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You know I’m never going to run out of these things… right?
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This will be a short post because there’s only one possible way to ruin a holiday solely devoted to eating until you burst…
My four words?
We’re out of alcohol.
I dare you to top that.
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Because if you’re here, you have nothing better to do anyway.
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I’ll start.
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Damn it…. no, I’m not. Disappointing readers is what I do best. Take that away from me and this whole blogging thing falls apart.
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Were they eavesdropping on my Scrabble games with the husband? How disturbing.
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Did I time travel and not know it? Now that’s disappointing.
Your turn.
What does your keyboard think you’re sorry for?
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I wish I had a more interesting entry for this game.
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But I was texting with the husband’s young niece…. the one we bought a car for last year.
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Not that funny. But as far as tee shirt slogans go…. it’s good advice.
What does your shirt say?
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There’s nothing I like more than having friends over for dinner and drinks and games.
That hasn’t happened for quite some time, because, ya know…. global plague. But it hasn’t stopped me from finding fun things in anticipation of normalcy’s return.
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House of Carbs?
It’s like they know me already.
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Nine drunk bitches?
Damn, I need to check for hidden cameras.
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Fifty shades of gravy?
That describes my Covid lockdown protocol to a T.
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While I’ve been known to enjoy some oddly flavored beer …
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That’s a hearty no from me. Pretzels belong in a bowl on the bar… to make you thirsty for more beer… not in the bottle you’re drinking. Blech!
For the first time in over a year, I lost a game of Scrabble to my husband. But in my defense?
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Even Noah Webster would have a hard time with those letters.
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We had a nice rain storm pass through recently so the husband and I took to the barn porch with adult beverages. He was interested to see if his leaky gutter repair worked ( it did ) and if his strategically placed rock ( which I told him was too small ) would protect the lawn from a rain induced pothole. ( it partially did )
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And in case you’re wanting a piece of jewelry to commemorate the shit show of the last year?
I have just the thing.
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You’re welcome.
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Warning:
This might be a little off color for some. ( But damn, I laughed!)
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See?
Off color.
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Admit it. You pictured one too….
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And who can blame her?
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Wow, indeed.
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My male readers are cringing right now.
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I tend to agree. That was an award worthy entry.
And because you know I have to, here are my contributions:
The Wizard of Foreskin. ( Bet Dorothy didn’t see that coming )
The Best Years of Our Foreskin. ( Is there an expiration date? )
Star Wars Episode V – The Foreskin Strikes Back. ( When your light saber is on the fritz )
Snow White and the Seven Foreskins. ( Now there’s a mental image no one needs )
(With apologies to Jimmy Stewart) It’s a Wonderful Foreskin.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Foreskin. ( I’m doubting they see much sunshine )
No Country for Old Foreskin ( We are a youth based society )
All the President’s Foreskin ( I refuse to comment on that one! )
Night of the Living Foreskin ( Nice to see some zombie parts are still operational )
Rebel Without a Foreskin ( Sorry James )
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Foreskin ( Golden ticket my ass )
I’m afraid to say I could go on like that forever. It’s addicting.
But it’s your turn. Please add to the list.
😈
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Interesting. The 6th picture on my phone takes us back to July of 2013 when the husband rescued a baby robin from the middle of our road.
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He lived with us for almost a month and we named him Little Cheeper. As you can see he was also a little pooper.
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He was a sweet little guy and I fattened him up with worms, canned dogged food and fruit. I hand trained him, and before long he was flying all over the house.
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It was tempting to keep him as a pet…
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But in the end I couldn’t, and we let him fly free in our backyard.
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But back to the game…
Little Cheeper killing me?
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Nah, I’m not buying it.
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You know I’m never going to run out of these … right?
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Let’s see what my phone thinks I am.
I’m a little bit disturbing.
Well, I can’t argue with that.
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I’m a good bit too short.
At barely 5’4, I can’t argue with that either.
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I’m a little guy in the backyard.
Now it’s confusing me with the woodchucks so I’ll quit while I’m ahead.
What does your phone think you are…?
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After I polished off another bottle of wine, we assembled at the picnic table to play a pseudo gambling dice game.
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It’s called Left Right Center, is ridiculously easy to play and will cost you $3 a game.
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I missed the first game, but enjoyed the second.
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Who won?
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Let’s just say my pockets were $39 fuller than when I arrived.
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Flush with victory, I strolled down to meet the goats and raised my glass in greeting.
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They’re such cuties.
And quite the talkers….
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Have you scratched a goat today?
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I highly recommend it.
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No, I haven’t run out of these yet.
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Hmm… Black Haddock has possibilities.
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And it’s better than yesterday’s… Blue HoHo.
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That’s easy….
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I know it’s a staple of childhood sandwiches and a good source of protein as an adult, but I completely despise the stuff. The mere smell of it makes me nauseated. I don’t care if you cover it in chocolate… I’m not eating it.
Nope.
Uh uh.
Never.
And if my husband comes at me with that nasty nut breath? I’m not kissing him either.
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River's world..... 