Tag Archives: free

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And you wonder why I drink.

September 16, 2022 Rivergirl 31 Comments

The husband was late coming home from breakfast with the boys the other day and it didn’t take me long to realize why.

My husband’s favorite word is free. And a free table and chairs on the side of the road proved irresistible.

Was it a nice table and chairs in good condition? I think you know the answer to that….

It was horrible. The table was covered in paint and stickers with an assortment of cracks and gouges.

The chairs? Eww.

Stained beyond all hope of cleaning. But that didn’t deter the husband, no sir. He was going to fix everything and sell it.

I couldn’t imagine who would want it, though the table was solid oak and expanded to 8 feet with the leaves.

He spent the next 3 days working on it and with a lot of elbow grease and nail polish remover, managed to clean the table top.

At this point I felt he had suffered enough and introduced him to the wonders of Old English scratch cover oil.

Not perfect, but a damned sight better.

To be continued….

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Of food and turtles…

June 25, 2022 Rivergirl 18 Comments

It’s that time of year again.

Rhubarb time. When everyone who grows the noxious plant tries desperately to pawn it off on unsuspecting strangers. This rarely works, but if you’re visiting Maine in June, be warned.

Our small town has a wonderfully inventive food bank and is supported by many of our organic farmers. You never know what they’ll whip up next.

Lots of items are advertised for free around these parts.

No free turtle? I’ll pass.

Believe me when I say you don’t want this fellow nibbling on your toes.

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This and that.

June 21, 2022 Rivergirl 22 Comments

Did you see this on the news?

A woman answered a Craigslist ad and brought home a free couch. She noticed it was lumpy on one side and when she unzipped the cushion she found $36,000 in cash. The remarkable part of the story? She called the owner and gave it back. Turns out the furniture they were giving away was from a deceased relative who was notorious for hiding money. The owners were so pleased, they bought the woman a new refrigerator.

What say you? If the money was in your free couch cushion…. would you return it?

In other news, some interesting critters have been spotted on our road.

This fellow was right around the bend.

This guy was a little farther down. In all the years we’ve lived here, I’ve never spotted a moose. I’m hoping he’ll make his way to our backyard buffet soon.

Two ostriches for $880 or three for $190. Someone needs to check their ad copy.

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There’s free and then there’s free.

October 3, 2021 Rivergirl 11 Comments

Our town often posts announcements of items people are giving away for free. Some of them are lovely and thoughtful…

And some of them make me scratch my head.

This saw needs a motor, belt and blade.

Good grief, what else is there….?

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Remember the free pool table?

June 15, 2021 Rivergirl 29 Comments

You know, the one our friends gave us that inspired my husband to spend untold thousands in converting his storage barn to a man cave extraordinaire? Well guess what…. the husband has decided the free table isn’t good enough now and has been shopping for a new one.

Have you ever shopped for a pool table during a global pandemic that forced everyone to stay home? If not, I don’t recommend it. Maybe it’s just Maine, but up here decent pool tables are hard to find. After exhaustive research ( that would be me, you know he wouldn’t take the time ) and a few disappointing viewings from Craig’s List ( ‘oh yes, the table is nearly new and in perfect condition’ they say… standing over a tilted, dented wreck with ripped felt ) we found a store with two ( yes, that’s all ) tables for sale.

Did I mention it was a very high class place? I deduced this by the dogs playing poker plastic sculpture that took center stage.

Swanky pool cue holders were available as well.

Husband tried this table but it got a no vote from me. If we’re going with better… I want better, not seedy pool hall decor.

This had a little more style, but the wrong color felt. Turquoise may be hot right now but we prefer the old fashioned green.

The tables can be ordered and customized with any wood finish as well.

Out the door, delivered and professionally set up for $3,500. Please note this is a far cry from free…. but not as much as the Brunswick or Olhausen brands. Those babies go for $8,000 – $10,000.

* gulp *

The search continues.

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Someone thought this was a good idea.

April 9, 2021 Rivergirl 37 Comments

While at our local pub last week, a patron who was sitting on the other side of the bar bravely ordered this:

Yes, you read that correctly. The beer was brewed with gummy bears. Why such an atrocity should take place I don’t know… but he laughed and gagged and promptly pushed the can back at the bartender who attempted to throw it away. I say attempted because you know my husband wasn’t going to let that happen.

Yes, the beer was pink.

Yes, it tasted as horrible as you would imagine pink gummy bear beer would taste.

But you know what? The husband drank it anyway… because free beer is free beer.

🥴

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I love my town… Part who cares anymore.

March 10, 2021 Rivergirl 15 Comments

Our town has come up with some marvelously creative ways to keep kids active and engaged during the Covid months. This is the latest.

Businesses and public areas are all displaying clues.

In other news, people are offering free treasures.

Dirty, smoke stained old cups from a discontinued set? Christ, don’t tell my husband.. he’d be on them like white on rice.

An icicle contest. Most excellent!

Our big one had grown to 5 feet so I proudly entered it to take the lead…..

Until Robert showed up.

Damn you Robert. You and your massive projectile.

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Going, going… gone.

December 10, 2020 Rivergirl 13 Comments

Now that the man cave/ barn Mahal is starting to shape up? The husband wanted things out. My things that is.

Our old loveseat has been stored in there for years, and I was sad to see it go because it’s wicked comfortable and matched the walls quite well.

I voted for keeping it as you can never have too many comfy kick back with a beer or cocktail places to sit, but was instantly over ruled.

The first person turned out to be the in-law of the man who stained our barn, so goodbye loveseat.

The next thing he made me get rid of was the driftwood tree. He’s been squawking about it’s removal for months now and no matter how much I tried to convince him it would be a unique addition to the barn decor?

The minute I listed it? Three women were fighting over it. Guess I should have sold it instead.

So two of the things I wanted to keep were gone…. and guess what was added?

A turkey foot that flips you off.

This was a retaliation gift for the plaque I made the previous owner of the pool table after my husband beat him badly at the first game. They insisted the foot and plaque accompany the table…. so we’re now the proud owners of a petrified foot.

What do you want to bet we’re the only house on our block with one of those?

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The circle of life.

November 29, 2020 Rivergirl 21 Comments

As you already know, my husband is the king of free. He can’t pass up anything, no matter how useless…. as long as he doesn’t have to pay for it.

This has driven me nuts for years and I have never, ever! felt the need to join him in his obsession.

Until last week.

When I saw this on our local Facebook page:

Pre-Covid our plan was to replace all the flooring in our home. (Post Covid? Holy crap, I don’t want strange people in my house!) Along with that plan would have come long overdue new furniture, to include coffee tables. So since the plan went out the window with the plague, I thought why not? This looks good… and it might be a nice interim fix.

I should have known.

When the husband lifted it out of the truck? It jiggled…. and never even made it into the house. What an utter piece of junk! Fake wood, loose glass and legs so unsteady dropping a napkin on it would probably cause it to collapse.