Tag Archives: fish

I’ve plugged a lot of things into my computer, but never a tuna.

.

This has got to be the most bizarre cat toy ever.

.

.

And while I have to admit plugging a fish into my computer does hold a certain attraction….

.

.

I think it’s safe to say the minute that fish started flapping Lord Dudley would run for the hills.

.


.

But damn, look how joyful it made this particular feline.

.

.

Should we further contemplate why this cat is so deliriously happy to have a vibrating tuna on his lap?

I think not.

.

.

I should have known this was coming.

.

The Barn Mahal is the gift that keeps on giving. It grows. It changes. It morphs into something I no longer recognize as a barn.

Why do I say this?

.

.

Because last week my husband took me shopping for the next addition to his man cave extraordinaire.

.

.

Yes.

He wants a refrigerator.

.

.

And because he’s a man who demands instant gratification, he wanted to go home with it that day… which we quickly discovered was impossible. Thank you Covid 19…. yet another reason you suck.

All the refrigerators pictured on this blog, every last one of the small barn appropriate models that were on the display floor?

Unavailable.

It was enough to send us to our local pub for a drink… or two, and lunch.

.

.

Which for me was a massive fried haddock sandwich with homemade onion rings. For the husband?

.

.

A tool box and the light filtering blind we bought for the window we always sit in front of. The sun shines through it something fierce and we were tired of our bartender talking to us with his hand over his eyes.

.

.

For this kindness we refused payment… support your local businesses!…but received 4 free drinks when the bill was presented.

A win win.

.

.

And then it was back to the elusive we’ll show it to you but you can’t have it, neener neener refrigerator shopping.

.

.

The absolutely only one anyone had in stock was this small, wonderfully inexpensive model.

The husband vetoed that. Not enough room for beer.

So we spent a fruitless day, visited 7 stores and ended up coming home to order this one online.

.

.

Ample beer storage will be had…

But not for a week or two.

.

I have questions.

.

My first question is why I even bother going to Wal Mart in the first place? For a store that claims to have everything, they rarely… if ever… have what I need.

Bird seed?

.

.

Nope.

Is there a new Covid 19 shopping panic I don’t know about? Are preppers stocking their bunkers with sunflower seed and suet now? I mean really… every single time I go Wal Mart… specifically for bird seed… the shelves are bare. It’s beyond annoying.

While I was there this time I also looked for individual au gratin baking dishes, because ya know… River needs to bake some fancy fish.

Nope. Couldn’t find any.

The rude gum smacking purple haired helpful sales associate I finally tracked down and asked told me there was no such thing… but I could find the potatoes on aisle 12.

.

.

Sheets?

Our niece wanted some flowered ones for her dorm room… but Wal Mart said no can do.

.

.

Flowers?

Forget about it. Plain grey, beige and navy. It was the same blah color scheme of that furniture store I visited a while back. And hey, I understand trends as much as the next girl… but what happened to something for everyone?

Feeling totally discouraged, I searched for one more thing.

A simple thing. A thing surely every Wal Mart in America carries.

A sweatshirt for the husband…

But did I find one?

I think you know the answer to that.

There was one lone sweatshirt in the men’s department. A size small… in bright red.

* note to Wal Mart stockers – get with the program! It’s Maine. We need bird seed, sweatshirts and fancy fish bakers. *

.

.

I love my town.

.

And I love what people post on its Facebook page.

.

.

Oh no.

If you see it?  Please tell it we serve a daily and nightly buffet free of charge.

.

.

I’m not exactly sure what constitutes ‘groovy’ lamb.

But I’m pretty sure this isn’t it.

.

images

.

.

Jumping orangey peach colored fish?

Thanks 2020. Like this year wasn’t weird enough.

.

.

I have to admit I’d never even heard of letterboxing before.

Sounds like a perfect Covid era activity though.

.

.

Normally I’d say friend.

But it’s 2020, for all we know that thing is radioactive.

.

.

A giant vacuum cleaner?

Well, yeah.  They want us to social distance…  so just stick the hose end into your local pub and switch her on.

Products no one needs.

 

I know we’ve all become lazy housebound sods who can’t be bothered to put on pants during the pandemic, but this?

 

 

This is a bridge too far.

The day I’m too lazy to stir my own pan you have permission to slit my throat, fill it with kale and put me out of my misery.

And while I’m all for cocktails?

 

 

 

I have absolutely no intention of sharing my margaritas with llamas.

Nope.

Not happening.

 

 

 

Oh, yeah.

Kitty Hitler looks positively thrilled.

 

 

 

Let’s ponder this for a moment.

Someone thought about, invented, pitched, found investment capital and marketed….. a hammock for fish.

Is this a great country or what!

And finally…. when your dog no longer needs his collar of shame?

 

 

Viola!

You can re-purpose it in the kitchen.

You’re welcome.

It ain’t what it used to be.

 

Going out for a seafood dinner certainly has changed in recent months.

Gone are the charming restaurants with lovely oceanfront views. Gone are the meticulously crafted cocktails and professional wait staff.

These days?

 

 

It’s a long line of cars idling at the curb waiting to cue up to a traveling roach coach.

 

 

While this would normally not be the least bit appealing, I was quite sick of cooking last week and one of the husband’s friends swore this seafood was good, plentiful and reasonably priced.

 

 

From the size of the crowds you’d think the circus had come to town.

People be desperate.

We waited 20 minutes in the car parade, 10 minutes for a girl to take our order, and another 20 minutes for the food.

50 minutes without a martini?

Is not my idea of dinner out.

 

 

To say I should have known it would be bad is trite…. but oh, so true.

For slightly over $30?

