Miscellaneous silliness

July 21, 2022 Rivergirl 32 Comments

Because we all need a little more silly in our lives.

I’ve had my share of asshole plants. Matter of fact, I’m looking at one right now.

See it up there taunting me? Scraggly, half dead. Yellow and brown tipped leaves so I don’t know if it has too much water or not enough. What a jerk. And talk about a misnomer. It’s called a Philippine money tree but hasn’t dropped a single 20 dollar bill on me in the 5 years he’s lived here… the rat bastard.

Umm… far be it for me to argue with granny, but that doesn’t look like a lady to me. Check your ad copy nana. He doesn’t need a bra as much as a girdle.

Unexpected? How hard is it to chop celery for heavens sake.

When they’re right, they’re right.

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Stone garden border project… day 2, disagreement 2.

July 21, 2022 Rivergirl 41 Comments

I was helping.

In so far as the husband would let me help… with what was my idea to begin with. That’s usually how things go at Casa River. I want to do something and come up with a plan… then the husband gets involved and does it completely his way.

Granted he knows more about stone wall building… but I had a vision ya know?

I like weird looking rocks, like this bird’s head skeleton I placed in the corner ….

And these two that look like ham steaks. I wanted them prominently placed to give the border some quirk and character.

So of course the husband moved all three and buried them. When I said something? He got ticked off and told me I can let him build it or hire someone else to do exactly what I want… and believe me that’s tempting.

I love my husband. I do. He’s a wonderful man. But it would be nice if we could a work project together… in harmony, like we used to. Whether it’s male menopause, adjusting to retired life or basic old man crankiness .. lately he tests my patience to the point where I just have to walk away. Why must every difference of opinion turn into a fight? It’s exhausting.

Do you work well with your spouse/significant other. Or do you have to take a hike as well?

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The one where His Lordship takes a dirt bath, battles a peony and checks out the man cave.

July 20, 2022 Rivergirl 18 Comments

I think he does it just to aggravate me.

On every walk, he will find every patch of dirt.

And roll until he and his harness are filthy. The spot underneath the bird feeders that’s mixed with empty seed husks and poo is a favorite.

And when you can’t find a woodchuck to play with? Peonies have to do.

Hard to believe in the year since we adopted his Lordship, he’s never made it out to the man cave. There’s something about the barn which always gives him pause. Oh, he’ll walk around it and try to crawl underneath it.. but it took me a good 9 months to get him comfortable sitting on the porch. Then yesterday out of nowhere he scratched on the door….

And viola!

A whole new area to explore.

I thought he’d enjoy it, but before long he was whining and pawing at the windows to get out.

He’s a strange little dude our Dudley.

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News you can’t use.

July 20, 2022 Rivergirl 23 Comments

Because the headlines just keep on coming.

Great. Like we don’t have enough earth born pathogens…

If there’s a better name for a female aardvark than Princess Dirt Pig, I don’t know what it is.

I adore this idea!

Though it may mean longer waits for the bathroom at dinner parties.

I have to disagree with this one. My MIL aged at a normal rate…

Holy crap, I hope so! In their case, total annihilation can’t come soon enough.

No pun intended.

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Breakfast with siblings.

July 19, 2022 Rivergirl 9 Comments

Morning brings the baby chucks in a group.

They squabble a bit now and then but as long as the apples and carrots are plentiful they usually munch side by side.

Momma has been leaving them alone more often now.

It won’t be long before she boots them out of the den altogether.

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A recipe, a spoiled cat and something worse than dishwater beer.

July 19, 2022 Rivergirl 30 Comments

While I’m usually not a recipe poster, my husband raved about this one after the first bite… and he’s not a man for random compliments. I’ve been cooking for him for 38 years and while I’m no Julia Child, I can hold my own in the kitchen. But when I find a quick and easy recipe? I have to share.

This works just as well with haddock, as long as the pieces are thick.

Spoiled cat? No. What gave you that idea…

Proof positive there is something worse than dishwater beer.

🤢

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In case you haven’t seen the movie….

July 18, 2022 Rivergirl 22 Comments

I admit it, the original Top Gun has always been a guilty pleasure of mine.

The beach volleyball scene? Come on…. it’s a veritable beefcake cinematic masterpiece.

So when the sequel was released? I was on it like white on rice.

Yes, Tom Cruise is an ass in real life… but as cocksure Pete Mitchell he rocks.

The action sequences were stunning, the emotional scenes with a very ill and physically changed Val Kilmer? Tender and emotionally fraught.

But it’s the Lady Gaga theme song that’s been sticking in my head.

Love her or hate her, ya gotta admit it she brings it.

( And if you hate her? Please unfriend me, I can’t take that kind of negativity. 😉)

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Stone garden border project… day 1, disagreement 1.

July 18, 2022 Rivergirl 20 Comments

Work began on the perennial bed stone border recently… though not without incident.

The existing bed measured 10×20… and when I first discussed the project with my husband I told him I wanted to expand it by at least 4 feet due to the apple tree that took up residence a decade ago. He heard me, but clearly didn’t care.

Because when I looked outside the other day and saw him staking off level lines at the edge of the dirt… I said something.

Big mistake.

Huge.

He heatedly explained the stone needed to be laid on flat earth and if I wanted him to do it, they would be laid inside the bed border. Period. End of discussion. Numerous hours of anger to follow.

Ladies? Never doubt the existence of male menopausal mood swings. They’re real.

His way means I lose a good foot on every side, making my garden bed 4 foot smaller instead of larger. Not what I wanted. Not what I’d planned.

But apparently what I’m getting.

It’s hard to argue when I’m clearly not the one doing the majority of work. And I’m sure it will be lovely when completed…

But it would be nice if just once, we could come to an agreement without acrimony.

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In which we discover how truly anal I am.

July 18, 2022 Rivergirl 38 Comments

I have a large collection of vintage vinyl albums. It used to number close to 800, but I made the mistake of storing a large portion of them in my MIL’s attic years ago between moves and a leaky roof cut my collection in half. Today, after culling… it’s slightly over 350, and though they’ve been housed in plastic crates for the past 20 years, I recently decided they should be relocated to the man cave in vintage wooden beer or whiskey crates.

Did I mention my albums are organized alphabetically?

The Dewar’s scotch crate that I liberated from the husband’s stash (because if he’s not going to give it to the pub, he can give it to me) has A-B.

When I pick up a few replacements here and there at flea markets?

Adjustments must be made.

Pickwick Ale?

C, D, E and F.

Those were the only two alcohol related crates my husband had in his ~~crap~~ treasure filled cellar, so I guess I’ll have to go antique shopping for G through Z.

😉

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