As you’ve probably guessed… (Or if you hadn’t? You should have.) we’re currently off on another adventure.
And have been for the last 11 days.
Yes, our annual Christmas vacation.
No holiday stress. No decorating. No cooking. No family drama. We leave it all behind, and have since December 2015.
Why?
Because I used to be Christmas crazy.
I spent a fortune, I decorated everything that stood still…. (yes, I’m ashamed to say there was even a tree on my toilet.)
I drove myself nuts finding the absolutely perfect gifts for people who didn’t appreciate it and cooked the absolutely perfect meal for family who couldn’t care less and always complained.
Maybe my mother dying was the catalyst. But in 2015 we took a trip to the Poconos…. had a blast, and never looked back.
Do I miss the beautiful live fir tree in the living room?
Yes.
I also miss all the crazy outside lights.
The well house…
The stone wall…
The funky alligator….
And reindeer who were annually buried up to their butts in white stuff.
The lights in the windows…
And on the bushes.
The sparkling balls on the table…
That caught the sun and turned our living room into a Christmas disco.
The running reindeer on the garage.
The ribboned garlands….
Yes, I miss it all.
But do I miss the 2 solid weeks of work it took to get everything set up (in the snow , ice and wind) and the solid week of work it took to take it all down (in sub zero temperatures with ice and wind) ?
No. I most definitely do not.
But rest assured I’m not totally Grinchy this year, I did put up a tree.
This trip? Williamsburg, Virginia until Dec. 30th. Meeting old friends and getting our geek on in a marvelous area filled with American history.
Colonial settlements? Check.
Revolutionary War? Check.
Civil War? Check.
I just hope 2 weeks is enough time.
And I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess there might be a few pictures to post when we get back.
I consider, that you commit an error. I can prove it. Write to me in PM, we will communicate.
I can’t honestly say I even remember what this post was about, but I’m pretty sure I don’t need to communicate with you about any of it’s errors. Geesh!
Hi there, I found your web site by means of Google at the same time as looking for a comparable matter, your web site got here up, it appears to be like good.
I am gonna be careful for brussels. I’ll appreciate for those who continue this in future.
Lots of folks will probably be benefited from your writing. Cheers!
While I’m a bit creeped out a site called ‘porn’ likes my blog, I’m more disturbed that they’re going to be careful of brussels. What did those innocent green sprouts ever do to them?
You really make it seem really easy together with your presentation however I in finding this topic to be actually something which I believe I would never understand. It sort of feels too complicated and extremely huge for me. I am having a look forward to your next submit, I’ll try to get the hang of it!
And while you may say a lot of things about my blog…
Too complicated isn’t usually the first thing that comes to mind.
So ends the respite in between vacation post series.
Cape Cod here we come!
(Yes, it was a single post respite. Hope you enjoyed it!)
I had to laugh yesterday when I checked my stat page and saw that something called The Cape Cod Daily News was listed as a referrer.
Since we just got back from a trip to the Cape, (and yes, we tend to be talkers and meet a lot of people) I was wondering which one had found me.
Not to mention how.
Because while I am a girl, it may surprise you to learn that my real name is not actually River.
Shocking, I know.
And it’s not like I start conversations with strange people by saying, “You really should check out my blog at WordPress. There’s plenty of woodchuck drivel for everyone.”
So I perused the Cape Cod Daily News site and found this:
Now I can only imagine the reaction of the poor native Cape Codders who clicked on it and found me channeling Khaled. That couldn’t have been pleasant.
And while I won’t tag Cape Cod this time… because let’s face it, I’m basically making fun of what they consider news…. the coastal cities residents are going to rue the day when Cape Cod Daily puts that action to work when I start my latest vacation series photo blitz.
You see, for the entire year my husband has been saying he’s going to retire in December. He also forbade me to book any vacations because he works for the Federal Government and can sell back his leave when he goes.
(He gets 5 weeks off every year, so the payout can be substantial.)
Except now that the day is rapidly approaching, he decided he’s going to work a little longer.
Yes, his reasoning is sound.
The old boss he hated has left and been replaced with a laid back, drama free manager.
Starting next year, they’re going to push teleworking from home 2-3 days a week…. and since he already works four 10 hour days, it will probably be a 1 day a week commute.
Good benefits.
Good pay.
The ability to dump more in our TSP (Thrift Savings Plan, the government’s answer to a company matching IRA).
I get it.
I do…
But our retirement plan was to travel, and I’d like him to be semi-mobile and breathing without a respirator when we do. (Hauling a corpse in and out of resort elevators is such a drag.)
But back to the scrambling….
