The husband’s birthday was this month and we’d made reservations at a lovely waterfront bistro. But like all well laid plans, an extra long and painful afternoon appointment with the dentist blew them out of the water.
Getting home 2 hours later than scheduled and being shot so full of Novocain he could barely close his mouth, made us cancel the reservations and slip into what turned out to be a sub par local Chinese buffet instead.
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I had to laugh though.
The food might not have great, but there was someone’s leftover happy birthday streamer on the ceiling.
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🤣
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Is it better for the cat?
And if so, why….
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Lists. They’re everywhere these days. The top ten diners in your state. The top ten smells in the world. The top ten things people should have learned in school but didn’t. The top ten best Friday night funkin mods. (Yes, they’re all real lists, though I have no idea what the last one even means)
Who makes them, and who really cares? This particular idiot list said Portland Maine had some of the best beaches and guess what? It actually doesn’t have any.
There may be drawbacks to living in the country…slow internet speed, long rides to the grocery stores and lack of pizza delivery… but when you wake up to mornings like this?
Every once in a while I check my email and get a surprise.
Not the good…hear from an old friend, winning lottery ticket… kind of surprise, no.
But something surprising all the same.
Who sent it? I neither know, nor care to find out.
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This guy performed an African elongation ritual and got ridiculous results.
Him and his hot wife went to Kenya a couple of years ago only to discover that native plants gave every local humongous penises.
The Maasai tribe, renowned in the scientific community for their unique 16 inches dongs and their well protected elongation method, gave this dude an extra 3 inches in the first few weeks after. No wonder Porn stars are being put to shame.
Impressed by the results, he became friends with a few of the elders of the tribe and managed to learn their secrets while performing the ritual a couple extra times, with the same incredible results.
He stopped at 9,2 inches.
Just be responsible with this delicate info.
This ritual has created some monsters since it has been reproduced – around 112,000 to be more precise.
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After reading it, laughing about it and deciding to post it… I searched Google images for an appropriate photo of the aforementioned Maasai tribes people to accompany my blog.
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Does the email content explain why this person is happily jumping for joy?
The husband and I were on our way home from a sad visit with his elderly uncle the other day when he surprised me with the offer to stop at one of my favorite watering holes.
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I say it was a surprise because while I love The Blind Pig and their creative pours, hubby isn’t a fan of their food and never wants to visit.
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Empty.. since it was the middle of the afternoon in the middle of the week, I dove right in.
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First up? A blackberry vanilla martini.
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The speed at which it disappeared literally raised my husband’s eyebrows.
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And while we weren’t there for a meal we did order a few nibbles. Barbecue wings for the husband, which he enjoyed despite his misgivings about the kitchen.
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And a massive plate of what turned out to be fabulously fresh and juicy chicken fingers for moi. I could only get halfway through the plate but they were so good they even made my other half agree he may have to reverse his ban on eating here.
Oh, cocktail #2?
A crisp and delightful pear mojito.
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Corn star.
Lawyers, guns and money.
Even the drink list will make you smile.
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While I could have happily sat there and drank all day, my final libation was a strawberry rhubarb margarita. Tasty, but honestly a bit too sweet for me.
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Pardon their typo at the end. With the quality of cocktails, I’m surprised the typist made it that far without errors.
River's world..... 