.
The fact that you can’t use it is what makes it worth reading.
.
.
I think canine love is in direct proportion to the biscuit level of a Milkbone box.
Full box? Adoration
Box almost empty? Derision.
.
.
Is it? This almost makes me afraid to open the pantry door.
(In case you’re wondering? It’s coffee. )
.
.
Of course it was, it’s Florida.
.
.
And let’s face it, that beats Ron DeSantis any day of the week and twice on Sunday’s.
.
.
To be honest, I’d prefer to talk with the donkey.
.
.
Far be it for me to blog about something useful. I wouldn’t want to break my trend…
.
.
Finally! An acceptable use for artificial intelligence.
.
.
You go girl.
.
.
This will be me. Seriously, I take photos of videos of everything else… why not death?
.
.
Times are tough, even in Hollywood.
.
.
$248,000 a month for three teenage kids? That sounds about right.
.
.
Well color me surprised.
Not.
.
.
You can’t use it, but keep reading anyway.
.
.
Giving new meaning to their slogan “we’ve got the beef”.
.
.
And I’m supposed to care about this why…?
.
.
How glad are you to be a loyal reader now?
.
.
Approachable size. 
I’m dying.
🤣
.
.
I can barely stand myself in this universe. Meeting another 100 versions of me is not on the top of my bucket list.
.
.
I don’t envy that town’s Chamber of Commerce. Spinning cannibal crickets to the tourist trade has got to be tough.
.
.
Because I doubt I’ll ever run out of ridiculous headlines.
.
.
I’ve never been so glad to not be a doctor.
.
.
Methinks Dr. Willis enjoyed his job a little too much.
.
.
I’m totally signing up for that bus tour!
.
.
For me?
It’s been roughly 59 years and counting…
.
.
Good grief Florida, what next? You and Texas are neck and neck for weird happenings this year.
.
.
Being quarantined and sprayed with chemicals isn’t my idea of a good time, but whatever. .
And if you’re wondering how toxic that chemical is?
.
.
If it’s illegal… why and how is the Florida government using it!
.
.
You can’t use it, but you can laugh. Try that…
.
.
I’m guessing that’s going to be a hard sell.
.
.
I love my phone, but I can honestly say that’s the one place I’ve never used it.
.
.
It’s always the last place you look.
.
.
Damn. I hope not….
.
.
Because useless news is the very best kind.
.
.
Incoming!
Walking outside just got a lot more interesting for Georgians.
.
.
I assure you, I definitely do not need to do this.
.
.
Damn it. First John Oliver beats me to Russell Crow’s jockstrap… now this. A day late and £18,000 short, that’s me.
.
.
Imagine the bartender’s surprise when he reached for that bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.
.
.
You can’t use it. But it may make you smile…
.
.
Sorry, it will always be the Wienermobile to me.
.
.
And you know someone had to actually lick it to warrant posting that sign.
In local news, the Wiener was recently spotted boarding a ferry in Maine.
.
.
You don’t see that everyday.
.
.
Well, if Tik Tok says it…
.
.
Another headlines that begs the question… why?
.
.
Weirdest. Plant. Ever.
.
.
You can’t use it, but I’m still putting it out there.
.
.
Geese are territorial little buggers, and while I’ve never been personally attacked, I do tend to give them a wide berth.
.
.
Good call Al. Neither do I….
.
.
Maine’s state bird is the Chickadee… and you will pry him from our cold dead hands.
.
,
Damn. My complaints about the red squirrel seem somewhat trivial now.
.
.
Because there’s simply so much of it…
.
.
I’m not sure I need a reason other than the title, but thanks all the same.
.
.
Now that’s one seriously old clam. How he avoided the chowder pot for that long is impressive.
.
.
My only question when reading things like this is… why?
.
.
Finally, a prescription I can get on board with.
👍
.
.
Useless, but addicting… no?
.
.
This is the very definition of useless news.
.
.
See? You could have gone all day without knowing that.
.
.
I think the cross makes this outfit. Nothing like piety like a good circumboob.
.
.
If you’re going to lay out a veritable plant buffet, you have to expect random nibblers.
.
.
I, on the other hand… do not.
.
.
Adhesive?
And it sticks to… what?
Hard pass.
.
River's world..... 