Tag Archives: blogging

Sunshine Blogger Award

 

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With thanks to  Nowhere Tribune  for the nomination.

He thinks my posts are fun…

So there!

 

 

Rules:

Thank the Blogger that nominated you.

Answer the questions.

Nominate new blogs to receive the award and in this case, ask them to list 5 to 10 random facts about themselves.

List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award in your post/or blog.

Notify the nominees about it by commenting on their blog post.

 

Since my normal blogs are already filled with completely useless, random tidbits of my life this might be a challenge…. but I’ll give it a whirl.

 

1.   I can’t tolerate nuts in any form. Don’t hide them in my salad or ruin my ice cream with those nasty little things. And if you come near me eating peanut butter? I will don my gas mask and cover you in Febreze … blech!

 

 

2.    If I step in or on a boat…. and it moves? That boat is too small. I may live in Maine, surrounded by water, but I’ve been dumped in the ocean  (lake, river, etc.)  by too many canoes and punts in the past to venture out on anything tiny ever again.  Uh uh. In my 50’s? It’s all about holding on to my margarita while boating. Kayaks need not apply.

 

 

3.   In my teens, I snuck into a night club through a rest room window. No one was in the stall at the time… and thankfully, it was the ladies room. But I landed head first on the toilet and that’s never good.

 

 

4.  I have the feet of a 90 year old woman. People say I don’t look like my mother, but I sure as hell inherited her deformed feet. Bunions, the beginning of hammer toes…. I’m prematurely geriatric from the ankles down and a podiatrist’s wet dream.

 

 

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5.   As I child I never got to act in the class plays. While my friends were Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz? Or Betsy Ross on Independence Day? I was the narrator because I was always the only kid who could read quickly and correctly without missing a beat. Not nearly as much fun, but at least I didn’t have to memorize anything….

 

grass

 

Okay, he wins.

Grass is worse than narrator any ole day.

So there you have it, 5 randomly ridiculous things you might not have known about me.

Huzzah! Your life is complete.

 

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Of course having to nominate only 5 people off the long list of fabulous blogs I follow is the worst part…

I love you all equally. But rules are rules.

My 5 –

Angel Who Swears  because she is snark incarnate and I admire that in a person.

Wayward Sparkles  because she always makes me laugh, and sometimes snort.

The Rebel Fish  because I haven’t been able to figure out how Tim’s mind works yet, but I’m sure there’s an aardvark scrambling around in there somewhere.

Actual Conversations With My Husband  because she’s a little bent, and eavesdropping on their conversations is an absolute hoot.

Go Jules Go  because sharing the crazy journey she calls life is a rollicking good ride.

 

So if you want to play along, tell us 5 things we don’t already know about you.

And if you could care less?

I get it. Feel free to ignore me…

It won’t be the first time.

 

 

 

They’re persistent, I’ll give them that.

 

 

So I hadn’t checked my Spam folder for a while and was surprised to find 32 from the same sender the other day.

Oprol Evorter clearly wanted to get his/her point across.

It started out innocently enough:

whoah this blog is fantastic i love studying your posts. Keep up the good paintings!

Paintings?

I don’t paint… other than the occasional wall, but whatever.

 

l-29795-when-your-daughters-possessed-but-you-still-need-to-touch-up-that-paint-job

 

Excellent items from you, man. I have be aware your stuff prior to and you are just extremely wonderful.

I don’t think I’m that wonderful, but okay… if you say so.

 

 

 

I am impressed by the details that you’ve on this web site. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. You, my friend, ROCK!

Clearly he read my Arizona rock series.

 

djhfb

 

Hi my loved one! I want to say that this post is amazing, nice written and include approximately all important infos. I’d like to see extra posts like this.

Loved one?

How ’bout we dial that back a notch.

 

 

Yeah….

No.

Then, perhaps because I didn’t approve the comments…. things started getting a little strange.

My brother suggested I may like this blog. He used to be entirely right.

Okay, fair enough.

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

 

h3FBAE95B

 

But then…

Hello, you used to write magnificent, but the last several posts have been kinda boringK I miss your tremendous writings. Past few posts are just a little out of track! come on!

 

 

Ya gotta love it…

Everyone’s a critic. Even the spam.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Judge not lest ye be judged.

 

Excellent advice…. which I clearly don’t take.

I have a friend who’s always talking about her Meyer Briggs test results. She had to take the quiz when she wanted a promotion at work because her employers needed to know if she was management material.

If you’re not familiar…

The purpose of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) personality inventory is to make the theory of psychological types described by C. G. Jung understandable and useful in people’s lives. The essence of the theory is that much seemingly random variation in the behavior is actually quite orderly and consistent, being due to basic differences in the ways individuals prefer to use their perception and judgment.

