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Another post about possible Vermont accommodations appeared on my feed today. Clearly, the state misses us.
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And while I love the idea of staying in a romantic little treehouse ….
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I admit the first thing that went through my mind was damn, that’s positively asking for a red squirrel invasion. So, hard pass from me.
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I’d surely have nightmares.
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When the herd shows up early, before we’ve put out the nightly snack?
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Raiding the bird feeders is the next best thing.
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And if you’ve ever wondered why they’re called white tailed deer?
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That’s why.
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Hey lady…. it’s time for dinner.
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When I bought this calendar I thought it would be rife with blog fodder, but sadly… it’s not sad enough and I’ve had to wait an entire month for a worthy example.
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So after a long absence, I bring you the fly.
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I’m sure Jeff Goldblum didn’t have this problem.
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Next up is mice.
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Eat twenty times a day and still keep my girlish figure? Where do I sign up..
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Saturday afternoon, the deer and the snow showed up at the same time.
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Our two little bowls of sweet grain don’t last long with a herd of 13 and there’s always a good deal of jostling for position. This includes outright kicking.
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It’s hard to tell, but our buck has finally lost part of his rack.
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And as the alpha male he usually gets a bowl to himself.
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For your viewing pleasure, deer tv.
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At the turn of the century, Indian leopards developed a taste for human flesh. (If that’s not a great line to start a blog? I don’t know what is.)
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Pop a hot coal in grandma’s mouth and roll her down the hill? I know India is hot… but that’s cold.
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As much as I love all animals… (and I do! Weirdos like wombats, echidnas, and warthogs? Love ‘em all.) I can not stand monkeys. They’re shifty little bastards and this proves my point.
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Jet propelled ejaculate? Yet another reason to dislike monkeys…
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I’m sure that’s more than you ever wanted to know about jerking off a monkey, but I live to educate.
You’re welcome.
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Religion is a strange thing. When random rats start dropping from the sky? My first thought is not going to be a blessing, I can guarantee you that.
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This is wonderful news. I must move to Britain immediately! Red squirrels are in decline? It sounds like heaven.
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Elephant vs human. Who comes out on top, who’s squished to the depth of a pancake ? Mary travels to India to find out.
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If you know me, you know I had to find that engraving.
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A tad disappointing as dismemberments go, but hey, I tried.
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A shit differential! For 400 lbs a day? I hope it was double overtime equivalent.
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Proof that you can indeed be too drunk.
There’s a large section on elephants in this book including tips on which ones to avoid.
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Sounds like a lot of young males I’ve known.
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The elephant pension plan doesn’t sound too bad. Room and board with daily massages? That’s a damn sight better than Wal Mart I’m sure.
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Stiff was delightfully bizarre. Gulp was disgusting but fascinating. I admit Spook was a tad disappointing. But now? There’s Fuzz.
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The new Mary Roach book that deals with human animal interaction.
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This book is fun and filled with quirky tidbits I’m going to enjoy sharing. Chapter one finds the author in Canada taking classes with WHART.
WHART. Wildlife-Human Attack Response Training taught by the British Columbia Conservation Officer Service.
First up? Examining mannequins that represent people who were killed/mauled by bear/cougar and trying to determine who did what.
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Ya gotta love Canada.
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Now I’ll never be able to eat a plum without thinking of this. Thanks Mary.
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Tampons. Useful any time of the month apparently.
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Bear print long johns? Geesh. That guy was just asking for it.
There was a large section on bears and bear attacks, which are actually quite rare… so in the interest of public service, I’ll share WHART’s best advice should you ever encounter one in the wild.
If a bear is threat displaying (pawing the ground, huffing) in an effort to intimidate you, it’s a bluff and you should back away slowly while speaking calmly to the animal. Maybe something like, “No worries Mr. Grizzly, this little ole blogger is going to sashay back to her car now and post about her near death experience. Follow my site for an awesome close up of those impressive teeth. Kudos to your dentist by the way, they really are pearly white.”
On the other hand, if the bear is in full predatory attack mode…never run. Open your jacket to look larger, yell, scream, throw rocks, stomp. If the bear starts to charge with his ears flat, you’re the one who needs to look scary. If this happens to me first thing in the morning when I wake up… pre hairdo and makeup? No problem. The bear doesn’t stand a chance.
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We had lunch at the Muddy Rudder last week..
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Why the name?
Legend has it that many years ago the tugboat Portland slowly wound its way up the nearby Cousins River. Its destination was Yarmouth, and its purpose was to provide a place for good food, drink, and hospitality. A harsh nor’easter besieged the boat at its mooring and strong winds grounded and overturned her. The restaurant is built on that site.
But wait…. as we were sipping our adult beverages something was spotted outside.
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Do you see it?
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My iPhone camera doesn’t do him justice, but that’s one very chill seal slowly floating by on a chunk of rapidly melting ice.
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Wedge salad and clam chowder later…
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He was still floating. Though he’d flipped over on his stomach and turned to face foward.
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Fried scallops and a stuffed haddock with sherry lobster cream sauce later? He was gone, and we were full. Just another average day on the Maine coast….
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In the continuing saga of my immersion into the myriad world of excrement, my television has now jumped on board.
Geesh… you review one book, write a few posts about the digestive tract and suddenly your world is filled with doo doo.
Poo on my FB reader.
Poo on my news feed.
Now?
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My DVR recorded the latest episode of Nova and of course, it’s all about poo.
Thankfully there was a segment of the program devoted to my beloved wombat and his delightfully cubed shaped dung so it wasn’t a total loss.
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I mean really, what’s cuter than that?
But cuddly wombat aside, it does make me wonder where the next batch of excrement will pop up in my life.
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I certainly hope not. But at this point it wouldn’t surprise me..
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We all know squirrels are dedicated acrobats, pilfering seed from feeders upside down and while hanging from one foot. But the other day I found myself being impressed with their balance.
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This little guy was sitting straight up… on a bent branch of our crabapple tree… in high wind.
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It was cold, and his little front feet were tucked in.
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But his back trotters were gripping for all they were worth.
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Bravo little guy.
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River's world..... 