Tag Archives: seed

She’s a clever little b*tch.

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Before the snow fell, our resident rodent pest from Hell. red squirrel was busy.

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Stealing seed from the birds and apples from the deer.

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Seeds were stuffed in every conceivable hole and our deck looked like a fruit salad exploded.

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But after the first snow storm?

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She was a happy camper.

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And remembered most of her stash spots.

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Im sure that fruit tasted good.

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She’s annoying.

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But clever.

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How seriously does my husband take feeding the birds?

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So seriously, that after filling the feeders and scattering seed on the ground for the cardinals during a snow storm?

He repeatedly chased off the interlopers.

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And threw bare handed snowballs at them to boot.

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He even followed them down the hill to the woods to make sure they were gone.

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Did I mention it was a little cold that day? Well, it was.

And just so you know?

This was the third of five hasty retreats the turkeys beat, only to come back and nosh happily on spilled seed when my husband gave up. (And no, I didn’t tell him.)

Turkeys – 1.

Husband – 0.

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She doesn’t give up.

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Neither snow nor rain… nor frigid temperatures will stop the red squirrel from Hell.

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She was scurrying over the roof and across the deck railing…

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Trying to make her way to the seed buffet.

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But this snow was light, fluffy and thick and every time she tried to walk across it?

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She fell through.

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And yes, I laughed my rapidly expanding, thank you Covid 19 ass off.

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But she had the last laugh.

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Because the bitch has learned to tunnel.

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She tunneled for over an hour.

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Back and forth.

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Building an entire red squirrel subway line.

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This doesn’t bode well for my dream of her dying of starvation over the winter.

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Or the safety of our home’s foundation for that matter.

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If I wake up next month with her sitting at the kitchen table nibbling my Krispy Kreme’s? Things are going to get real.

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I have questions.

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My first question is why I even bother going to Wal Mart in the first place? For a store that claims to have everything, they rarely… if ever… have what I need.

Bird seed?

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Nope.

Is there a new Covid 19 shopping panic I don’t know about? Are preppers stocking their bunkers with sunflower seed and suet now? I mean really… every single time I go Wal Mart… specifically for bird seed… the shelves are bare. It’s beyond annoying.

While I was there this time I also looked for individual au gratin baking dishes, because ya know… River needs to bake some fancy fish.

Nope. Couldn’t find any.

The rude gum smacking purple haired helpful sales associate I finally tracked down and asked told me there was no such thing… but I could find the potatoes on aisle 12.

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Sheets?

Our niece wanted some flowered ones for her dorm room… but Wal Mart said no can do.

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Flowers?

Forget about it. Plain grey, beige and navy. It was the same blah color scheme of that furniture store I visited a while back. And hey, I understand trends as much as the next girl… but what happened to something for everyone?

Feeling totally discouraged, I searched for one more thing.

A simple thing. A thing surely every Wal Mart in America carries.

A sweatshirt for the husband…

But did I find one?

I think you know the answer to that.

There was one lone sweatshirt in the men’s department. A size small… in bright red.

* note to Wal Mart stockers – get with the program! It’s Maine. We need bird seed, sweatshirts and fancy fish bakers. *

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