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Come on. You know you want to…
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I am seriously and utterly screwed.
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My only weapon is the tiny water pistol I use on his Lordship when he scratches the furniture. So unless zombies melt like the Wicked Witch of the West?
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I’m screwed.
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No, I haven’t run out of these yet.
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Hmm… Black Haddock has possibilities.
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And it’s better than yesterday’s… Blue HoHo.
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That’s easy….
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I know it’s a staple of childhood sandwiches and a good source of protein as an adult, but I completely despise the stuff. The mere smell of it makes me nauseated. I don’t care if you cover it in chocolate… I’m not eating it.
Nope.
Uh uh.
Never.
And if my husband comes at me with that nasty nut breath? I’m not kissing him either.
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Yes, again. Humor me and play along.
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Those dastardly criminals better watch out.
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I was in the middle of giving myself a pedicure… so I guess I’ll slather the burglars with foot cream and hope they’ll be too slippery to burgle.
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I don’t care if you don’t want to… humor me.
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I’ll get the ball rolling.
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I’ve been married for 37 years… and for the most part? I have.
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Ha! My phone knows me too well. That’s where the bar is after all.
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Now there’s a vow everyone should make on their wedding day.
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Go ahead. You know you want to…
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Well, crap.
Looks like I won’t be running out of Brussels sprouts any time soon. And while I’m one of the few people who actually like them..
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Calm down sprouts, I’m on your side. But a lifetime supply is probably more than even I need.
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I just binge watched all 3 seasons of Penny Dreadful… and if you know anything about that series, you’ll know that would be one wild and crazy wedding.
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Stop rolling your eyes. It’s not painful… and they make me chuckle.
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I’ll start.
My drag Queen name is…. Julianna Creme Horn. Which, when you think about it… couldn’t be more appropriate.
🤣
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I sincerely hope World War III isn’t around the corner because I’m going to look pretty silly standing on the front line waving a bag of catnip.
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Unless I’m facing a feline army. Then? I’m going to cut years off the conflict and save thousands of lives.
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You never know when Lord Dudley Mountcatten will feel like playing. One minute he’s sound asleep on the couch while you’re watching Ken Burns’ documentary on Ernest Hemingway. The next?
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He’s nutty as a fruitcake and flinging his toys across the room.
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Maybe it was all the talk of Hemingway’s romantic entanglements that got him frisky. Ernest did love the ladies…
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Don’t groan, I know you enjoy these… even if you don’t want to admit it.
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I’ll get things rolling….
My rap name is LIL Cellulite Cream. Making slightly pudgy menopausal women over 50 shake their groove thing like they did before their thighs resembled cottage cheese.
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And before you store a disturbing mental image of my marbled thighs, summer is coming and the lotion I bought is more of a tightener. I’m not cheesy, just jiggly.
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River's world..... 