Tag Archives: news

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

20 Comments

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Because there’s no limit to the crazy.

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Et tu Cookie?

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Girl Scout cookie extortion? That seems a little too on point.

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Do my male readers have any wisdom to impart on this subject?

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How huge?

8.7 million tons and the size of a shopping mall huge.

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“Our beach could literally be clean at 8 a.m. and three to four hours later a giant mat of sargassum the size of a mall will come in like the blob, like a Stephen King movie,” said Tom Mahady, city of Boynton Beach (Florida) Ocean Rescue chief. “It’s not pleasant for swimmers.”

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I keep reading about this and hope my Florida friends will share some first hand photos when it arrives. Just remember to wear a gas mask, it’s pretty stinky.

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Okay climate change deniers… shit just got real.

😳

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

25 Comments

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Ridiculous headlines to follow. You know the drill..

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Ever since The Last of Us series on HBO everyone is obsessed with fungus. If it can eat my house? I’m not sure I want to know any further details.

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Worst. Mental. Image. Ever.

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Finally, a little justice in the world.

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It seems everyone is on board with ChatGPT.

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It lacks a soul… now.

Hang in there pastor. They’re working on it.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

18 Comments

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You can’t use it, but read it anyway.

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Now that was one busy woodpecker!

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Seems like terrible waste of alcohol to me, but yes. You can.

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I don’t know about you, but I’m quite glad humans can’t regenerate. Think how many women Donald Trump could grab with all those extra appendages.

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Wow. That’s taking hide and seek to a whole new level.

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Of course they do. Though I’m not sure what the tax rate for blackmail is this year…

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use. .. the critter edition.

24 Comments

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Because the critters deserve equal time.

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I don’t know about you, but I could name a few people whose relentless sex drive gets them in trouble as well.

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Proof positive governments will tax anything and everything.

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“Permanent physical fusion”? Imagine if that had happened to you on that blind date back in the ‘90’s?

Oh, the horror.

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A parasite that doesn’t grow a pair of balls until after he’s attached to you?

I think we’ve all dated that guy at one time or another.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

30 Comments

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Unless you need a laugh that is.

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Bears.

They’re just like us.

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I’m not a gamer, and I’m absolutely not a zombie fan but I stumbled on this HBO series and am enjoying it despite myself. The fact that it could actually happen? Makes me wish I’d turned the channel.

😳

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I’ve been saying this for years.

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Which will kill us first? Fungus or AI?

The race is on.

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Cute. But if the batfish ate the fungus? I might be a little more excited.

😉

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

21 Comments

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Or want, but I’m posting it anyway.

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And TSA is worried about my shampoo bottle? Geesh.

This next headline falls under the category ‘you know you’re a redneck when’….

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Because nothing says I’ll love you forever like a Chicken McNugget.

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Stop drooling Mark. I doubt your new neighbors would approve.

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If their pasta recipes include footwear? I’m going to pass….

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

32 Comments

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Because the world is filled with crazy headlines.

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It could be…. but it won’t.

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Is $11,500 too high a price for an air dried tush? I’m going with yes.

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I wondered why I couldn’t find any spinach at the grocery store this week. Mystery solved.

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The very definition of unusable news.

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Take two turds and call me in the morning?

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Imagine the black market possibilities here. Street corner conversations between dealer and buyer will be epic.

🤣

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

32 Comments

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Because the world is a ridiculous place.

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This does not surprise me in the least.

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Men have been obsessed with their one eyed trouser snake since the dawn of time, and now we have proof.

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Why this particular fellow thought his penis would be an appropriate weapon against a charging leopard…. I’m sure I don’t know.

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I can just hear the hippo now… “needs salt”.

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And in case you’re in the mood to let the girls run free?

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Get thee to Cape Cod and jump on a ferry.

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Nantucket winters can be a bit brisk, so be careful you don’t take anyone’s eye out with a quick turn.

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Now there’s something you don’t see everyday.

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