I’m hardly what anyone would call fashion savvy these days. When I was young and thin? Sure. But now, since I’m… curvy, voluptuous, fluffy, …. not, Maine has had her way with me and my wardrobe mainly consists of jeans and boots for winter, tee shirts and sandals for summer. The older I get the more I dress for comfort, but that hasn’t stopped me from glancing at the occasional clothing site from time to time.
It’s hard to believe these are the most loved styles, but what do I know? I’m from Maine where dressing up consists of ironing your flannel.
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This looks a bit too much like a lampshade for my taste, but okay.
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The next time I’m feeling the urge to step out with Budweiser Clydesdale feathered fetlocks… these will be my go to jeans.
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A modern spin on the classic black cocktail dress. For those nights you feel like channeling both Mrs. Maisel and a Brontosaurus.
As we’ve previously established, my small rural Maine town has a sense of humor. This was on full display today when I saw an offer of services on the town’s Facebook page.
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While I would have appreciated a good Mother in Law trap back in the day, the picture in this post will probably give me nightmares of the inevitable beaver uprising for weeks to come.
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While we had an extremely mild winter with very little snow this year, we did have rain. And ice. And more rain. Which lead to rapid melting, soft earth, mud and occasional washouts. Imagine driving over this section of road?
Yikes.
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Sadly, this is the only bunny I’ve ever seen in our town.
I like new tech. My husband? Not so much. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that my husband uses his cell phone as … don’t faint… an actual phone. You know, to speak with people like we did in the old days before texting was invented and we didn’t have to.
His phone was old. Moldy green cheese old. It was an iPhone 4 he bought in 2010… we’re talking the tech equivalent of a dinosaur fossil. It didn’t matter that it couldn’t be updated, that the battery had to be charged every few hours, that the home button stuck more often than not or that the display was blurry and dark. He liked it because he was used to it and fears new technology in general. No matter how many times times I encouraged him to trade it, he refused.
Until last week when we got a letter from Verizon Wireless saying they’ll be switching to a 5G network on December 31rst and my husband’s beloved antiquated phone will cease to exist. Kaput. Dead. Bye bye. Needless to say the other half wasn’t pleased and railed against the injustice of obsolete tech for hours on end.
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Cool typewriter aside, Verizon was doing just that, so I dragged my sputtering husband to the Verizon store the next day to upgrade his phone before the rush caused a stock shortage. And believe me, he sputtered. He sputtered on the drive there, he sputtered to the other customers, he sputtered to the sales associate, he sputtered to the check out girl and he sputtered on the drive home. Why he was sputtering when we managed to snag a great deal I’m sure I don’t know. The man just likes to sputter.
His old iPhone was worth exactly nothing, but they gave him a $700 credit, with which he bought the new iPhone 13 …. price tag $800. $100 for a new phone? Sweet! And because the deal was so good? I traded in my XR on the 13 Pro Max and only paid $200 for a $1,300 phone. Even sweeter! And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better? I learned our bill will be $24 less a month.
Score!
Does the husband like his new phone? After an hour of very patient instruction from yours truly, he wouldn’t give me the satisfaction… but I think he loves it. And I hope that’s true, because Lord knows he’ll probably keep it until 2034.
And after spending four hours this morning cooking lasagna, then serving it and the salad to the crew, I took a hard cider break before I ferried it all back in the house to do dishes.
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I sat, sipped and watched the mild mannered old widower school the group with a twinkle in his eye. Game after game, no matter who he teamed with, it was a rout.
And no amount of freshly tapped beer helped.
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The other three couldn’t seem to get out of their own way.
In Facebook’s ongoing quest to entice me to buy something, I give you this week’s selections.
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I’ve been known to have a random cocktail from time to time. On special occasions. Like Tuesdays. But what I won’t be having again is Absinthe. It’s never been my liquor of choice but a few years ago on a bar crawl vacation in Vermont, we stumbled into a prohibition style den of iniquity pub. Do I remember the name of the establishment or the town in which it resided? No. Because after the devil bartender served me 3 pretty green but oh so deadly Absinthe concoctions I was lucky to remember my own name. Nice try Facebook, but I’ll pass.
Remember how a few of the past product recommendations reminded me of things found in a sado-masochist’s closet… even though they weren’t?
Well, this week it’s a little harder to find the innocent reason for your purchase. Try mountain climbing in this…
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And finally there’s something really ridiculous that proves Facebook isn’t paying close enough attention. We have a man cave… with a full bar.
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A bounce house Irish pub would just be a squirrel attracting redundancy.
