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You know I’m never going to run out of these … right?
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Let’s see what my phone thinks I am.
I’m a little bit disturbing.
Well, I can’t argue with that.
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I’m a good bit too short.
At barely 5’4, I can’t argue with that either.
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I’m a little guy in the backyard.
Now it’s confusing me with the woodchucks so I’ll quit while I’m ahead.
What does your phone think you are…?
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After I polished off another bottle of wine, we assembled at the picnic table to play a pseudo gambling dice game.
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It’s called Left Right Center, is ridiculously easy to play and will cost you $3 a game.
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I missed the first game, but enjoyed the second.
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Who won?
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Let’s just say my pockets were $39 fuller than when I arrived.
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Flush with victory, I strolled down to meet the goats and raised my glass in greeting.
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They’re such cuties.
And quite the talkers….
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Have you scratched a goat today?
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I highly recommend it.
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No, I haven’t run out of these yet.
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Hmm… Black Haddock has possibilities.
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And it’s better than yesterday’s… Blue HoHo.
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That’s easy….
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I know it’s a staple of childhood sandwiches and a good source of protein as an adult, but I completely despise the stuff. The mere smell of it makes me nauseated. I don’t care if you cover it in chocolate… I’m not eating it.
Nope.
Uh uh.
Never.
And if my husband comes at me with that nasty nut breath? I’m not kissing him either.
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Go ahead. You know you want to…
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Well, crap.
Looks like I won’t be running out of Brussels sprouts any time soon. And while I’m one of the few people who actually like them..
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Calm down sprouts, I’m on your side. But a lifetime supply is probably more than even I need.
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Or a Dik Dik as the case may be.
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Ever since I bought Poetry for Neanderthals from Facebook ( which we still haven’t played because Covid has killed game night with friends ) I’ve been getting ads. Some are interesting, some are ridiculous. I think this one falls into the latter category.
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And while I’m sure having a handful of Slippery Dicks can be delightful, I think I’m probably going to pass on this one.
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I’d like to think my sense of humor is a tad more advanced.
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Though I am blogging about this… so the point might be moot.
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Ready?
Let’s play!
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And for the sake of equality, let’s add ‘or penis’ to the instructions.
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Yes, I’m afraid we are. Here, I’ll go first.
The name of my vagina is…. Homeland.
Which you have to admit is pretty damn spectacular.
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A little bit of this and that for your reading pleasure.
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I really don’t want crabs, but human sized rubber claws are mighty tempting.
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I have to admit I had no idea what the term whisker biscuit meant.
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Well, okay then….
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Underboob funk?
Please, if you can spread this ridiculous product all over your body? How about spreading those ‘ly’ adverbs through your ad copy as well.
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That’s pretty much my take on it. And while I still love Seuss and the crazy creatures of my childhood, if you do your research and check out some of his racist drawings? You wouldn’t want children exposed to them either. It’s not erasing history, it’s learning not to repeat it.
And if that’s too serious a note to end on, here’s one more chuckle.
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Ponder that image for the rest of the day.
🤣
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My weekly skunking of the husband at Scrabble in the Barn Mahal continues. And now? Even the tiles are getting in on the fun…
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Yes, those were really the letters I drew. And it’s pretty much what I did to the husband in game number one.
Not to be out done, our second game’s tiles had their say as well.
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My last four letters said it all.
Sorry, dear. I only do what the tiles tell me…
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Since skunking my husband at Scrabble has become a weekly pastime… I decided to up our game.
Literally.
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Bigger tiles for the where the hell did I leave my reading glasses now? visually challenged due to encroaching decrepitude crowd.
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And a much bigger, fancier, wooden, swiveling board with raised ridges to keep the letters in place.
How much bigger?
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Well, the box said giant and that’s a pretty apt description.
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So far we’re loving it.
But I’m afraid it’s going to have to be a permanent decorative fixture… because if you think the board is big, you should see the friggin’ enormous box it came in.
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Is it wrong that I’m taking great pleasure from whipping my other half in our weekly Scrabble games in the Barn Mahal?
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Round after round.
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Day after day.
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Do I chortle every time it happens? Yes.
But come on… he skunks me at pool. He murders me at darts. I don’t think I’ve ever beaten him at Monopoly, Risk or chess. But when it comes to contests of trivia or anything word related?
I rule.
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And yes, I take perverse pleasure in the victories.
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River's world..... 