All posts by Rivergirl

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Recycling can hurt.

19 Comments

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I try to be a good human. I reuse, I recycle and I dispose of things the legal, environmentally friendly way.

Maine is a beautiful state and we do all we can to keep it that way, including picking up trash on the side of the road. It disgusts me the amount of crap people will throw in the woods or a ditch. Tires, construction debris, carpet, bicycles, small appliances… it’s ridiculous.

So being the good global citizens we are, we recently picked up a small window unit air conditioner, loaded it in the truck and drove to a waste management site.

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Where we discovered the reason people throw things on the side of the road. If you want to encourage the public to do the right thing? I suggest making it a little more affordable.

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There’s always a catch.

19 Comments

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When you’re searching for a new home, there are no perfect houses. Some don’t have enough closets. Some have hot pink bathtubs. Some are in Alabama. ( A joke. No hate mail necessary. Roll Tide! )

Here’s one in a very nice section of Virginia. Homes of this size in that area go for a million plus… but it just sold for $200,000 less. And the reason wasn’t a lack of a wood burning fireplace.

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Small garage? You can enlarge it.

Out of date kitchen? You can remodel it.

But people living in the basement? That’s got to be a hard spin for even the most talented of realtors.

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Someone is living in your basement for three years, brings a friend… and you couldn’t be bothered to kick them out?

I can’t even imagine this scenario.

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Make up your mind.

30 Comments

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It’s been a while since I checked my spam folder and man, was it ever full. It never ceases to amaze me why people waste their time leaving these comments. What’s the end game? None of the companies exist and no one pays the least bit of attention, so what do they hope to gain.

Along with an alarmingly large number of extremely crude sexual content filled missives that would have made Hugh Hefner blush, I received this:

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Motorhome Collision Repair Near Me

Spam

Hello there! This post could not be written any better! Going through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept talking about this. I am going to send this post to him. Fairly certain he’ll have a great read. Thanks for sharing!

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How nice. An appreciative fan. Though why this man’s roommate would continually talk about my fat woodchuck post is anyone’s guess.

Right after that, I found this:

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Motorhome Collision Repair Near Me

Spam

Next time I read a blog, Hopefully it does not disappoint me just as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I truly believed you would have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could possibly fix if you were not too busy searching for attention.

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I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but the speed at which my new motorhome collision repair fan turned on me was shocking.

🤣

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News you can’t use.

25 Comments

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Because I like to keep my readers well informed. .

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This is good news. Next time the husband ignores me while watching some ludicrous old western on tv? I’m going outside to talk to the ‘shrooms.

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For the love of God, why? Who would buy such a thing…

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You heard it folks, move fast.

Like you have to after each and every time you eat at McDonalds.

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I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say if you have a 36 foot yacht? You’re probably not that worried about work in the first place.

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Yes, from the people who brought you How To Bake A Potato … the sequel.

Wash sweet potato.

Pierce sweet potato.

Bake sweet potato.

Riveting stuff… no?

🥴

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Can I call a time out?

23 Comments

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Being in my fifties and happily married for 38 years, I admit there are days when my normal beauty routine takes a back seat to comfort, convenience and a why bother attitude. My pedicure is in need of a touch up and no, it wouldn’t hurt to retire those comfy yoga pants that are wearing a bit thin in places.

Our house is a no judgement zone but clearly my news feed is not. They’re constantly bombarding me with ridiculous articles and ads pushing the idea that I’ll never be pretty, thin or young enough.

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I have special conditioners for my hair, my face, my hands and my feet… for the love of God, I do not need one for my eyebrows.

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I fear for this generation. I really do.

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Did they really say mature women with a straight face? No one wants to see mature women in a pair of Daisy Dukes and a sleeveless top cut down to there. Don’t believe me? Go shopping at Wal Mart on a warm summer afternoon.

😳

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Be careful what you wish for.

46 Comments

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It’s long been a dream of mine to see … no, not Istanbul or Rome, I’m a simple girl. I only want to see the cellar floor again.

