Tag Archives: news

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News you can’t use.

14 Comments

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You might not be able to use it, but these things must be shared.

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No, not the Walking Dead kind… just zombie viral genomes. They don’t have a tv show but are still pretty impressive.

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That’s one bad ass prehistoric goldfish.

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There’s an America’s Best Restroom contest. How did I not know this? What are the categories… most comfortable commode? Most elbow room in a stall? Most stylish tampon dispenser? I need to know!

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Am I the only one who finds this disturbing?

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I.

Can’t.

Even.

😳

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

25 Comments

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You can’t use it, but read it anyway.

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Do not piss off a camel. Got it!

Funny story…. back in the early 80’s my Marine Corps husband ported in Israel for two weeks while on a med float. Not one to hit the dive bars… he toured Jerusalem, Masada and swam in the Dead Sea. He also rode a camel.

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Said camel did not bite him, but it did make its displeasure known and spit on him quite frequently.

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Deal me out. I don’t care how pretty your deck of cards is, a night spent discussing weight gain, mood swings and hot flashes is not my idea of a good time.

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I don’t watch Tik Tok videos. And now I know why…

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Why is this weasel still talking?

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He’s a reprehensible human being and should crawl back into the hole from whence he came.

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They’re going to have to go a long way to beat or even equal the original. But I’m psyched! And ready to watch them try.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

23 Comments

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Because the world is full of it. In more ways than one…

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The only appropriate response to this is…. why?

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I was unaware of this beyond ridiculous law, but sadly it’s true. And once again it makes me wonder, why does America hate its women?

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Finally, a workout routine I might be able to stick with.

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You can run, but you can’t hide. Sorry Georgia and South Carolina.

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I can’t confirm this particular news, but I really hope it’s true.

🤣

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

26 Comments

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Or maybe you can. Who am I to judge?

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Unbearable heat. Sink holes that can swallow your house. Hurricanes. Anacondas and boa constrictors in the waterways. Now there are giant snails? Makes me glad I’m at the other end of I-95.

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Did she hide them in her hair? If so, it’s easy to see how she got away with it for so long….

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This guy had a period for 20 years and didn’t know it. Bloating and homicidal mood swings weren’t enough to make him wonder?

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This doesn’t surprise me at all. Matter of fact, I’ve known a few guys like that myself…

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Uncategorized

Miscellaneous silliness

32 Comments

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Because we all need a little more silly in our lives.

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I’ve had my share of asshole plants. Matter of fact, I’m looking at one right now.

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See it up there taunting me? Scraggly, half dead. Yellow and brown tipped leaves so I don’t know if it has too much water or not enough. What a jerk. And talk about a misnomer. It’s called a Philippine money tree but hasn’t dropped a single 20 dollar bill on me in the 5 years he’s lived here… the rat bastard.

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Umm… far be it for me to argue with granny, but that doesn’t look like a lady to me. Check your ad copy nana. He doesn’t need a bra as much as a girdle.

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Unexpected? How hard is it to chop celery for heavens sake.

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When they’re right, they’re right.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

18 Comments

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Because it’s so much more interesting than news you can.

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That’s good to know. I’m tired of worrying about Covid anyway.

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Why the alarm? I think they sound perfectly delightful.

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Yes, I’m here to tell you first hand… it most definitely is happening. On the plus side, this is the first time I’ve been glad I came up allergic to lobster 9 years ago.

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Of course she did. I would expect nothing less.

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Mr. Happy? How can you tell….

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And is it me…. or is this one of those owners who starts to resemble their pet?

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

15 Comments

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In the continuing makeup inspired by weird things trend…

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Chocolate scented nail polish? Ewww. Who needs random people trying to lick your fingertips in the Covid era.

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This makes me even more reticent to go down in the husband’s crap filled cellar. There no telling what’s been living down there….

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Real estate has always been astronomical in my state but the recent inflation in the housing market is now completely out of control.

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As far as I’m concerned there’s only one mistake. Eating it.

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At this point, a Mats car is probably easier to book than anything from Hertz or Avis.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

30 Comments

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Because the nightly news is too depressing and hate filled.

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I shop at Goodwill all the time. Closest I’ve ever come to art is Elvis on velvet and dogs playing poker.

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I don’t eat Cup Noodles, why in the world would I want to paint my face or nails to match?

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When you have a head that looks like you’re constantly flipping someone off, it pays to look surprised.

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Guest house might be stretching it, but boy… I wish these had been for sale when my MIL was alive.

🤣

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

24 Comments

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Because I live for odd headlines.

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If they’re anything like Twinkies, I’m sure they still tasted fine.

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Yes, in 1945 American GI’s liberated a little girl’s birthday cake along with Italy. She looks quite happy now, so I guess what they say is true… it’s never too late for cake.

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While we welcome all wild visitors for a nosh at Casa River … this makes me glad I don’t live in Florida.

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Is this really a gift? I’m going with no.

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