Temperatures are dropping, as are all the pretty autumn leaves. Late fall is setting in and winter won’t be far behind. Pumpkins will be tossed … but before you do, consider this:
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Critters love pumpkins. And if you aren’t blessed with chickens? Please cut them in half and toss them in your nearest woods. Many creatures can’t cut through the rind, but they love the juicy interior.
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Funny, and very true. I’ve never canned a single thing in my life and don’t intend to start now.
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If you’re tempted to wear these on Thanksgiving? Please… for the love of all that’s holy… post pictures.
With Thanksgiving right around the bend, my mind naturally turns to food. Visions of a glistening, perfectly roasted, juicy bird take center stage… and I can guarantee you it’s not this kind.
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A plant based turkey?
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An already stuffed with God knows what plant based turkey?
Not on my holiday table.
🤢
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Backyard color.
(Disclaimer-this pic was taken before the N’Or Easter. The wind stripped her bare)
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But yes, the burning bushes are burning.
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I have to ask… wouldn’t duct tape work just as well?
So a certain blogger (who shall remain nameless unless he/she actually wants to take credit for this post) sent me a link to a product that I found the day after Thanksgiving.
Having just enjoyed copious amounts of turkey, I admit it made me think twice about ever eating one again. It seems we never really know what those birds are up to pre gluttonous feast.
Behold The Tryptotrouser Turkey Print Ball Hammock Boxer Briefs:
Yup.
They exist.
And the product description is totally blog worthy.
Spend more time stuffing your face and less time stuffing your balls this Thanksgiving. Introducing the only ball hammock boxers that can hold just as much weight as your tryptophan-induced insides can fathom. Protect your baby gravy like you protect your prized family seat, with a ball hammock to gently rest your stones and an ultra soft micro model material that will have your girl wanting seconds. And thirds. And probably yams because yams are just so tasty.
“Baby gravy”?
I’ve heard a lot of interesting terms for the male anatomy over the years…. but that’s a new one. (And speaking as someone who loves gravy on her mashed taters? Stop using it…. right freaking now.)
But if you’re thinking yeah, thanks a lot River. Thanksgiving is over and now I’ve missed a perfect opportunity to give a wonderfully thoughtful gift along with the green bean casserole?
Fear not.
This post will pass along further information for what I think is probably the best Christmas stocking stuffer ever.
For your husband, your brother, your uncle, your cousin…. Hell, for every man in your life.
Give them to your mailman and the guy who changes your oil.
If you clicked the link, you’ll realize I wasn’t talking about those delightfully revolting pink Hostess treats that look like Tribbles.
It’s another thing entirely.
No, I’m not kidding…
And some of the descriptions are funnier than the product itself.
“Summer is a decidedly, uh, swampy time for many men and the summer of 2019 has been especially hot and humid throughout most of the northern hemisphere. Dress loose and in light fabrics all you want, eventually the heat hits you in the crotch.
It’s a uniquely male problem and one underwear company has the solution to that and more. Snowballs basically wants to ice your ‘nads back into the comfort—and fertility—zone.
Being able to walk around with your ‘nads air-conditioned without risking indecent exposure is pretty appealing. And Snowballs claims their product can do more than just frost the funk away from your nether regions.”
Swampy?
Yeah, no one wants that.
“From setting sprays to chafing balm, ladies have a few tricks up their sleeves when it comes to handling the heatwave.
But now men have found something to help them out on scorching hot days — freezable pants.
Over on Amazon, a brand called Snowballs Underwear is selling “scientifically-backed cooling underwear”.
The underwear comes with ice packs — dubbed “SnowWedges” — that men are able to put in the freezer before popping into a pouch that sits over the groin.”
And before you decide the whole thing is just a joke, here’s a video to prove icing your balls, sack, nuts, jewels, sweetbreads, Christ…what term won’t get me kicked off WordPress? parts has actual medical benefits.
There.
Now don’t you feel better knowing these exist?
Just remember…
You saw it here first.
Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
River's world..... 