Tag Archives: headlines

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

23 Comments

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News. It’s a subjective term these days, and that’s sad.

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I’m not going to comment on this one, because honestly… I just don’t want to.

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Well, if it can remove car battery corrosion …. stones shouldn’t be a problem.

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And we humans dutifully comply . Ookie Pookie must be kept happy… or there will be consequences.

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Of course she did. She’s 10.

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I don’t know. And I don’t care to find out… but gee, your mother must be so proud.

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This last news alert is from my town. And I don’t know about you, but I prefer it to vaginal squirting contests.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

32 Comments

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Because regular news is so depressing these days.

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I heard the rat is now drinking Bud Light and filing for unemployment while living in his mother’s basement. His podcast is scheduled to go live next Saturday.

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Because everything needs an update, even Jesus.

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I’m on the fence with this one. Please try it for me and report back.

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Is it a shoe? Is it a bag? What’s going on here….

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Cheese in individual plastic wrappers is not cheese. It’s orange dyed rubber and should be banned from kitchens everywhere. Do yourself a favor and make your grilled sandwich from a nice Gruyère or Vermont cheddar. Your taste buds will thank me.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

24 Comments

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Because news you can use is usually depressing.

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If you’re ready for your mind to be blown, look up this artist and his beyond bizarre house. Everything is doodled, even the toilet.

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Okay, I don’t feel so bad about my outdated Shake and Bake now.

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I take it back about not being depressing. That’s the very definition of sad.

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In local news there were no takers on this generous offer. Please don’t tell my husband.

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And while I enjoy creepy Halloween decorations as much as the next girl? That’s a hard Hell no to disembodied demon doll heads.

Yikes!

😬

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

31 Comments

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Seriously, no one needs to know this stuff.

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After reading that, I’ve come to the conclusion my beloved Red Sox are just phoning it in. Rather like their playing this season.

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Yeah, right. Do they think I haven’t seen Children of the Corn?

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A three foot long earthworm? That’s a large amount of ick factor.

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Of course it is.

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I’m going to have to take their word for that.

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Thank you, but no.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

22 Comments

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You can’t use it, but if it entertains you… I’ll settle for that.

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That’s something you don’t see everyday.

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I’ll take him for a seat companion any day.

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I’ve probably seen them all already, but sure.

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My husband plogs every time we walk. He even carries a trash bag in his pocket.

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Clever ad campaign, but I’m still only buying two shoes at a time.

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Good on you Fido. I’m sure you would have beaten me as well.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

9 Comments

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And if you can use it? I’m sorry.

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I haven’t read it, nor do I have any intention of reading it, but damn. That doesn’t sound pleasant.

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Duly noted.

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I never understand people who linger there to read or play with their devices. I adore reading… but there are more comfortable seats in the house.

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That was one busy trio.

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Yes, you read that correctly.

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I’m proud to say my liquor consumption did not waver during the pandemic… and rest assured, I continue to do my part to shore up America’s potent potable economy.

😉

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

20 Comments

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This week’s headlines fall under the I really didn’t need to know that category.

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Sorry, but I can’t answer that question. My algorithms are bizarre enough as it is…. I didn’t click because I don’t need to be flooded with vaginal tightening ads.

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Ditto that for this poor woman.

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And this one as well.

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Sorry, but this makes me very glad we don’t have children.

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The fecal-oral route?

That’s a highway I’m definitely going to avoid.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

10 Comments

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If you ever can use this news? My apologies, that’s never been the intent.

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What… you thought they built those pyramids sober?

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I’d like to say this is a joke and laugh, but it’s true and not the least bit funny.

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I’m having visions of lobsters flitting to and to fro from plant to plant under the sea… and it’s quite delightful.

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No side effects from climate change my ass.

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At this point he’s got my vote, dude.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

14 Comments

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You might not be able to use it, but these things must be shared.

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No, not the Walking Dead kind… just zombie viral genomes. They don’t have a tv show but are still pretty impressive.

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That’s one bad ass prehistoric goldfish.

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There’s an America’s Best Restroom contest. How did I not know this? What are the categories… most comfortable commode? Most elbow room in a stall? Most stylish tampon dispenser? I need to know!

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Am I the only one who finds this disturbing?

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I.

Can’t.

Even.

😳

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

25 Comments

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You can’t use it, but read it anyway.

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Do not piss off a camel. Got it!

Funny story…. back in the early 80’s my Marine Corps husband ported in Israel for two weeks while on a med float. Not one to hit the dive bars… he toured Jerusalem, Masada and swam in the Dead Sea. He also rode a camel.

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Said camel did not bite him, but it did make its displeasure known and spit on him quite frequently.

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Deal me out. I don’t care how pretty your deck of cards is, a night spent discussing weight gain, mood swings and hot flashes is not my idea of a good time.

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I don’t watch Tik Tok videos. And now I know why…

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Why is this weasel still talking?

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He’s a reprehensible human being and should crawl back into the hole from whence he came.

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They’re going to have to go a long way to beat or even equal the original. But I’m psyched! And ready to watch them try.

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