We had dinner plans with friends the night of my husband’s birthday, but on the way home from the antique barn we stopped at King Eider’s Pub in the coastal town of Damariscotta.
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It’s a quirky old place famous for their crab cakes and liberal pours.
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One Winter Paloma in, I agreed whole heartedly. It may have been pink, but it tasted like straight tequila. Our plan was just to duck in for a quick appetizer that would hold us till dinner. And then my husband ordered the mussels.
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Cooked in white wine, butter and garlic… the picture isn’t a good representation of quantity. The husband ate. And ate. And ate. And didn’t seem to put a dent in the bowl.
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On his second bowl of empty shells he decided to count exactly how many mussels he received for $16.99. Care to hazard a guess?
30? 40?
How about 72. We were both dumb founded. Granted, this time of year they’re small. But when’s the last time you had that much seafood for under $20.
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It made my delicious but small and similarly priced crab cakes seem positively non existent.
And in answer to your question, yes. The husband ate every single last mussel in the bowl… though it took him nearly an hour. It was at this point the man next to us at the bar struck up a conversation and bought us a round… that to be honest, we didn’t want but also didn’t refuse. While chatting he told us his favorite movie, The Shawshank Redemption, was filmed right down the road from his home. And considering it was actually filmed in Mansfield, Ohio I’d say he either had one very large lawn or an overactive imagination. Bar stories, ya gotta love ‘em.
We floated out of the pub stuffed with seafood, feeling no pain and saw this sign on the way to the parking lot.
You know there’s only one answer to the question, “ what do you want to do to celebrate?”
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Antiquing of course.
This time around it was the semi famous, at least in Maine… Elmers Barn. A ramshackle place that looks small from the front but feels like it’s 10 football fields deep once you’re inside.
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In other words, husband heaven.
And because technically it was a barn at one time….
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This lovely fellow greeted us upon arrival.
My husband turned 75 that day and to be honest, for the last few years he’s been feeling his age. The combination of a global plague, retirement, health issues, multiple deaths of friends and family, and the general weariness of aches and pains that are more prevalent when you spend considerable time on this side of the dirt have finally caught up to him. This winter the twinkle in his eye has faded and there’s not much spring in his step. Once the weather turns and he’s able to soak up some sun and fresh air I’m sure he’ll perk back up… but for now all I could offer was a day sifting and sorting through piles ofuseless crap untold treasure and a promise he could buy whatever he wanted without nary an eye roll from me.
Oh, the sacrifices I make for love.
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This was one of the first things we saw when we walked in and I fervently hoped he wouldn’t want to buy it. Dolls in general creep me out, but dolls with dead eyes who look ready to consume your soul in one easy gulp?
No. Thank. You.
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Needless to say we spent hours in this store and saw our share of strange things. Vintage snow sled with training wheels?
Check!
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Taxidermy with stylish chapeaux?
Check!
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I lost the husband in the aptly named ‘tool room’ for a long period of time, but surprisingly after spending half the day in a creaky old barn that promised 3 floors of odd and unusual…. there were very few items that could be described as either. Quite disappointing, that.
And though I fully expected to strain my eyes in a valiant attempt to stop them rolling… my beloved only made one small five dollar purchase that day.
It never ceases to amaze me what’s currently popular on Amazon.
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Is there really a plethora of suburban housewives eager to present a Jello brain at their next dinner party? I have my doubts, but whatever.
Being retired military, my husband and I try to take advantage of all the benefits that provides. For years we bought cheaper, tax free groceries at the commissary…. until George W. Bush closed our local base. There was a huge outcry from retirees in our area and talk of shuttering the base but keeping the commissary open. Sadly that didn’t happen, and now the nearest base is over two hours away. A four and a half hour round trip for groceries seems extreme but with the prices of everything going sky high, we decided to take a day and check it out.
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Perdue boneless skinless chicken breasts for under $3.00? I’ve been paying close to $9.00! Needless to say I filled a cart and then some. Even using half a tank of gas I still saved mucho dinero. Looks like we’ll have to make a monthly pilgrimage from now on.
If you’re on Facebook you’re familiar with the “memories” that pop up on your feed. I don’t normally pay much attention… ten years ago today I posted a picture of a woodchuck? Shocking! Please alert the press. But the other day this picture gave me pause..
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Not because we were younger and thinner.. although, damn. I really do miss thin… but because when I took a closer look, I realized four of the 13 family members pictured have passed. My husband’s brother, brother in law, mother, and aunt. Being an only child of an only child, my list of relatives is ridiculously small. I’ve lost both parents so I’m pretty much done. But the husband is one of nine from one of six, so the chances of someone missing from his side of the family photos increases exponentially.
River's world..... 