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Because laughing beats the alternative.
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Please. I’m begging you…
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Anal probe be damned. A day out is a day out.
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Thank you Hubert.
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How about we pee on everyone who refuses to wear one? That might change some minds.
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Run, chicken!
Run!
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Don’t laugh, by January this might be a reasonable option.
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Proof positive Covid is affecting everyone.
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Because I still need to laugh.
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You think you’ve laid in enough supplies for the next Covid wave of panicked shoppers? Just imagine how much triple ply Charmin ole Rex would have needed.
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That’s a distinct possibility.
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Another possibility. At least in my neck of the woods.
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That sounds like good advice.
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Protection.
It’s not just for penises anymore…
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My first question is why I even bother going to Wal Mart in the first place? For a store that claims to have everything, they rarely… if ever… have what I need.
Bird seed?
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Nope.
Is there a new Covid 19 shopping panic I don’t know about? Are preppers stocking their bunkers with sunflower seed and suet now? I mean really… every single time I go Wal Mart… specifically for bird seed… the shelves are bare. It’s beyond annoying.
While I was there this time I also looked for individual au gratin baking dishes, because ya know… River needs to bake some fancy fish.
Nope. Couldn’t find any.
The rude gum smacking purple haired helpful sales associate I finally tracked down and asked told me there was no such thing… but I could find the potatoes on aisle 12.
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Sheets?
Our niece wanted some flowered ones for her dorm room… but Wal Mart said no can do.
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Flowers?
Forget about it. Plain grey, beige and navy. It was the same blah color scheme of that furniture store I visited a while back. And hey, I understand trends as much as the next girl… but what happened to something for everyone?
Feeling totally discouraged, I searched for one more thing.
A simple thing. A thing surely every Wal Mart in America carries.
A sweatshirt for the husband…
But did I find one?
I think you know the answer to that.
There was one lone sweatshirt in the men’s department. A size small… in bright red.
* note to Wal Mart stockers – get with the program! It’s Maine. We need bird seed, sweatshirts and fancy fish bakers. *
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I love odd, in case you haven’t been paying attention.
And on my normal route to the grocery store?
I pass this:
A bit personal as questions go, but delightfully odd.
And as my grocery store has been running low on sugar lately…
This:
Golden?
I’m fervently hoping they’re not talking about showers…. but anything that’s less processed usually gets my vote.
And adding to the growing list of FFS, the panic buyers are still at it substitute products I have to buy now?
This:
I must confess, I’m a trifle afraid of the Cousin Willie brand.
The more I stare, the more that ear of corn on the top right starts to look menacing… but I’ll be brave and soldier on.
At least it’s not as terrifying as this red pepper.
I agree.
Chocolate is always the safer bet.
Get a grip.
I made a trek to the grocery store today where I was met with the same empty ‘oh my God the sky is falling and we’ll never be able to buy dish soap again’ shelves.
Yes, dish soap.
Good grief, are we still doing this?
By all means wear a mask to protect others.
Preferably color coordinated to your shirt.
But enough with the ‘we must fill the underground bunker with every canned good in a 600 mile radius’ mentality.
The news squawks about meat shortages…. but the cases were full of every conceivable type of flesh imaginable.
But rice?
Unless you want red quinoa brown…. which I didn’t, and never will ….. no can do.
Tolerant chick pea and green lentil pasta?
No, damn it! I have no tolerance for that.
Toilet paper? Nope.
Not unless you’re supposed to use those strategically placed plastic loofahs.
Look… there’s one shaped like an ice cream cone!
That has possibilities.
The lack of eggs was definitely a new development.
When I spoke with the cashier she assured me that they do get regular deliveries and stock the shelves as they always have. No one has an explanation for the continued panic buying after all this time.
It really is getting old, as well as ridiculous.
The end really is near.
L.L. Bean is closing all U.S. retail locations beginning midnight Monday through March 29 out of precaution for the spread of coronavirus, COVID-19, L.L. Bean President and CEO Steve Smith said in a press release Monday.
Yes… the store that’s open 24/7 seven days a week, Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas…. is closing.
For those of you who don’t live in Maine? ( I’m sorry, you really should.)
Or are unfamiliar with L.L. Beans? (Where have you been, under a rock?)
THEY NEVER CLOSE!
Ever.
It’s kind of their thing.
They don’t even have locks on their doors!
Of course this is huge news up here as they employ like half the state…. so I can only surmise one thing.
We’re doomed.
The end is truly near….
It’s been nice knowing you.
I went grocery shopping this morning….
And I now know what we will all be doing during the virus apocalypse.
Baking.
Because there wasn’t a freaking bag of flour for miles.
There was beef, but no chicken.
Tissues, but no paper towels.
Ham, but no bacon.
Macaroni, but no spaghetti.
You never know what will disappear next. Although I did notice there was plenty of kale…. which makes it official.
If all that’s left on the shelves is kale? I will starve to death.
I really don’t understand this latest panic, but it’s happening… as witnessed by these pictures sent to me by a friend in Pennsylvania.
Her husband went to Wal Mart and felt like he won the lottery.
Which makes me very glad I took advantage of the sale our local grocery was running a few months ago.
Bring it Covid-19.
We’re ready!
River's world..... 