 

Not being considered for promotion, (unless being upgraded to your favorite blogger counts) I decided to find the free versions online and take a stab at finding out what kind of personality I am.

 

i-dont-know-who-i-am-but-i-will-find-you-and-you-will-tell-me

 

Test #1

My results:

 

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None of my preferences were strongly one way or the other, which must mean I’m drab and quite tedious.

 

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A breakdown –

 

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Hmm… I’m a benevolent pedagogue who manipulates others with my unique salesmanship.

The definition of a pedagogue is a dull or pedantic teacher. Not exactly how I see myself, but online quizzes can’t be wrong.

 

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Test #2

My results:

 

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Not sure that’s the best likeness…. but I’m carrying cake and a book, so maybe it’s not too far off the mark.

 

 

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Quiz #2 shows me to be extroverted as well…. and feeling over thinking, though by much wider margins.

 

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Not quite sure what they mean by a turbulent identity, but it sounds badass…

So I’ll take it.

 

 

Test #3

My results:

 

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Another extrovert result, and apparently I talk too much.

Sorry… but that’s not exactly shocking.

 

 

 

 

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This quiz had me going both ways for cognitive style.

 

 

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And dead even for thinking over feeling.

 

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But the last part?

 

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Wow….

I’m a judgemental bitch if ever I saw one.

 

 

 

I also sound uptight and anal.

 

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Good thing I don’t take these things seriously, because from the sounds of that profile I’m a robotic taskmaster with a whip.

Of course, the whip thing could be interesting…

 

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Or not…

 

 

Apparently, he likes me.

 

Sometimes WordPress makes me laugh because I follow a lot of funny people.

 

 

Sometimes it makes me laugh because a lot of funny people follow me.

 

 

And sometimes it makes me laugh for totally unexpected reasons.

Like the other day when I clicked my notifications and saw this:

 

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Clearly I must make TANBHIR laugh because he liked the hell out of every comment I made on one of my old posts.

Every single comment.

That’s a lot of laughing.

 

 

Not enough for him to actually comment back or add anything to the thread, but clearly TANBHIR likes the like button.

Unfortunately since TANBHIR  (Who must be a serious fellow since his name is all CAPS) only wants to help me make money online so I did not return the favor and like him back. I also removed him from my followers list.

Sorry TANBHIR, but I’m not here to make money.

Better luck next time.

 

 

Throwing some questions out into the universe.

 

Why is it that….

Every time you’re in a rush to get out the door?

Great Aunt Trudy will call and want to regale you with detailed stories of her piles.

If I didn’t want to hear about them the last 3 times we spoke? Chances are I really don’t want to hear about them when I’m 10 minutes late for an appointment.

 

h1CCB7416

 

Why is it that

Every time I cut my hand in the kitchen?

I’m in danger of bleeding out because I can’t get the damned Bandaid package open with one hand.

Seriously, WTH?

 

 

Why is it that

Even though I’m a font of useless knowledge, I let my friends down last week when I couldn’t come up with the winning answer in a trivia game tie breaker at my local bar?

 

2nd-place-is-only-the-first-loser

 

But, come on.

Did you know that the original name for the Google search engine was…

BackRub?

No… I didn’t think so.

 

 

Why is it that…

Every time I take the time to wash and wax my car?

It either rains, or a flock of pigeons who’ve just eaten at Chipolte follow me home.

 

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Why is it that….

Every time I think I have absolutely nothing to blog about?

I always manage to come up with something ridiculous.

 

 

You’re welcome.

 

Nice try.

 

A few weeks ago I got an email from Instagram asking me to confirm the address on my account.

That was interesting…. because I don’t actually have an Instagram account.

 

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Five minutes later I got an email saying my username of rivergirl1211 had been changed.

Changed…

To Blankyhell.

 

 

Yes…

Blankyhell.

If that’s a place, I suppose it looks something like this:

 

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Which is how I feel during a hot flash in bed.

On the other hand, maybe they were thinking more along the lines of:

 

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Either way, it’s a pretty strange name.

So I went into the account, changed the username back, changed the password and then deleted the whole bogus thing.

I only use rivergirl1211 when I blog, so more than likely someone on here set it up.

Why would someone want to be me?

I have no clue.

Hell, half the time…. I don’t even want to be me.

 

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It’s a little creepy being hacked, even if it’s only to Instagram.

Funny part is, the account already had a bunch of followers.  And since the only posted photo was a plain black square….. I can’t say I see the attraction.

Maybe I should have left it active and followed my feed.

You never know what I’ll get up to.

And apparently, neither do I.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monty Python and Spam….

 

Did you know the reason we call annoying and repetitive messages sent online  ‘Spam’  is due to the 1970 Monty Python sketch that poked fun at the infamous mystery meat?

 

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And while I can’t abide that gelatinous pink brick either…

My WordPress Spam never fails to disappoint.

