta PumpkinFest Regatta.
(And you thought we only raced zucchini in Maine. Pfft!)
But this year, I really like the pumpkin they’re using to advertise it.
I like…
Finding multiple praying mantises (manti?) on the baby barn we’re remodeling.
Did you know the female praying mantis bites off her partner’s head after sex?
Clearly she’s a woman who doesn’t like to cuddle.
I like…
Apple season.
Our trees are loaded with juicy fruit…
And soon my belly will be full of juicy pie and fritters.
actual video of me after eating juicy pie and fritters
Day 5.
(Only 2 more Berkshire vacation days to go. There will be an end… eventually. I promise.)
Destination? An indoor conservation garden filled with wonderful (and sometimes creepy crawling) things.
But first we had to get there.
We passed beautiful stone churches…
The ever present windmills…
And a very strange breed of Berkshire deer.
If you use Apple maps navigation like we do, you know that SIRI can put you on some very out of the way routes to cut 35 seconds off your arrival time. This trip was no exception.
If that bitch directs you to take the Quarry Road up and over the mountain?
Do. Not. Go.
Calling it a road is a stretch, as it got narrower and narrower until it was nothing but a dirt trail. I stopped photographing shortly after that pic was taken because it was rutted, slippery with mud and about 4 inches wide. My fingernails were too busy digging ruts into the dashboard to operate the camera.
But we survived and made it to…
I wasn’t sure what to expect, as there were mixed reviews of this small family run operation.
But the cafe looked alright.
(No, we didn’t eat. Food lovers will have to wait for dinner.)
We purchased tickets and walked through the first door to….
A veritable insect Disneyland!
Warning – if you don’t love bugs and reptiles? Come back for Part 2. There were a lot of both.
Personally? I love me some bugs! The bigger and creepier the better.
I mean, look at them!
A mass of writhing Madagascan Hissing Cockroaches.
What’s not to love?
Yeah…
Thanks for that.
This one was hungry.
These lived their lives upside down.
But these?
These fellows from New Guinea looked like dead leaves walking, and were just plain amazing!
There were brightly colored poisonous dart frogs…
Who were hard to photograph as they kept jumping around at will.
Very rude…
Don’t they know I have to blog to write?
As well as weird and wonderful lizards.
How cute is that?
I could easily have spent all day in just that one room….
But the butterflies were waiting….
River's world..... 