Tag Archives: projects

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Slow and steady wins the race.

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But it doesn’t get your deck railing project finished any sooner.

We were back at it and it was still hot.

 

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Unfortunately the heat wave coincided with an extended dry spell and our lawn was starting to crunch.

 

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But old railings were torn down.

 

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And rusty nails exposed.

 

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I stained the new wood we had to waste almost 2 hours going to get that morning because someone… I won’t mention who… cut the other pieces incorrectly.

 

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And then that someone  (oops, my bad)  discovered a sander in the barn and wanted to play.

 

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He was fine on the flat surfaces, but scared me to death when he started trying to sand in between. That thing would hit a beam, jump out of his hand and spin wildly across the deck. It happened a dozen times but I could never quite catch it on film.

 

 

In between his legs.

Close to the power cord.

I knew something was gonna give, and it did.

 

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That thing jumped up and sliced his jeans right open. Thankfully he wasn’t hurt, but at that point I said no more sanding!

 

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Which he completely ignored and kept sanding.

 

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After sanding, and almost slicing his leg off?

He hammered nails.

 

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And swept the same portion of deck I had just swept.

Apparently I didn’t do it right.

We did manage to get a few pieces of wood installed before dinner.

With some gentle persuasion.

 

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So this was basically it.

 

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For a whole days work.

Good thing no one is paying us by the hour……

 

 

 

 

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Day 4… deck project.

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Four days in and we were finally ready to start adding the balustrades.

 

 

This involved a large amount of math, which as we have previously discussed… is not our strong suit.

 

 

Measuring was required. So much measuring. The fractions, the division…

Oh! The horror.

I carefully calculated the spacing of 8 rails for each section. I checked and rechecked to make sure it was accurate.

 

 

Which meant 7 of them fit perfectly.

Am I good or what?

 

 

Okay, so there were seven instead of 8.

 

 

It still looked good and things were flowing smoothly.

 

 

Until the screw heads starting popping off.

 

 

Once they were in the railing.

Which made me cringe…. and the husband grab his all purpose fix it tool.

 

 

Have hammer, will travel.

Thankfully no harm was done and we finished 3 out of the 4 sections before calling it a day.

 

 

One more section here..

 

 

Then we’ll move on to the other side.

Hopefully the heat wave will be over by then.

Hot flashing menopausal Maine women with broken toes do not fare well in temperatures over 90.

 

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Another scorcher.

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Temperatures and humidity rose to an unbearable level but the deck railing project moved on.

Slowly.

And with copious amounts of sweat.

 

 

Rotted wood here.

 

 

Rotted wood there.

And then my husband decided to add the piece of J channel that he was supposed to add 16 years ago when he enlarged the deck.

(No judgement on the dirty siding please, we have yet to buy a new pressure washer.)

 

 

The existing piece only ran halfway and the task of replacing it has been on my honey do list for almost two decades.

So off to the store he went, coming back with white J channel, while the old piece is beige.

This was a problem.

 

 

That he knew he could solve.

 

 

Hours were spent on this tiny annoying detail.

The old piece wouldn’t come out without tearing off the siding, and the siding had been caulked around the door and corner post so that was more hassle than it was worth.

 

 

He tried to slide it over, then under, and then up around the old piece but nothing worked.

 

 

Hot and frustrated, he ended up cutting a section of the old piece out and we were left with this.

 

 

A gap which will probably fill with water when it rains, but hey… it matches.

 

 

And if you’re wondering what I was doing during this time?

 

 

I was breaking the little toe on my right foot which isn’t so little anymore.

Ever the helpful wife, that’s me.

For something so small, it’s amazing how much that sucker can swell and hurt.

The result of my injury?

 

 

Husband had to do my job of staining the new wood.

In what little bit of shade he could find.

An entire day, and only we accomplished 3 things.

Yay us.

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And the deck project begins.

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But not before another trip to the store to buy wood.

 

 

(Yes, I know the husband is wearing his mask incorrectly but his glasses kept fogging up)

Two perfect pieces for the top of the railing had to be found. And even though we were searching through the more expensive smoothed cedar boards?

 

 

They were rife with holes, chops, cracks and warty blemishes.

After 45 minutes…

 

 

We moved on to the 2×4’s.

 

 

Is it any wonder our small weekend projects turn into 3 month long slog fests?

 

 

So this is our deck, and those are the railings that will be replaced.

Hopefully by the end of summer.

Of 2020.

 

 

First step…. remove the old railings.

The first few were easy as they had been screwed.

 

 

Then it got harder with massive doubled rusty nails that didn’t want to let go.

 

 

Did I mention we picked the middle of a heat wave with record breaking temperatures to start this project.

How hot was it….?

 

 

Okay, not quite. Though it felt that way.

That thermometer was sitting on the table in direct sunlight.

It was actually this hot, in the shade.

 

 

And for Maine?

That is insanely frickin’ hot.

 

 

But progress was made.

 

 

And halted when rotting beam sections had to be cut out.

 

 

With 1950’s era tools.

 

 

Yes, I’m afraid so.

And you know what happens when you use power tools from the middle of the last century?

 

 

Nothing good.

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It’s just wood.

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No, not that kind of wood.

The kind that my husband wanted to replace this:

 

 

Our deck railings, which are rotting in a few places.

I’ve tried to talk him into ripping the whole deck out and putting in Trek composite…. yours truly is tired of staining every 2-3 years…. but no. He got half of the deck wood at a yard sale, for free.

It must be preserved.

Did it match the existing wider deck planks?

 

 

No. But you’re not supposed to notice that.

So…. we shopped for wood and different railings.

 

 

If you’ve never shopped for wood with my husband you don’t know what you’re missing.

 

 

He used to run a quality assurance shop for helicopters in the Marine Corps and he takes quality seriously.

