Tag Archives: humor

Motivational posters and still more pickles.

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I have a few Facebook friends who share nothing but motivational posters.

No family photos. No vacation albums. No silly animal videos.

Just these.

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Most of them are pretty.

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Some of them are cute.

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Okay, you got me. That one makes perfect sense.

And while I’m sure my friends mean well spreading their words of wisdom, I’ve never been a motivational/self help type of girl. I don’t read the books, I don’t cross stitch the sayings on pillows.

My idea of good advice runs more along these lines.

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Kind of the anti motivational motivation.

It’s just how I roll.

And in case you were wondering? My pickle algorithm is alive and well.

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No, they’re not.

Trust me on this.

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It’s been a long time coming….

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It was a long and nearly snowless winter.

Spring was late and with no snow to melt, extremely dry.

One lousy April shower and May took its sweet time showing us some flowers. Heck, we even had frost last week.

But finally….

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The lilacs are popping.

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Which means vases of that heavenly scent are scattered throughout the house.

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And while a little scraggly…

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The expensive dark cherry tree we planted last year is hanging on.

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The blooms are gorgeous.

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So my fingers are crossed it grows big and strong.

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In front of the barn?

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The choke cherry tree is in blossom. The fruit is inedible and sometimes poisonous, but the delicate spring blooms are sweet.

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She’s back!

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Yes, I’m still bird nerding out that a female pileated woodpecker has found our backyard .

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Two sightings in twenty years and now twice in one week.

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Woot!

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Needless to say I’m making sure that particular feeder is always full in case she drops by.

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A bag fills the cylinder once with 1/4 left over, and I have to fill it every other day.

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Pricey, but worth it.

(Photo includes another of my coffee table metal sculptures since you seemed to like the hermit crab.)

🙂

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Things I have no explanation for.

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This first one makes me cringe.

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Remember when I posted about those creepy dolls washing up on the Texas shore a while back? Well now you have the opportunity to own one.

Though why the hell you’d want to I can’t fathom.

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I see this every time we visit my SIL at the nursing home. It stands in a driveway down the road from the facility.

Is it Odysseus?

Did he just do a few laps in the pool?

I simply don’t know.

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We stopped at a local bar the other afternoon for some liquid refreshment.

Did they make a good margarita?

Yes.

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Why is there a giant goat head mounted above the bar watching me drink it?

I have no idea.

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And you thought you were having a bad day.

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Ever have one of those days?

You know the ones…. where everything goes wrong and you simply should have stayed in bed.

Next time you’re experiencing a day like that? Think of this poor family in Minnesota and be glad you’re not literally being shit on.

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Now that’s a bad day.

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I have one word.

Eeww.

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Someone needs to look into it.

We’ve all had the occasional pigeon let one fly on our windshields, but a fly by airplane pooping?

No one needs that.

😳

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No need for firemen.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten was eyeing our Bradford pear tree the other day during his walkabout.

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If you recall this did not end well the last time.

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Because while His Lordship likes the idea of climbing trees, his experience with execution is decidedly lacking.

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But the blooms must have been calling his name because up he went.

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It started with a pre climb scratch.

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And then a jump.

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And that was basically it… because the daft bugger has no idea what to do once he’s actually on the tree.

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So, yeah.

He literally just hangs there until he falls off.

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And then walks off the embarrassment on the rock wall.

🤣

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Around the house.

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Yesterday was a sad day for our immediate neighbors.

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The row of willow trees that have graced the front of their property for more than 80 years…

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Were deemed a nuisance to the power lines and cut down by the state.

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As a rule willow trees don’t live that long but these were glorious and well cared for.

We will miss them.

😰

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Squirrels.

Nature’s seed stealing acrobats.

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My husband was thrilled when he received this red seal five dollar bill as change the other day. I made the mistake of asking why it was special but zoned out after the first 17 minutes of rambling explanation. Here’s a more succinct recap.

On June 4th, 1963 President Kennedy signed executive order 11110 which allowed the US government to make it’s own money and bypass the Federal Reserve. The 4+ billion dollars of United States Notes (backed by US gold and silver) were put in to circulation in denominations of $2 and $5. The $10’s and $20’s were printed but never released as he was assassinated and the program was shut down.

How thrilled was he?

The man actually ironed it.

😳

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Beemer me up…

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The used car shopping continues. Miles upon miles of traveling only to be disappointed by condition or mechanical problems.

Funny part of this saga? We met up with a friend of ours on the journey who happens to sell cars on the side. When the husband told him what we were doing he gave me a strange look and said, “No offense, but I know money isn’t the issue. Why don’t you just buy new?”

To which I rolled my eyes, pointed, and said “Ask him”.

That launched my husband into his usual diatribe about how new cars are an over inflated rip off that depreciate as soon as you drive them off the lot. Then he got started on the car salesman two step. You know the dance… spend half an hour dickering on price only to be told to have a seat while he talks with his manager. Husband hates the whole process.

Because really, used car salesmen are so much better.

🤣

Our last stop of the day was a dealership almost 2 hours from home.

I immediately spotted the car I wanted him to buy.

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Don’t recognize the logo?

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Yeah.

Just a snazzy little runabout in which to do the weekly grocery shopping. Did it cost more than our first house? Sure. But money’s not an issue remember.

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Someone came in right behind us and put a down payment on this thing. To which I thought… what a giant waste of hard earned dollars… but hey, whatever floats your boat.

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This was the vehicle we came to see and might seriously be a contender.

To be continued…

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