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Is that your colon? Or are you just happy to see me…
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Hmm.
Miniature sewer scrubbers?
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Try to erase that mental image. I dare you.
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Rectal cleaning?
Jesus. That’s even worse than the Ball Wash ads.
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EneMan?
You mean to tell me there’s an anthropomorphic enema!
You know I had to find that picture.
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He’s perfect!
But not exactly cheap on eBay.
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I don’t think I will ever look at a grey squirrel the same way again.
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Seriously?
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Damn it.
Now every time I see one I’m going to be checking for missing testicles ….
And that’s just wrong.
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I’m not a big football fan, and since those dastardly 49ers ousted my beloved cheese in the playoffs… I really don’t care much about the Super Bowl this year. (Except for the commercials of course) But I dutifully watched the Bengals put my second choice Chief’s quarterback Patrick Mahones to sleep in the back half of last weekend’s game all the same. And as I gazed on that giant sea of red in Arrowhead stadium… it made me wonder what all those seats were raking in.
Behold – Ticketmaster’s prices for the game.
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Holy crap on a cracker!
It’s been a long time since I attended a professional football game, and from the look of those prices it seems that I won’t ever be going again.
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Felines are strange creatures.
Like this one who had a catnip pouch on his belly… but was too stoned to care.
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We’ve been having snow storms with really large flakes lately. The photo doesn’t do it justice.
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Now that’s a winter wonderland.
❤️
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I’m going to go out on a limb here…
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And say my house is absolutely complete without one.
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“Raccoon likes to wash and flowers”?
Okaaay….
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Quick!
Get yours taday.
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Since the husband retired, the number of old westerns being viewed in the living room has increased at an alarming rate. And while my normal response to this situation is to bury myself in a book, the husband’s ever increasing hearing loss is making concentration difficult. While I could move to a quieter room, hubby likes it when we’re in the same zip code… so I bought a toy.
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As you know we live in Maine. Land of lobster, scenic beauty and very sketchy internet service. Our tv’s are smart, but streaming is not smooth or reliable on a broadband connection.
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Enter my toy, a screen magnifier for cell phones. I was skeptical, but it actually works quite well and allows me to plug in my EarPods and watch all the HBO max series I’ve been missing without straining my aging eyes.
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I watched the new Matrix movie, Lovecraft Country, Chernobyl, The Nevers and Hacks and am seriously thinking thinking about starting Dr, Who…. from the beginning.
The Starz Western channel is 24 hours a day dontcha know.
🥴
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The husband and I have been trying to find a new place to eat (and drink) . If I can’t travel to far off places? At least I can visit new bars.
Enter the Barnhouse Grill and Pub.
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Husband found an old washing machine at the entrance, which thankfully wasn’t for sale.
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This is a relatively new place remodeled from an old seafood market. It’s rustic and takes the barn theme seriously.
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Chickens and cows were plentiful, as were the bartender’s pours. It’s not often I call it quits at two margaritas… but I did that day in an effort not to fall off my stool.
The decor was down home country with a sense of humor, and when the husband came back from the men’s room requesting my phone, I knew it would be good.
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Keg urinals. The ultimate in recycling.
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There was also another antique washing machine, complete with rooster.
This got me curious what the ladies room had to offer so in I went, phone camera ready.
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Thankfully this wasn’t the only toilet. But aside from more chickens that was about it. Not nearly as much fun as the men’s room.
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I’d like to tell you I took pictures of the wonderful chili, the strange but quite tasty macaroni and cheese bites, and the fabulous charbroiled mushroom Swiss burger we ate, but I didn’t.
All I managed at the end of my second killer ‘Rita was one shot of the Philly cheesesteak egg rolls. Weird? Yes. But also really, really good.
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They’re not lying.
I was definitely happy when we left.
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The next section of this wild and weirdly wonderful book covers the uncomfortable topic of … how shall I put it? Storage space.
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A workable alternative?
Not for me!
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‘Hooped’ means rectally imported.
I live to educate.
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I will never look at a bicycle tire pump the same way again.
😳
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Okay ladies, raise your hands. How many of you orgasmed during childbirth?
I don’t have children, so tell me… is that really a thing? All the birth videos I’ve seen show women screaming, but it sure doesn’t look like it’s with pleasure.
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You can’t beat a Thin Mint. To my mind, it’s the ultimate cookie.
Put the box in the fridge, eat with a cold glass of milk. Perfection.
While I do enjoy the occasional Girl Scout Lemonade and Toffee-tastic … those pint size femme fatales are pulling out all the stops this year and introducing a new cookie to tempt me.
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No arm twisting required.
I’m in.
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Tired of giving the same old saccharine sweet and sappy Valentines Day card to your other half?
I’ve got you.
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Take that Hallmark!
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I live in Maine. Birthplace and home of Stephen King. It’s perfect!
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I never did like that song.
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If that doesn’t melt their heart, I don’t know what will.
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And a very challenging month to say the least.
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(Okay, it’s not that bad. But my husband retired December 31rst and won’t see his first monthly pension check until June. Such are the joys of working for the Federal Government.)
As I’ve said before this was a difficult decision for my hardworking spouse. He struggled with it for years and I knew it wouldn’t be an easy transition. What I didn’t know was that I would suddenly be living with a 74 year old toddler who bores easily and must be entertained.
Since Covid ruined our original retire and travel! plans, the husband has been having trouble finding ways to while away the hours. It’s winter in Maine and we are not skiers, snowshoers, or ice hockey enthusiasts. There’s a lot of indoor down time and one can only play so much pool.
On the plus side? My auxiliary desk that has looked like this since he started teleworking two years ago…
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Is now free of post its and back to normal.
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On the down side? My husband has recently been on the phone with coworkers and clients trying to find a way to worm his way back into the aviation industry.
32 days of retirement and he already wants to go back to work.
Sigh.
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River's world..... 