Take Will for example –

may you
be rich and continue to help others. I am sure this post has touched all the internet viewers, its really really fastidious article.

Thank you Will.

I pride myself on making my posts as sparkling clean as possible.

 

11grmv

 

And then there’s Katie who read my blog about Ding Dongs and said –

This post actually made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

Clearly the poor woman had been searching high and low for junk food enlightenment . So glad I was able to help…

 

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Kevin is definitely a fan –

I want the actual valuable material you provide in your
articles.

 

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Thank you Kevin. I shall continue to provide the superior quality posts you’ve come to know and love.

Roger asks –

Where can i give apart my used handicap scooter?

I’m not sure why he thought I would know, as I’m hoping it will be many years before I need one.

 

nDDbyn6

 

And finally, the Pretty Guinea Pig made another appearance with –

Can You Snort  500mg cialis 

To which I reply…

 

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No more Cialis for you Randy!

 

Drive by likings….

 

I love to blog.

 

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(I like to think so… but in reality? No.)

I love to read other people’s blogs.

 

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(That looks more like an ostrich egg, but who am I to turn down free food?)

I love to comment on other people’s blogs and have them comment on mine.

 

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(Yes…. Yes I can.)

For me, it’s all about connecting. And I’ve been doing it for over 14 years.

Finding a small tribe of like minded weirdos is comforting, and I enjoy it.

So while I’m relatively new here, and I realize WordPress is a large site with scores of people who try to profit from, or make a living out of it…. I’m constantly dumbfounded by the amount of shadow bloggers who inhabit this space.

They like my post, sometimes they follow me…. when I know damn well they’ve never read a single word I’ve written.

Do they even exist?

 

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Example.

 

jiyudrtf

 

This person (?) has 418 followers…

And 85 likes on a post that isn’t even a post.

WTH?

How can you like something that doesn’t exist?

 

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(Okay, never mind… that’s fabulous.)

But please tell me what the point is here, because I’m confused.

Drive by likings.

Shadow followers.

Why?

 

 

Sorry, but these are just too good.

 

Yes… I’m knee deep in my Spam folder again.

Apologies, but this stuff is comedic gold.

Arden writes:

Hi there, јust became ɑware of ykur bloɡ thfough Google,
and foսnd that it is really informative. I ɑm ɡoing to watch out for Ƅrussels.

Which is helpful…

Because you never know where they’ll turn up.

 

jhgfdshbxn

 

918kiss for ios

pokies get people from all through the world arrive together just for fun.

Of course they do.

It’s a perfectly delightful dance.

 

h8994AD22

 

Pasquale Mcalexander

some genuinely interesting information, well written and broadly speaking user friendly.

Good to know, as I always strive to provide content for the simple minded.

 

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Bill

I will right away snatch your rss as I can not find your email subscription link or newsletter service.

When I first read this, I thought it said he was going to snatch my ass because he couldn’t find an email link.

 

yikes-wow-that-was-an-overreaction

 

Hey, my blogs are good.

But not that good….

 

Sushi By 7-11

Hello everyone, it’s my first visit at this web site, and article is
really fruitful designed for me

While their appreciation of my fruit is noted, I’m not sure anyone who buys their Sushi at 7-11 can really be trusted.

I mean come on, their potato chips aren’t even fresh.

 

12wsdb

 

And finally..

Hanh Bencomo

Who seems to be on the fence when it comes to my posts…

There are some attention-grabbing time limits in this article but I don’t know if I see all of them heart to heart. There may be some validity however I’ll take hold opinion till I look into it further

 

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I really don’t see what the problem is.

I’m a frickin’ delight.

 

 

Epic advertising fail.

 

As I was strolling the local hardware store the other day,  I came across an item that was begging to be blogged about.

(Yes, I really heard it begging… so now I have to share.)

‘SnotTape.

 

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Let that sink in a moment.

And then visualize some over paid ad exec on Madison Avenue yelling, “Eureka! That new product? Let’s name it after snot!”

 

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I wasn’t sure where… or why they came up with that name, until I said it out loud a few times and realized it’s a contraction for “it’s not tape”.

Which, of course it is.

It’s tape.

So wth?

And because I’m a dedicated blogger, I did some research… which lead me to the heretofore unknown Professional Painting Contractors Forum. (Oh, the things I do for my readers)

While I agreed with this commenter’s review…

 

“Wouldn’t touch it simply based on the name. What a horrible advertising strategy.”

 

It was the next two responses that made me want to hire these contractors no matter what they charge.

 

I think, “Taint Tape”, would’ve been a catchier name, but whatever

 

And…

 

 

snot worth it.

 

Bravo Professional Painting Contractors Forum.

I agree.

But Snittens?

 

original

 

Now there’s a product worth having.

 

2h2pai

 

You’re welcome.