Telemarketers have gotten clever over the past few years. They spoof actual businesses and use real people’s names with local numbers to trick you into answering.
Last month our caller ID came up with my own name and number. Though why I needed to call myself has yet to be determined.
Last week?
This:
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It’s like they’re not even trying anymore.
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Covid warnings, Maine style.
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Deer and fading backyard foliage, just because.
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Damn.
I knew I shouldn’t have let my National Geographic subscription expire. Slutty ostriches would have been a good read.
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Deep fried pickled asparagus is not my idea of an acceptable appetizer, but they’re very popular at our local pub right now.
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This describes our current weather quite well. Something for everyone.
And finally, fluffle.
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Because we all need a tad more cuteness in our life right about now.
Or so my husband said when we were redoing the deck railings.
He took the old one down and elected not to put it back up.
Why?
Oh, he mumbled something about tearing down all the old gutters and replacing them, but honestly I think he just didn’t want to mess with it. Which was fine, until rain was in the forecast and I told him it might be a good idea to put it back up.
Life would be so much easier if he listened to me…. but no.
So, it rained.
Not a lot, but enough so we had a torrent of water flooding the garden bed and sloshing mulch and dirt everywhere.
I didn’t say a word… though I might have smirked.
I mean really. How could I not?
So out he went, poor guy.
And naturally the downspout didn’t pop back on as easily as it came off.
Numerous adjustments were made.
With a hammer and some colorful language.
By the time he was done, he was soaked and the spout was screwed. Literally and figuratively…. because he broke a piece and had to Jerry rig it.
Now wouldn’t this have been easier…. not to mention drier…. if he had just listened to me in the first place?
Remember the tree planting miracle I posted about a while ago? When the husband dug up and transplanted 3 maple trees to the far corners of our backyard?
Yes, the ones I had to water everyday because we were entering drought conditions.
Well, that stopped when I broke my toe and I told the other half he’d have to take over the job if he wanted his trees to survive.
Water every day I told him.
Which is what I did, religiously, with his little patch of grass seed next to the baby barn.
Under my watchful eye the seed sprouted…
And is now green…
Thick and lush.
The trees?
That the husband didn’t bother to water because of course I don’t know what I’m talking about…..
But it doesn’t get your deck railing project finished any sooner.
We were back at it and it was still hot.
Unfortunately the heat wave coincided with an extended dry spell and our lawn was starting to crunch.
But old railings were torn down.
And rusty nails exposed.
I stained the new wood we had to waste almost 2 hours going to get that morning because someone… I won’t mention who… cut the other pieces incorrectly.
And then that someone (oops, my bad) discovered a sander in the barn and wanted to play.
He was fine on the flat surfaces, but scared me to death when he started trying to sand in between. That thing would hit a beam, jump out of his hand and spin wildly across the deck. It happened a dozen times but I could never quite catch it on film.
In between his legs.
Close to the power cord.
I knew something was gonna give, and it did.
That thing jumped up and sliced his jeans right open. Thankfully he wasn’t hurt, but at that point I said no more sanding!
Which he completely ignored and kept sanding.
After sanding, and almost slicing his leg off?
He hammered nails.
And swept the same portion of deck I had just swept.
Apparently I didn’t do it right.
We did manage to get a few pieces of wood installed before dinner.
Temperatures and humidity rose to an unbearable level but the deck railing project moved on.
Slowly.
And with copious amounts of sweat.
Rotted wood here.
Rotted wood there.
And then my husband decided to add the piece of J channel that he was supposed to add 16 years ago when he enlarged the deck.
(No judgement on the dirty siding please, we have yet to buy a new pressure washer.)
The existing piece only ran halfway and the task of replacing it has been on my honey do list for almost two decades.
So off to the store he went, coming back with white J channel, while the old piece is beige.
This was a problem.
That he knew he could solve.
Hours were spent on this tiny annoying detail.
The old piece wouldn’t come out without tearing off the siding, and the siding had been caulked around the door and corner post so that was more hassle than it was worth.
He tried to slide it over, then under, and then up around the old piece but nothing worked.
Hot and frustrated, he ended up cutting a section of the old piece out and we were left with this.
A gap which will probably fill with water when it rains, but hey… it matches.
And if you’re wondering what I was doing during this time?
I was breaking the little toe on my right foot which isn’t so little anymore.
Ever the helpful wife, that’s me.
For something so small, it’s amazing how much that sucker can swell and hurt.
The result of my injury?
Husband had to do my job of staining the new wood.
River's world..... 