All posts by Rivergirl

Sarcastic comment loading.... one moment please.
Uncategorized

Apparently any attic will do.

23 Comments

.

I think I may have mentioned my husband’s obsession with crap useless vintage items. I’ve spent nearly four decades watching him sort through dusty boxes at yard sales, flea markets and antique stores…. but last week he surprised even me.

When we moved back to Maine 20 years ago he had to start a new job before we sold our house, so I stayed down south for a few months while he bunked with a relative. Since he didn’t want to make the trip empty handed, he filled his truck with boxes and stored them in an uncle’s attic. I thought we’d collected all those boxes long ago, but after taking his uncle out to lunch last week we were told some of them were still upstairs.

.

.

Did we find the boxes? Yes, after 3 seconds of scanning from the top step I pointed them out. Did that stop my treasure hunting husband from searching someone else’s junk for a heretofore unknown copy of the constitution or a Honus Wagner rookie card? No. It did not.

I’m happy to report he found nothing but junk which thankfully stayed where it was. And after opening our leftover boxes, I would have been happy to leave some of those there as well. They were heavy as hell and mostly filled with books and clothes.

.

.

It was a bit like a time capsule. My Pat Conroy phase reared it’s head.. and 20 years later I had to wonder why I felt the need to schlepp those all the way to Maine. But it was when I examined the clothes that a little piece of me died.

.

.

Because it was at that moment I realized I am literally twice the woman I used to be, and not in a good way.

.

.

Lord Dudley Mountcatten helped me sort when we got home, though to be honest it wasn’t a tough job.

.

.

Not one single thing fit. I mean, hell… it wasn’t even close. If there’s anything more depressing than being smacked in the face with your weight gain by a box full of size sixes and eights, I don’t know what it is.

😫

.

.

Oh, well. I did manage to dig out a few pieces of long lost jewelry … and they don’t care what size I am.

.

Uncategorized

This and that

10 Comments

.

I’m sure it’s flattering to be famous and have things named after you. Buildings, cars, fashion trends, cocktails …. all good. But millipedes?

.

.

You have to wonder if an old boyfriend is behind that.

.

.

Now that’s my kind of fundraiser! A 12 year bottle of Pappy can go for $1,400-$2,000 a pop. Even I’d grab a hammer for that….

.

.

These people are so clueless it hurts. They have no idea the trouble they’ve invited into their home… because trust me, those oh so cute little darlings won’t be satisfied with the porch railing for long.

.

Uncategorized

Who knew?

19 Comments

.

Remember back in the day when there used to be dozens of airlines to choose from when traveling? It seemed like every geographic region had dozens of independent companies ready and willing to have you fly their friendly skies. Now they’ve all been bought out, merged into giant companies or died a slow death trying to compete. I was reading an article the other day about this decided lack of choice and came across a few airlines I was completely unaware of at their time of operation.

So tell me, did you ever fly Hooters Air?

.

.

Yes. This actually existed and I’m flabbergasted it passed me by.

.

.

I can’t say I would have been racing to the ticket counter but still, color me surprised. The famous wings weren’t offered as an in flight snack and though it flew to 15 cities at its peak, the venture only lasted 3 years before pulling the plug and grounding the girls for good.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, there was an airline you couldn’t pay me to board.

.

.

The only flight offered was going to be a three times a week hop from Miami to Jerusalem, but there was a plaque of the Ten Commandments on the back of every seat.. so Amen! Unfortunately for Jesus the company failed to get FAA approval for airplane modifications and the delay caused such friction between the co owners they accused each other of being in league with the devil. I’m afraid this particular Lord never got off the ground.

.

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

37 Comments

.

Smart phones. They’ve changed the world, and not always for the better. I readily admit I can’t live without mine, and after reading this article….

.

.

It may be genetic.

.

.

I can see how international travel would raise the cost of a honeymoon, but $20,000…. in the U.S.? Must be a seriously swanky resort.

.

.

Beware my Georgian friends. Lizards be hungry.

And finally, because you know I have to include it….

.

.

Shuck corn.

Boil corn.

Eat corn.

And I didn’t need to waste 4 years in journalism school, so there.

.

Uncategorized

Bonk. A preview….

28 Comments

.

The next book in my marvelously bizarre Mary Roach series is Bonk.

.

.

And I should warn you, things are going to get extremely strange. If you’re the least bit squeamish about the subject of human sexuality I suggest you skip these posts because nothing is off limits.

.

.

I loved Stiff in all its macabre glory… and when the topic is sex, you know Mary is going to bring it. Here’s a sneak peak at some of the chapter titles.

.

.

Scientific research features heavily throughout the book.

.

.

Of course they did.

If you’re up (so to speak) for a fascinating in depth look at sex, I promise you’ll learn some interesting tidbits, trivia, titillating trifles, facts about men, women and the lengths (so to speak) they’ll go to in the pursuit of pleasure.

.

.

No doubt!

🤣

.

Uncategorized

It’s like they’re not even trying.

20 Comments

.

While my normal reader numbers have taken a serious nosedive recently, the amount of spam accounts willing to receive my drivel filled missives expands exponentially. Every day I zap more and more of these annoying non existent bloggers.

.

.

And while I give them an A for persistence, ( I zap two? Three come back. ) their lack of original site names is quite pathetic.

.

.

If you’re going to clutter my follower list, at least put a little effort in to it. Geesh.

.

Uncategorized

Damn. I’d sell them my dust much cheaper..

16 Comments

.

.

Yes, someone just paid half a million dollars for a few specks of dust. And while the bunnies under my bed may not be nearly as exotic, for quantity… they can’t be beaten.

Here’s the gist of the moon dust saga : In 1969 Neil Armstrong gathered moon dust in a bag, which was put in another bag for transport to earth. Apparently the government is very greedy about their dust and forbids private citizens from owning it ….so instead of handing it out as party favors, the dust bag was loaned to a space museum in Kansas.

Problem. Museum directory Max Ary was a crook who was convicted of auctioning off space artifacts in 2005. The Marshall Service seized and then auctioned some of his items much to NASA’s dismay. The woman who bought the bag of dust… for $995… figured it might be worth a bit more and shipped it to NASA for verification.

NASA refused to give it back. She took them to court and won her dust, as well as $1.8 million. But NASA had used carbon tape to pick up a few grains of the dust to test, and these were not returned… so she sued again. It’s these tiny flecks that just brought half a million.

.

.

So please, if you have extra cash lying around and are interested in purchasing some dust? Let me know. Mine may not come from outer space but collection is not an issue.

.

Uncategorized

Random tidbits

24 Comments

.

Have you seen this duck?

.

.

I really hope Crystal wanders by our house at some point because seeing a woman chase after her with a net is positively screaming blog fodder.

.

.

We ducked into a favorite pub last week for a toddy and a nosh. The pot stickers were less than spectacular, but the cranberry ginger crush was yummy.

.

.

Sitting at the bar I saw this…

.

.

And while the thought of peanut butter whiskey disgusts me, the delivery system has merit.

.

.

I don’t recommend running into a moose . Our friend did years ago… his bike was totaled and he spent a month in the hospital . The moose? He sauntered off like he’d been tapped by a fly swatter.

.