Does it surprise you to learn that we spent more than an hour searching for 2 pieces….. and he didn’t find any he liked?

 

 

It shouldn’t.

But I did come home with new bronze deck balusters.

 

 

To be continued….

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Why is nothing ever easy?

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Take staining the deck for example.

I do it every few years, and that time had rolled around again.

 

 

So I went to Lowes and had them mix this color.

 

 

A nice warm chocolate brown.

Then I duded up in my paint clothes, gathered my brushes and hacked back the boxwood shrubs that were in the way.

 

 

All was well…. until I opened my can of stain.

 

 

And saw that.

Does that look like a warm chocolate brown to you?

 

 

It wasn’t even close.

And looked positively awful when painted on the deck railing. Like liquid peanut butter.

 

 

Blech.

Way too light.

Knowing I’d have to return it but not wanting to change clothes and drive 40 minutes to Lowes, I ran up to the local hardware store for a darker stain.

Of course they were almost out of stain and only had one choice…. which I bought, went home and tried.

 

 

Nope.

Way too dark.

I was beginning to feel like Goldilocks…

 

 

And trudged back to the hardware store to return the second can.

By the time I got back, the husband told me to hold off staining because he wanted to replace all the old rotted railings with something nicer.

Another project?

I’m not sure I have it in me.

And how long will I have to live with a multicolored railing?

 

 

Stay tuned for this and other equally as uninteresting answers.

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Well, he thought he was done.

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The baby barn.

 

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Now that we’d finished the  holy crap did it really take that long  construction and paint, it was time for me to begin the beautification process. This meant doing something with the empty flower bed and border.

The ground has always been uneven there… and when I mulched, it tended to wash downhill. So I gathered up a bunch of the old weathered bricks I love and started stacking.

While the husband was watching.

Best.

Idea.

Ever.

 

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Before I knew it?

 

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He was on his hands and knees telling me I was doing it wrong.

 

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And while I normally don’t react well to that statement… if it means someone will step in and do all the work?  I can swallow my pride.

In no time flat it was being done properly.

 

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As he gleefully pointed out how my eyeballed straight line wasn’t so straight.

 

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Look at him with his little level.

 

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Isn’t that special?

 

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I damn near burst out laughing when he started trimming the bush with a pair of scissors.

Who is this man, and what have you done with my husband?

 

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Be still my heart.

He actually dipped into his sacred pile of dirt that’s been behind the baby barn since we built the big barn years ago and…  look!

He even spread it.

 

 

I don’t mind telling you the rare sight of my husband gardening was positively orgasmic.

While he loves to mow the lawn and chop down trees…. anything resembling planting, weeding, mulching, bordering… aka gardening?

 

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It was a miraculous sight.

 

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Unfortunately it used up a lot more material than I had, so I sent out an SOS for additional bricks.

 

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Next door neighbor to the rescue.

 

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They have a lovely old farmhouse with a huge 3  (4?)  story barn.

 

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Which the husband was scoping out while I loaded bricks into the truck.

 

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She had enough to let us  (and by us, I mean him. All I did was take pictures and moan with pleasure)  finish.

 

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And I’m quite pleased with the results.

 

 

 

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Behold the majesty.

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The majesty  (and the God damn miracle I’m not divorced)  that is the completed baby barn remodel.

And yes even though it’s as small as a shed, there was a horse living in it before we moved in, so it’s a barn.

A baby barn.

And I have the hay holder thingies to prove it.

 

 

Please note ‘hay holder thingies’ may not be the correct equine term, but I was born in Jersey. The only thing I know about horses is who placed in the fourth at Belmont.

We started with this….

 

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And finished with this….

 

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Looks a little better than before, eh?

No comments on the empty garden bed, that has yet to be redone.

Before….

 

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After…

 

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Before….

 

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After….

 

 

And to think it only took us a 10 mere months.

 

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Which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We started it’s larger father in 2012…. and haven’t really finished that yet either.

 

rush

 

Yup.

That’s our motto.

 

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I needed a holiday from the holiday.

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Our last day of the long Memorial Day weekend meant a morning of yard work.

 

 

Tag team mowing with the husband on his new toy and me slogging along with the old push mower.

It was a gorgeous day.

 

 

The pear tree was blooming.

 

 

The mallows I’d planted were thriving.

 

 

And everything had finally turned green.

 

 

Except the baby barn which I decided to start painting that afternoon.

Let me preface this by saying I used to love to paint.

I used to.

Until I had to use an artist’s tiny brush around all the nooks, corners, flashing and crooked angles on that beast.

 

 

 

Did I wear some paint, get covered in dirt, rip my pants, tumble off a ladder and work until almost 8:00 at night?

Yes I did.

 

 

But paint was applied.

 

 

And covered a multitude of sins.

 

 

Three sides done, one to go!

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Back to the nightmare.

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Oh, you thought the squirrel eviction was the end?

No, that was merely a side story.

The nightmare was the hole.

And the decades worth of squirrel nests concealed there in.

Appropriately masked, the husband approached.

Pulled a panel and…

How’s that for an action shot?

Man, you would not believe how much stuff he pulled out of there.

It was, in a word…. disgusting.

And landed everywhere.

If that isn’t enough to make the husband pay attention when I wave the honey do list in the future?

Nothing ever will be.

So now we had an empty hole.

A big empty hole with a badly installed spotlight fixture.

And a momma squirrel… who even though she found and moved her babies… still wanted back in.

So as the husband worked, with an audience, and stomped my geraniums to such a pulp I had to temporarily relocate them…

Momma squirrel was watching.

Many frustrating hours later, just as I was willing to admit defeat and use this-

It was done.

Hole plugged.

And momma red thwarted. We think.