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This month’s calendar factoid introduced me to a strange bird.
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I dare say a lot of wives have the same problem.
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On seeing that cartoon I thought, that can’t be right.
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But it turns out they weren’t far off.
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That’s one strange song, for sure.
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten enjoys his outdoor time, though he’s still restricted to the leash. Our walking excursions usually consist of me standing and him sitting, but fresh air is fresh air and now that the weather is warming up he’s constantly howling to be taken into the great outdoors. Does he avidly explore his environs?
No…
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He face plants on the lawn and stays that way. His Lordship is an odd bird, what can I say?
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Walking a cat can be challenging, predominately because they don’t actually want to walk.
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They want to crawl under things and sit which leaves me with a plethora of butt shots.
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Another missed opportunity and this time it was entirely my fault. When walking his Lordship I usually keep a loose finger grip on the leash but the other day I had it looped around my wrist and wouldn’t you know it… that was the exact moment our resident red squirrel b*tch darted right out in front of Lord Dudley Mountcatten.
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He ran to give chase but was jerked back by the leash I couldn’t drop just as he reached for her.
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It was a close call… but damn it, she escaped.
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Up the cedar tree she went… and sat there for a good 20 minutes teasing my boy.
And me for that matter.
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He could have had her.
It was so close….
😫
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten has discovered dirt and I can’t say I’m exactly thrilled with his new hobby.
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Every time I take him out for a walk now he makes a bee line for the bare earth under the bird feeders and rolls.
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Of course he’s not happy until he’s covered in seed, bird poo and clumps of dirt.
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Look at him. Positively orgasmic.
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Let me just throw this out there… I love dinosaurs!
Always have, always will. While other little girls were playing with baby dolls and decorating Barbie’s stupid dream house, I was waging a life and death battle with my T Rex and Brontosaur. When other children wanted to go to Madison Square Garden to see the circus, I begged my parents to take me to the Museum of Natural History to see the Stegosaurus skeleton. In a perfect world I would have grown up to be a fossil hunter, endlessly scouring
the Black Hills for remnants of the Cretaceous. The best I can do now? Live vicariously through documentaries my husband thinks are dry as toast. Until this one –
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Tomorrow on Apple TV, the dinosaur documentary to end all dinosaur documentaries will begin. Hosted by David Attenborough…. All Hail Sir David! …it’s the dino version of Planet Earth and I can’t wait.
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*note to self – buy copious amounts of popcorn and butter*
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Now that’s tv worth watching!
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Momma Chuck has been visiting off and on for a few weeks now and while I’m not sure if she’s moved back in under the man cave/barn… it’s a distinct possibility.
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I threw out some carrot shavings for her yesterday when low and behold…
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Junior showed up as well.
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Last year when Momma had her babies, there was a runt who was constantly by her side. We worried that he wouldn’t grow big enough to make it through the winter, but it looks like he did.
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Although having a pesky teenager following you around could get old quickly.
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It’s official… Momma Chuck is back, fresh out of hibernation and voraciously hungry.
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It seems she had no trouble remembering where the salad bar was located.
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And if you’re wondering how I know this is Momma Chuck and not one of the four babies she had under the barn last year…
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I’d say it’s the decided lack of that 18 hour bra I recommended last season.
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🤣
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Our resident fox is feeling comfortable at the buffet.
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They’re such beautiful creatures and I love seeing him trot up from the woods every evening.
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While he comes for the seeds and nuts spilled from the bird feeders, I also feed him mealworms, apples and berries which he loves.
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And small breed, high protein, grain free dry dog food with taurine. It’s the closest I can come to the fox food they sell on UK Amazon but won’t ship to the United States. Boo to that.
I’m hoping if he makes himself at home the law of averages will let him cross paths with a certain… oh so scrumptious… red squirrel who shall remain nameless.
😈
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Big momma woodchuck is out of hibernation and stuffing her face at a rapid pace.
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I’d thrown out bread for the birds earlier that morning but when I saw her arrive and start munching, I quickly gave her lettuce instead.
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You know, the head of iceberg lettuce my husband brought home from the store after I specifically wrote “green leaf, red leaf, Boston or romaine…. anything but iceberg!” on the grocery list.
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Even as hungry as momma chuck was….
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She left most of the tasteless crunchy white parts.
🤣
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You have to admire a man who follows his passion and makes his dream come true. No matter how strange that dream may be….
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Yes, there really is a museum devoted to the penis. And surprise! A man thought of it.
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Let’s imagine the reading of that will shall we?
“ To my beloved wife… I leave our house, vehicles and savings account.”
“To my devoted children… I leave a substantial trust fund for their college education”
“To the strange man I met on the subway, I leave my penis… because I’ve always been proud of it and he promised to put it on display .”
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A bull whip penis will not be on the top of my Christmas list. Nope. Never. And can you imagine receiving one as a gift? I have a lot of fake smiles in my repertoire…. MIL cooked meals, Pampered Chef parties, office charity auctions, etc… but even I’d be hard put to look happy unwrapping that.
🥴
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River's world..... 