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Yes, I have more pickle abominations to share.
Because if I have to see them, so do you.
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Pickle soup?
What fresh hell is this….
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Nope. Uh uh.
Stay the hell away from my mac and cheese.
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I don’t care for sushi to begin with, but I doubt adding pickles will help.
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Ugh.
That doesn’t even look appetizing.
🤢
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I’m not sure what I did to deserve never ending pickle posts showing up on my Facebook feed, but here’s the latest batch of horrors.
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Gag.
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Once and for all… keep your pickles out pf my tequila!
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I’m from Jersey, which is next to Philly. We take our cheesesteak seriously …. this is a hard no.
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Word of warning – if you serve a pickle cake at your wedding? I’m getting you a clapper for a gift.
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That doesn’t even look appetizing.
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Yes, the pickle posts just keep on coming though I’m sure I don’t know why.
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Even liberally doused with Jameson, I’m not apt to crave a pickle cupcake.
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I don’t like dirty martinis…. so I’m passing on dirty tequila as well.
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Oh, hell no.
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I can think of lots of better ways.
Blech!
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Pickle-sicle?
Uh uh. And my spellcheck agrees, it changed pickle-sicle to pickle-suck.
🤣
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Because nothing says I love you sweetheart quite like pickles.
Not.
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And the pickles keep on comin’.
There seems to be no end to revolting alternate uses for pickles. Read on, but be warned … you may lose your appetite.
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I would not.
I will not.
And you can’t make me.
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That’s simply not kosher.
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Mother of God… why?
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It’s Texas.
Enough said.
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Oh… the horror!
🤢
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Yes, the pickle posts are still peppering my page. So grab your cup of morning coffee and check out these briny abominations.
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Fritters are delightfully sweet treats.
Hard pass.
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There’s a name for this, but it’s definitely not fashion.
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Pickle juice ice cubes.
I just can’t…
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No.
And again, no.
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I have two words for this person.
Seek help.
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It’s finally time to start planting some annuals around Casa River. It’s really only safe after Memorial Day as we had frosty nights right up until the end of May.
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A few geraniums.
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Some peachy begonias on the kitchen porch.
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A line of alternating marigolds.
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And it was back to the greenhouse for another trunkful. One can never have too many flowers.
My husband disagrees, but what does he know?
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A pizza. With pickles. And pickle flavored potato chips. Christ, it might as well have kale.
🤢
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I always thought I was one of those people who said – I’ll eat anything as long as it’s covered in chocolate.
Turns out I was wrong.
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I have a few Facebook friends who share nothing but motivational posters.
No family photos. No vacation albums. No silly animal videos.
Just these.
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Most of them are pretty.
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Some of them are cute.
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Okay, you got me. That one makes perfect sense.
And while I’m sure my friends mean well spreading their words of wisdom, I’ve never been a motivational/self help type of girl. I don’t read the books, I don’t cross stitch the sayings on pillows.
My idea of good advice runs more along these lines.
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Kind of the anti motivational motivation.
It’s just how I roll.
And in case you were wondering? My pickle algorithm is alive and well.
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No, they’re not.
Trust me on this.
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Oh those pesky algorithms.
You click on one pickle martini recipe for blog fodder and then bam! Before you know it?
You’re pickled.
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My Jameson will never be shot out of a hollow pickle.
Nope. Not happening.
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For the love of all that’s holy.
No.
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I beg to differ.
🤮
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I can honestly say I will never need a Russian pickle puff.
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But I suppose it’s good to know they exist all the same.
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Shark slippers? I’m sure they’re great for scaring the crap out of sand crabs, but no.
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Do I need to drink my cocktails out of a bird’s ass?
I most assuredly do not.
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And if I don’t need a bird ass cocktail delivery system? I certainly don’t need an egg laying one. Trust me, this will not relieve my stress.
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Have you ever walked through a store and spotted products that make you do a double take?
I do it quite often and always stop to take pictures to rant/blog/post about later.
Here are a few of my latest finds:
Pickle In A Pouch.
Unrefrigerated and languishing for God knows how long by the cash register?
That’s just wrong.
But Big Papa anthropomorphized Pickle…
The Portly Pickle who’s arms are open wide and ready to wrap you in his pickley goodness??
So very, very wrong.
Then… there was this:
A remote control Tom Brady helicopter.
Maybe Bill Belichick will use these to spy on opposing teams from now on, who knows.
But I have to admit…
I think they got Tom’s shade of lipstick just right.
And finally, there was this wireless keyboard and mouse I ordered from Amazon for the husband.
Which looked great until we opened it and found it didn’t include a dongle. I went back to the Amazon listing and it said “Just plug and play”, so where the hell was it?
Let’s check the instructions.
“Keybord”?
Yeah.
Shame my Japanese is a little rusty.
P.S. The dongle?
Hidden in a compartment on the back of the mouse.
It’s always the last place you look.
River's world..... 