It’s almost the end of the year and I don’t have much time to plan and book 5 weeks worth of vacations before time runs out. It’s not easy with the holidays right around the corner. We have a timeshare on a points system and can go anywhere, but since he’s waited so long to request time off, he can’t get more than a week at a time…. which leaves out long distance trips. I hate spending 2 days flying back and forth for only 4 days on site. With the price of tickets these days, it’s not worth it.
So thanks to WordPress’s magic scheduling ability, as you read this… we are currently returning from a week at a ski resort in the western mountains of Maine.
That’s right Lionel, I haven’t been here for a week and you didn’t even miss me.
God bless technology.
Did we ski? Hell no, it’s too early for that… even in Maine. But it’s a beautiful area and I’m sure we explored. And drank. And took pictures.
While I thoroughly applaud your tenacious natures, the madness must stop. Save us both some time and aggravation and cease your current cycle of repetitive following. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I don’t allow my reader list to be clogged with random businesses, and will continue to zap you on a thrice daily basis.
If you’re people who actually reads my blogs?
Great! Drop a comment so I know there’s a real live human being behind the clicks… and I’ll welcome you aboard.
But Pet, from the look of your page….
You’re a bot and I won’t tolerate those just to juice my numbers… or my ego.
I remove you both every single day. Multiple times…and still, you return.
It’s become a game. Morning Follow… Morning Zap. Afternoon Follow… Afternoon Zap. Evening follow… Evening Zap. Well, I’m getting a little tired of playing.
Let this serve as a warning, I have an infinite amount of patience and will outlast you.
The Liebster Award is an award that exists only on the internet and is given to bloggers by other bloggers. The earliest case of the award goes as far back as 2011. Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.
The award is a way to be discovered but also to connect and support the blogging community. A great idea in promoting your own blog and others. Originally it was given out to blogs with less than 2000 readers but this has slowly lowed as the reward has gained popularity. It is now only 200 readers or less. It’s really an arbitrary number. If you like helping other blogs out go ahead and do it regardless of its size.
With thanks to Rebecca Wallick at wildsensibility for the nomination….. ( I’m not sure sweetest and endearing are the first words people think of when my blog comes to mind, but hey. I’ll take praise where and when I can. )
If you love dogs, natural splendor and stunning scenic photographs, check out Rebecca’s page. She’s got them all in spades.
Onward!
You know the rules… I have to answer questions. Which I shall do with the utmost amount of seriousness.
1. What typically is the closest object on your right when you’re writing (not including a computer mouse)?
You’ll probably be sorry you asked that… but it’s a poop drone.
And yes, of course it flies.
2. What one-sentence bit of advice would you give to your 13-year-old self?
At 13… I was a shy little thing. Reticent to open my mouth or make my presence known. (Hard to believe, I know) So I would probably tell her…. Dance! Jump off that pier! Sing with the band! Say yes to all the adventures life lays before you and don’t worry so much about what other people think. By the time you’re sitting here blogging about it? It will be too late.
3. Describe your ideal writing space and place (assuming money isn’t an issue).
For me… that would be a treehouse.
A glam treehouse, with a frozen margarita machine and a never ending supply of tequila and limes. Surrounded by nature and the songs of birds, that’s where I’d like to be.
4. What is your most frequent photographic subject?
That changes depending on the season.. and my moods. Lately?
It’s a woodchuck who looks like Jabba the Hut.
5. Favorite quote?
“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
With…. “I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” coming in a close second.
Ole Dorothy Parker knew her stuff.
6. What does blogging (writing, and reading) add to your life?
A sense of connection. It’s like reaching my hand out across the globe and touching people I would never have otherwise met. (And by touching, I’m speaking metaphorically. Don’t call the vice squad.)
7. If you could choose to be any animal for a 24-hour period, which would you be and why?
A wombat.
And I have no idea why.
8. Do you have other creative outlets besides writing?
I used to draw. I used to write poetry. I used to make dried flower wreaths. I used to cross stitch. I used to stamp. I used to paint. I used to dry brush ceramics. I used to do a lot of things. Now… I just take crazy pictures and blog.
And drink.
I drink very creatively.
Amen, Tyrion. Amen.
Okay, now I’m supposed to nominate blogs I think you should discover and make them answer questions as well.
Of course, if you know me… you know my questions won’t be normal. Where’s the fun in that?
1. Acknowledge the blog which nominated you.
2. Answer the questions your nominator asked.
3. Nominate two to six other bloggers who might appreciate the boost.
4. Ask them several unique questions.
5. Let them know you have nominated them.
And answer these questions –
1. You’re a pigeon newly arrived in Hollywood. Who do you poop on first?
2. Donald Trump has been impeached. Mike Pence has been trampled to death at a gay pride parade. Nancy Pelosi has resigned her position and run off to Tahiti with a member of BTS. You’ve been chosen to be the next President of the United States. What’s your first executive order?