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When we moved into this house 20 years ago we had a gloriously empty 2,000 square foot basement… and I had visions of carefully organized storage shelves so our closets would never burst open again. Sadly this never came to fruition because my husband filled it to the brim with crap, clutter, things he didn’t need and will never use stuff in no time flat. And when I say filled, I mean up to the rafters with barely a path from front to rear. I haven’t seen the floor in years.

So when the husband retired a few months ago and had lots of spare time on his hands, I did what any thoughtful wife would do and subtly suggested now would be a good time to go through his mess, useless junk, rubble treasure once and for all.

But as my title says, I should have been careful what I wished for. Because as I suggested, my husband started sifting though his massive piles of detritus below ground.

The problem is…. it all began to float upstairs.

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Now? There’s a World War II poster/map on my den reading chair.

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There are railroad cars on my kitchen counter.

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There are boxes, bags and assorted dreck on my office floor.

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As well as stamps and a broken clock on my auxiliary desk. So basically, it’s everywhere… and I fear for the future of our living space.

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Because if all that makes it’s way upstairs? I may end up sleeping on that newly cleared cellar floor.

🥴

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A new twist.

29 Comments

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During a recent shopping trip with a friend, we ducked into Macaroni Grill for lunch. It wasn’t our first choice, but after trying four other restaurants and being told it would be an hour wait due to short staffing…. we figured any port in the storm would do.

After a mediocre lukewarm meal that arrived late and with the wrong vegetables, the bill was presented. Now I don’t know about your part of the world, but here in Maine restaurants are having a hard time staying afloat since no one wants to work. There are no waitresses, no hostesses, no busboys, no cooks. Every where you go has the same issues. They apologize for it when you enter and we’ve come to expect the worst. What I didn’t expect was this:

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A little inflation surcharge they sneak in without telling you.

And hey, don’t get me wrong…. I understand prices are up everywhere, and naturally the increase in the cost of food has to be passed along to the consumer. But this sure seems like a strange way to do it.

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Let’s play.

48 Comments

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This is an easy one for me….. it’s Hellmann’s mayonnaise hands down.

And while I never buy generic brands if I can help it, the occasional Covid shortages have forced me to embrace no name ketchup and the grocery store’s line of honey mustard when there’s no other choice. But mayonnaise? Nope. Never. Not happening. If I can’t have Hellmann’s I’ll do without. Truly, no other brand will do. And if you mention that ghastly creation from Kraft that purports to be miraculous? I will seriously have to contemplate unfriending you.

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So how about you…. what won’t you buy generic?

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What’s in a name?

33 Comments

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As you know, it was me who named the current descendant of an Egyptian God in residence at Casa River.

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I chose ‘Lord Dudley Mountcatten’ as he seemed quite regal, even from day one. But I’ve taken nothing but flak from my husband who thinks it’s a ridiculous moniker and refuses to use it. Every time I introduce his Lordship to a friend? The husband snorts, informs our friend he had nothing to do with the weird name and says ,”I call him Buddy”.

And while my other half has given me a lot of grief for my name choice in the last year, today I was vindicated.

Today I read an article about a national contest for the weirdest pet name, and though a cat from Maine won….

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It was not Lord Dudley Mountcatten.

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So take that spouse of 38 years! And consider yourself lucky the name Pickles McButterpants the Muffin Slayer was already being used.

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F.Y.I.

25 Comments

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Since reaching the advanced age of 58, there are times I find myself woefully out of touch.

I don’t know many of the new artists on the charts and I’m sure I don’t have any of the hip new trends in my closet.

So it shouldn’t come as any surprise that I was also blissfully unaware which emojis are being used in the drug trade these days.

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The red maple leaf is the universal symbol for drugs. Has anyone told Canada?

While the money bags make sense for a dealer, and the 🍪 for large batch is cute in a disturbing kind of way…

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Someone needs to explain to me why Percocet and oxycodone rate a banana. Because at my advanced age bananas mean fiber and extra potassium… and I can’t see anyone getting high on that.

🍌

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