Tag Archives: shopping

Can I call a time out?

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Being in my fifties and happily married for 38 years, I admit there are days when my normal beauty routine takes a back seat to comfort, convenience and a why bother attitude. My pedicure is in need of a touch up and no, it wouldn’t hurt to retire those comfy yoga pants that are wearing a bit thin in places.

Our house is a no judgement zone but clearly my news feed is not. They’re constantly bombarding me with ridiculous articles and ads pushing the idea that I’ll never be pretty, thin or young enough.

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I have special conditioners for my hair, my face, my hands and my feet… for the love of God, I do not need one for my eyebrows.

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I fear for this generation. I really do.

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Did they really say mature women with a straight face? No one wants to see mature women in a pair of Daisy Dukes and a sleeveless top cut down to there. Don’t believe me? Go shopping at Wal Mart on a warm summer afternoon.

😳

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A new twist.

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During a recent shopping trip with a friend, we ducked into Macaroni Grill for lunch. It wasn’t our first choice, but after trying four other restaurants and being told it would be an hour wait due to short staffing…. we figured any port in the storm would do.

After a mediocre lukewarm meal that arrived late and with the wrong vegetables, the bill was presented. Now I don’t know about your part of the world, but here in Maine restaurants are having a hard time staying afloat since no one wants to work. There are no waitresses, no hostesses, no busboys, no cooks. Every where you go has the same issues. They apologize for it when you enter and we’ve come to expect the worst. What I didn’t expect was this:

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A little inflation surcharge they sneak in without telling you.

And hey, don’t get me wrong…. I understand prices are up everywhere, and naturally the increase in the cost of food has to be passed along to the consumer. But this sure seems like a strange way to do it.

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Of baseball and cheap chicken.

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Spring is back… and so is baseball!

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Though the evil empire managed to beat my beloved Sox two out of three at Yankee Stadium in the opening series. I fear for our bull pen this year, but we have good bats, so my fingers are crossed for a good year.

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I continue to be astounded by the cheap prices at the meat counter at the military commissary in Bangor.

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We’re making a once a month pilgrimage and if I buy nothing but beef, chicken and pork it’s well worth the drive.

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But finding the laundry detergent that costs me $17 at the grocery store for $9? That makes me one extremely happy shopper.

And lastly, because it’s been a while….

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Required cute photo of Lord Dudley Mountcatten.

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This inventor must have a death wish.

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As if the cat bathing kit I posted about the other day wasn’t bad enough, some moron has come up with a muzzle.

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Grooming restraint? Anti meow? I don’t know about that, but I can guarantee there’s going to be some biting in your future if you attempt to put this on our cat.

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How often do you walk your cat around the neighborhood?

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Oh look, it works in the shower as well. Not. The photos can’t be real. Those cats are either heavily sedated or long dead and stuffed.

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Amen to that!

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That is not a happy face.

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If ever a pet product was given the wrong name, this has got to be it.

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Do these dogs look happy to you?

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I’m going with no.

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The swaddling effect may calm them but if you think that’s a joyful portrait, I fear for the well being of your significant other.

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This cat is neither happy nor sleeping peacefully in his human enforced hoodie cocoon.

He is quietly and methodically planning your painful demise.

Beware.

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Ka-Ching!

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The husband and I were on our way home from the grocery store the other day when he spotted an antique store he’d never been in. I wondered how that was even possible, but hey… it happens.

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When we walked in, I turned right and he turned left. It wasn’t long before I heard him haggling with the owner so I hightailed it over before things got serious.

Old cash registers. Fancy ones I grant you….

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But with a price tag of $2,500? I gave the husband the evil eye.

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And with a $4,500 price tag on this one?

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I was positively pulling him out of the store.

It was fabulous. But not that fabulous.

😳

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More Cosmo Hell.

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You knew there was more, right?

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And the best (worst?) part is it’s even more ridiculous than the ass shaped chair.

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Yes, you read that correctly. You can now own a vibrator that will sync with your iTunes playlist.

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The mind boggles.

I have no problem syncing my cell phone and the car stereo to my favorite songs, but adult toys? No. I don’t need a dildo to reverberate Florence and the Machine or Led Zeppelin. Although Stairway to Heaven might be an appropriate tune, all things considered.

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Truer words were never spoken. I most certainly did not…

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Try it. I dare you…

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If you’ve ever been owned by a cat… and trust me, that’s the correct word placement… you’ll know they are self cleaning and do not require nor tolerate being bathed. Which is why I have to share the utterly ridiculous thing I saw on Amazon yesterday.

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I fear for the tender flesh of the unsuspecting rubes who purchase this kit. Because if you’ve ever wondered how many layers of clothing a feline can tear through? Wrapping your cat in that abomination and spraying him with water will deliver the answer in two seconds flat.

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An adventure? Sure. You can call it that….. as you try in vain to staunch the bleeding.

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Said no cat ever.

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Obediently? Proof positive these people have never met… no less lived with a cat.

The only thing this product listing had right was a question…

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No. But it should…

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That really is unfortunate.

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Remember the misfortune fortune cookies I was going to buy for the man cave bar?

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I posted about them a while back but never went through with the purchase. Which, after tracking them down on Amazon and reading the reviews, turns out was very fortunate indeed.

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Wow. Good thing I wasn’t handing these out to friends. Going home with a doggy bag is one thing, but weirdly green poo? No one wants that.

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Although it seems not everyone shares my adverse opinion of oddly hued feces.

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Yikes. When they said it turns your tongue black, they weren’t kidding.

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Things I don’t have to buy.

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I believe I literally laughed out loud when I thought about using this first product after a Maine snow storm.

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Please. This was clearly invented by someone who’s never crossed the Mason Dixon line.

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Good grief. I read an article a while back that said men found women who wear ball caps with their pony tail hanging out the back were sexy…but is this a thing now?

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Is it a wheelbarrow? A dolly? Or someone’s kitchen sink…

I’m confused.

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