 

 

I received 2 absolutely disgusting and totally inedible crab cakes…. while the husband frantically tried to find a section of fish in the foot thick batter.

Disappointing doesn’t begin to describe that rancid grease drenched mess.

Bad seafood is always bad.

But this?

 

I knew that Flounder was watching me.

 

You just can’t make this stuff up.

 

Beware the Haddock.

 

If you know anything about DARPA, you’ll know that creating a James Bond mackerel is one of their least crazy ideas.

Recruiting fish and shrimp as espionage agents?

Why not. They’ve launched a brain computer interface and are engineering buildings that would grow and repair themselves.

After that, a Jason Bourne eel is child’s play.

 

i-spy-with-344e292214

 

I love my town…. Part 6.

 

Time for an update on the stories making the news on my town’s Facebook page.

Traffic jams are awful, no two ways about it…..

But in my town?

 

 

Untitled (2)

 

They’re not always bumper to bumper.

 

Beep-beep-im-milk-truck-go-home-bessie-youre-drunk-Cow-Meme

 

And then there was this:

 

IMG_2839

 

No, damn it! I did not.

We’ve lived here over 17 years and the only moose I’ve seen was a dead one on I-95.

Trotting right down Main Street?

 

bullwinkle-keeping-it-real_o_508246

 

Another missed opportunity.

And finally, there was this:

 

IMG_2840

 

My first thought was the zombie fish apocalypse had begun… and I started to get a little nervous.

But it turns out a bald eagle was fishing the river, dropped his sturgeon while flying and decided to munch on it in situ.

 

 

Because the thought of zombie fish taking over my blog?

Not cool.

 

For a Living Museum, it sure had a lot of dead things…..

 

Making our way inside, I was surprised by the number of dead things at the Virginia Living Museum.

And to be honest?

They didn’t look too happy about the fact either.

 

IMG_1490

 

Look at the stink eye on this owl.

Clearly he’s not pleased with that skeleton placement.

 

IMG_1410

 

The woodchuck has a piece of wood.

A bit too on point…. no?

 

IMG_1411

 

And Bambi?

Well, he looks like he’s ready to bite off a curator’s finger…. or two.

 

IMG_1406

 

Even the turtle you climb into wasn’t immune from the specter of death.

 

IMG_1408

 

But what really took the cake?

The Christmas tree….

 

IMG_1491

 

Complete with a fish skull angel topper.

 

IMG_1492

 

If that doesn’t give junior screaming holiday nightmares… nothing will.

 

IMG_1402

 

Thankfully there were live creatures as well.

 

IMG_1416

 

Though little people had to be talked into petting them.

 

IMG_1414

 

Horseshoe crabs used to wash up on the Jersey shore by the dozens when I was a kid and they always fascinated me.

 

IMG_1415

 

A more prehistoric sea creature you’re not apt to find.

 

IMG_1405

 

There were interestingly set up exhibits on multiple levels.

 

IMG_1468

 

Where the husband practiced his fish whispering again.

 

 

 

Various tanks contained the beautiful…

 

IMG_1450

 

And the bizarre.

 

IMG_1480

 

I couldn’t quite figure out this crab.

 

IMG_1478

 

Was he picking his nose… or giving me the finger?

Tough call.

 

IMG_1420

 

I was pleased to see my favorite Lionfish again….

 

IMG_1423

 

Spiky venomous fins and all.

 

IMG_1429

 

Gracie fell totally in love with a puffer and sang songs to it…..

 

 

 

Though she got yelled at by a volunteer for being a little too physical with the tank.

 

IMG_1474

 

I’m not sure why disco colored lights ruled in the jellyfish area.

 

IMG_1440

 

But we enjoyed the aquarium and it’s funky residents.

 

IMG_1488

 

There was an odd cave like area….

 

IMG_1459

 

That was very dark and next to impossible to take pictures in… so I can’t share the bats and snakes and reptiles we saw.

But I did manage a shot of the sign for my husband’s spirit animal.

 

IMG_1456

 

Yup… change the shiny objects part to rusty crap? And they’re his people.

Gracie enjoyed the interactive children’s section where all the other kids were making plates of plastic food for their parents.

My contribution to the meal she was making for her mother?

 

IMG_1443

 

What can I say?

You just can’t beat a nicely roasted rat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jennette’s Pier Part 2…. and some fish whispering.

 

By the time we reached the end of the pier and turned around? We were walking icicles from the frigid wind…

 

 

And I think the husband was starting to rethink this whole marriage thing.

 

IMG_0755

 

I kept telling him it was a beautiful, brisk, clear day….

 

IMG_0762

 

And he kept stifling his impulse to heave me over the side.

 

 

Yes, like that.

 

IMG_0761

 

Heading back to the building we followed red memorial fish…

 

IMG_0765

 

Agreed wholeheartedly with a turtle….

 

IMG_0768

 

And discovered there was a miniature aquarium inside.

 

IMG_0769

 

Fish are wonderful.

 

tumblr_p22is4EZlm1x0g0mmo1_400

 

And sometimes wonderfully strange.

 

IMG_0773

 

I always wonder what the heck they’re thinking.

 

IMG_0779

 

Here’s my husband, the Fish Whisperer, having a moment.

 

IMG_0771

 

It’s odd. He sidles up next to a tank and they flock to him….

 

IMG_0785

 

Which allows me to get some fun shots.

 

IMG_0782

 

Is it me…

 

IMG_0776

 

Or is that an awfully small head for such a large body?

 

not-big-head-tiny-hat

 

Interspecies communing over, I thought about trying to get the husband to walk the beach with me…

 

IMG_0790

 

But I was envisioning another wife with a bad idea buried under that mound of sand and called it good.