3. The Brussels Sprout is a much maligned ( and extremely gassy ) cruciferous vegetable. You run a PR firm and have just been hired to tweak it’s image. Go!
4. Your lifelong dream of being a stripper has come true. What’s your stage name?
5. Your cruise ship is sinking and you’ve scrambled onto a life raft only to realize it’s overloaded. What… or who… do you push overboard? A case of craft beer, your significant other, the oars, a beloved pet wombat, or the ship’s navigator ?
*Note – if you say beer or wombat, you are dead to me*
Yes, those really are the questions.
If you were expecting, “Name the most influential person in your life” or “What is your favorite memory of childhood” you’re reading the wrong blog.
We do things differently here.
Yes, I realize you can’t unsee that.
But if you’re struggling for a stripper name… feel free to be inspired.
A little more enthusiasm would be nice but yes, it’s been one year to the day since I joined WordPress.
And while I certainly wasn’t a blog virgin….
It did take a little time for me to adjust to my new home.
WordPress is a larger and more diverse platform than my previous sites, and though it’s also filled with more businesses and spam than I was used to…. I admit I’m enjoying it more as well.
Blogging means different things to different people and my posts have certainly changed over the years. They used to be filled with personal details, family strife, and raw emotion …. but I was burned by that.
And switched to a light hearted, irreverent look at the world instead.
Yes.
That book really exists…
“Go behind the exam room door to experience the secret lives of doctors and patients. Enjoy Pap parties. Meet the Chlamydia Clown. Win a free kitten with your physical! In this laugh-till-you-cry health care handbook, you’ll learn how fun it is to be a doctor–and a patient.”
I haven’t read it…
But feel I should, and report back.
Finding a tribe of like minded odd balls has helped me settle in here.
So to all of you slightly disturbed souls I call friends…
The loons who regularly tune in for my mindless drivel?
I shall endeavor to provide more of the same high quality nonsense…
And continue to answer some of life’s most difficult questions.
1. Kicking back on the barn porch on a summer evening after a long day of mowing and trimming the lawn?
Wonderful.
Margarita in a can?
Not so much.
But it’s alcohol.. with a view.
So I like.
2. With a shout out to Mona at Wayward Sparkles who introduced me to this marvelous piece of mechanical engineering)
I read her blog and thought, damn…. I have to have one.
And then I thought, gifts!
So I had to have 2 more.
Are you all here?
Good.
Viola!
A bell you can ring to summon the elixir of the Gods.
In pink no less!
I believe this little darling will be getting quite a work out at Casa River.
If only I could order the hot cabana boy to go with it…
I like.
And finally, ladies…
Do you have old, dry wood?
No, I’m not talking about your husbands.
We have stained wood moulding, doors, window frames and sills, and built in stained bookcases etc. basically every piece of trim is unpainted wood. They’re original to the house and tend to dry out/fade from sunlight and winter heating.
So I found this on Amazon –
Half a bottle did 12 doors and frames, 5 windows and frames and 2 large tables.
It’s good stuff. Witness the before and after…
Brings back the shine and feeds your thirsty wood with very little effort.
I like.
Thank you..
Thank you very much.
Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
River's world..... 
I congratulate, what words… a remarkable idea
I believe this post consisted of making fun of Duluth Trading Post’s expensive underwear. Not such a remarkable idea really, but to each their own.
This question is not clear to me.
It’s beer.
I was getting it on.
I’m not sure how much clearer I could be….
I consider, that you commit an error. I can prove it. Write to me in PM, we will communicate.
I can’t honestly say I even remember what this post was about, but I’m pretty sure I don’t need to communicate with you about any of it’s errors. Geesh!
Attempt not torture.
Okay, I know the Liebsters are annoying, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say that they’re torture…
Hi there, I found your web site by means of Google
at the same time as looking for a comparable matter, your web site got
here up, it appears to be like good.
I am gonna be careful for brussels. I’ll appreciate for those who continue this in future.
Lots of folks will probably be benefited from your writing.
Cheers!
While I’m a bit creeped out a site called ‘porn’ likes my blog, I’m more disturbed that they’re going to be careful of brussels. What did those innocent green sprouts ever do to them?
You really make it seem really easy together with your presentation however I in finding this topic to be actually something which
I believe I would never understand. It sort of feels too complicated and extremely huge for me.
I am having a look forward to your next submit, I’ll try
to get the hang of it!
And while you may say a lot of things about my blog…
Too complicated isn’t usually the first thing that comes to mind.
So ends the respite in between vacation post series.
Cape Cod here we come!
(Yes, it was a single post respite. Hope you enjoyed it!)