Lord Dudley Mountcatten snuck out the not quite closed back door yesterday. It was his first taste of freedom since we adopted him back in January…. and he was positively drunk with joy.
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Instead of grabbing him and flinging his furry little butt inside, I let him enjoy the nice weather. At first he was calm, and jumped up on the table to lie in the sun. I petted and praised him and began to rethink my outdoor ban.
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Before I knew it he’d jumped off the deck and started wandering in and out of shrubs. I kept a close eye on where he was going, thinking he’d be satisfied to slowly explore his surroundings. But then?
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Bam! He took off running… across the lawn, past the garage and out towards the road. I called his name, he ignored me. I tried to catch him, he ran faster. When I finally herded him back to the deck, the little devil crawled under it… way out of reach. No amount of coaxing (or cursing) would bring him out. I spent half an hour waiting for his highness to tire of the stand off but no, he wasn’t moving. So I got a broom.
That managed to get him out from under… only to have him sprint directly to the woodshed.
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Where he climbed, jumped and writhed like a madman, knocking over bricks, plant pots and basically everything he touched. There’s only one entrance, so after 10 minutes of wild scrambling trying to get away from me?
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He gave up and perched on some wood…. which is when I grabbed his Royal highness, threw him over my shoulder and marched him into the house. The house he will probably never be allowed to leave again. Sorry Dudley, but you blew it.
Naturally his Lordship was quite put out with me. I got the stink eye, the cold shoulder and then the non stop howling and pestering for a repeated chance at the great outdoors.
Cats are a huge presence in their owner’s (read slaves) lives, so these pictures aren’t far off the mark.
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If you’ve ever been in a hurry to get out of the house and have to dodge a suddenly snake like creature winding madly around your legs, you know what I mean.
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Blocking traffic in mid town? I can see that.
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The leaf on this cat’s head kills me!
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“Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.”
Today is Mother’s Day and Lord Dudley Mountcatten marked the occasion by doing absolutely nothing. He didn’t hack me up a hairball, he didn’t push his food bowl my way… he didn’t even drop a dead mouse at my feet. What a slacker!
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I mean really, would it have killed him to order me a box of cocktail chocolates?
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No, it would not. The lazy sod sleeps on the keyboard for heaven’s sake… and don’t tell me he doesn’t have thumbs. Those paws are more dexterous than you think.
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(Don’t laugh, kitty mothers count.) Come on Dudley… River needs a chocolate covered margarita.
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See? This cat made breakfast…. I don’t think I’m being at all unreasonable.
I think we can all agree if you invite a cat into your home and heart, they quickly turn your house into their kingdom and rule with an iron fist. While all cat owners know this, there’s now an artist who’s showing us world domination isn’t far behind.
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*Gulp*
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Catzilla?
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He’ll make mincemeat out of those puny Power Rangers! And then perhaps, a pie.
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To be viewed while humming the old Vanity Fare song ‘Hitchin’ A Ride’.
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This next photo explains a lot.
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Part 2 to follow..
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Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
River's world..... 