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Still here.
Still useless.
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I’m sorry, but women using their brains more than men isn’t news.
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You know what we found during our home renovations? Rotted wood, dust and a broken pencil.
Boo to that.
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Oh holy hell. Now I have to worry about being attacked by a robotic labradoodle?
Stop the world, I want to get off.
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Have I mentioned how glad I am that gifted Cosmopolitan subscription ran out?
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Take a look around.
It’s not hard to figure out.
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You know the drill.
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This goes for my husband at every meal. If his food isn’t flaming hot and burning his tongue? He’s not happy.
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Finally, there’s hope for the politicians in Washington. Let’s all chip in and buy them a few…
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Who is this chick anyway?
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No one is more thankful than me that the subscription to Cosmopolitan I received as a gift last year has run out.
🥴
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The other day I found the email I’d been waiting for.
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Finally, an end to the delivery of that ridiculous piece of trash. My gift subscription was over!
But the very next day?
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I’m hoping this is the very last one. I really am.
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Of course you did.
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What the utter Hell? There’s not enough misogyny in the world, this chick wants to be spit on.
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And I thought being spit on was bad.
😳
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This makes me glad that couple doesn’t have kids.
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So basically you wanted to sleep with your step child.
Please Mr. Postman… let this be the very last issue I receive. I beg you.
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I thought my gift subscription to this horrible rag had run out but apparently there was one more month of Cosmopolitan to suffer through.
Thankfully there wasn’t much truly blog worthy content, but I will share this one snippet.
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A mystifying article of tips of which I shall spare you all but this:
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Why is this magazine still being published?
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I received an email the other day telling me my gift subscription to Cosmopolitan would be ending soon and I can’t tell you how pleased I was to hear it. Never has a present been less well received. And while I thanked my friend for the thought, I also made it abundantly clear another year of this trashy rag would not be welcome.
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Be honest men… did you even notice she was wearing a hat?
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Decades of legitimate research? If you say so…
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Even after a solid year of this crap, I’m still surprised this is what passes for a women’s magazine these days.
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Is this even possible?
On second thought, don’t answer. I don’t want to know.
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This entire publication lost me at hello. And in case you’re wondering, no… I don’t read the articles. I just flip through and photograph them for blog fodder. I didn’t meet Kristie and have no intention of ever doing so.
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You knew there was more, right?
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And the best (worst?) part is it’s even more ridiculous than the ass shaped chair.
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Yes, you read that correctly. You can now own a vibrator that will sync with your iTunes playlist.
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The mind boggles.
I have no problem syncing my cell phone and the car stereo to my favorite songs, but adult toys? No. I don’t need a dildo to reverberate Florence and the Machine or Led Zeppelin. Although Stairway to Heaven might be an appropriate tune, all things considered.
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Truer words were never spoken. I most certainly did not…
🤣
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Another issue of this ridiculous magazine arrived in the mail and as usual I found myself counting the days until the gift subscription runs out.
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Yes, that’s an ass shaped chair. Need I say more?
Because I value sharing quality journalism with my readers, I did the obligatory flip through. I quickly hit the half way point and was surprised I hadn’t seen anything too horrible. Just the normal hair and makeup tips, crazy fashion trends and an answer to the ‘what should I do with all those spare keys’ question.
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Ouch!
And just when I thought this month’s Cosmo wouldn’t go there, it did.
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I beg to differ, but to each their own.
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Yeah. That’s not happening at Casa River anytime soon… but if you’re interested, here are some helpful hints.
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I wish I could say this was the worst thing I saw in the April edition….
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This month’s gift subscription came in the mail today.
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For which I’m still questioning my girlfriend’s sanity.
At first glance I thought I might be able to skip blogging about the silly rag this time around, but that ended on page 58.
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I’ve never been on a cruise…. but if I ever decide to take one? I can guarantee you it won’t be because I want to bang strangers in front of my husband.
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I have to admit these tips were extremely disappointing. Somehow I expected more than “don’t wear underwear” and “don’t park on a hill”. Those are pretty basic.
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It amazes me that people pay money for this trash.
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Good grief, no. Not that.
I’m talking about this time of the month:
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The oh shit, hasn’t that gift subscription expired yet time of the month.
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And as usual, the articles are of the highest journalistic integrity.
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Doesn’t seem like such a glamorous job now does it.
The latest trend in eye makeup is now on my things I never need to try because they’re stupid list.
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And because it’s apparently mandatory in every issue..
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Sex.
And while I’m decidedly pro sex, I think these helpful hints leave a lot to be desired.
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I can pretty much guarantee I want to wank your knob are six words that will never be uttered in our bedroom.
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No.
Mr. Cuddles will never be put in a compromising position. Especially that one.
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That’s just wrong.
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Gather round boys and girls…. September’s Cosmo, aka the worst gift subscription ever, is here.
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On first glance I thought maybe, just maybe…. I could flip through it without being stunned this month.
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Yeah.
No such luck. And as I’ve said before, I’m no prude… but the in your face sexual content of this magazine never fails to surprise me.
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Greatest sex position. Wouldn’t that be a personal choice?
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Not according to Cosmopolitan.
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And… apologies, but I’m not going to discuss the Venus butterfly technique. Cosmo did, so if you’re curious, get your own friend to give you a year’s worth of this trash.
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River's world..... 