Nursery chuckles and organic weed control.

 

I’ve never met a flower I didn’t like, so I never pass a nursery without stopping in to check out the new arrivals.

The other day?

This made me laugh.

 

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Best name for manured soil…

Evah!

 

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And then there was this little succulent…

 

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Who clearly wanted a hug.

 

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When I got home that afternoon and saw all the dandelions popping up on our lawn, I lamented the fact that we don’t use chemicals for weed control.

But then I saw this out our bedroom window.

 

 

 

Bless his little Chucker heart.

He wandered around and ate every bloom he saw.

Suck on that Monsanto!

 

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I knew it!

 

 

For those who are Thrones bereft.

 

Game of Thrones is over…

 

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And whether you loved the ending or not…

You have to admit, it was one helluva ride.

 

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But if you’re feeling sad…

Because Sunday nights no longer have a purpose?

Maybe this will help…

 

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A dragon lamp with different color “flames”.

For those times you really want to yell Dracarys.

 

 

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Yes, they exist.

 

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And the description is blog worthy in and of itself.

 

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Well, I do love lots of Game of Thrones.

And I wouldn’t mind making a dragon gift to my friends.

But the fact that it’s made of high quality plastic? With good detailization?

Plus! Plus!

 

And face it, now that season 8 is finished….

It’s as close to dragons as any of us are going to get.

 

 

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When I die….

 

My epitaph shall read:

Here lies River

She was swallowed by a quince bush.

 

 

 

This is the bush from Hell that lives and multiplies like a rabbit on our property.

 

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Every fall we wack it down to a manageable level, and every spring it comes back with a vengeance.

 

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Yes, the blooms are lovely.

 

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And yes, the bumblebees enjoy it.

 

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Pardon the bee butt shots. Apparently they’re camera shy.

 

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But damn.

It’s only June and the pink spawn of Satan is already reaching the roof line.

 

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So if I should disappear this summer?

Grab a machete and come get me….

 

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It’s already got three window exits blocked.

 

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I fear the doors are next.

 

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Did you know…

 

In 1700’s London, you could purchase insurance against going to Hell?

Proof positive there’s a policy for everything.

 

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And yes, it’s that time again.

 

 

Game of Thrones

 

 

President Andrew Jackson’s parrot Poll cursed so loudly during his master’s funeral he had to be removed.

Parrots…

You never know what the little bastards will do.

 

 

The LEGO company was founded in Denmark in the 1930’s.

It’s name is an abbreviation for the words leg godt which mean “play well”.

 

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A crocodile’s tongue is attached to the roof of it’s mouth so it doesn’t accidentally bite it when snapping down on prey.

 

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There is a canine condition known as Frito Feet.

It’s a bacterial foot infection that smells like corn chips.

Sorry Fido.

 

 

 

In ancient Greece women counted their age from the day they were married.

This works for me.

I’m 35.

 

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The Hawaiian alphabet only contains 12 letters. Five vowels and seven consonants.

You’d think that would make spelling their names easier, but it doesn’t.

 

 

The most common name for a goldfish in America is Jaws.

 

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Because I’m a very technical gardener.

 

My back is breaking, but the annual planting of annuals is done.

(See what I did there? Word play. I live for that shit.)

 

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A nice combination of pink and white for the stone wall bed.

 

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There’s this pretty daisy-ish one…

 

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And the pink tinged green leafy thingies.

 

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(See what I mean by technical?

Please try to keep up with the detailed scientific plant descriptions.

There may be a quiz.)

 

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I liked this purple violet thingamabob…

 

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So I planted 3 with a couple of petunias.

 

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A few coleus for the only little plot of shade we have.

 

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It will be a miracle if I can keep the slugs off them this year.

I plant, they eat. Slimy little bastards…

Note to self – buy more salt.

 

 

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Orange lilies…

 

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Spikey purple whatchamacallit, an impatient and two soft fuzzy green mounds.

 

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I don’t think the fuzzies bloom…

 

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But they’re silky, delicate and sweet, so I don’t care.

 

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Every year the husband says he’s going to tear down our rotting shed, and every year he doesn’t, so I plant yellow and orange stuff in front of it.

Like this whozit which has both.

 

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If you can recite all the Latin names for those plants?

Bravo.

I tend to read them on the tags at the nursery and then forget them as soon as I get home.

 

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That won’t work.

I don’t know enough rappers.

 

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That’s better.

I do love me some Cleese.

 

 

 

 

 

Good grief, what next?

 

I know this has been a “thing” for a while…

But I’m just getting around to mocking it.

Apologies for the tardiness, but there’s just too much crazy out there for a girl to keep up.

A.S.M.R.

Autonomous sensory meridian response.

Definition:

 

 

 

 

 

A.S.M.R.

Because just when I think I’ve seen everything….

Thousands of people step up to prove me wrong.

Apparently, he likes me.

 

Sometimes WordPress makes me laugh because I follow a lot of funny people.

 

 

Sometimes it makes me laugh because a lot of funny people follow me.

 

 

And sometimes it makes me laugh for totally unexpected reasons.

Like the other day when I clicked my notifications and saw this:

 

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Clearly I must make TANBHIR laugh because he liked the hell out of every comment I made on one of my old posts.

Every single comment.

That’s a lot of laughing.

 

 

Not enough for him to actually comment back or add anything to the thread, but clearly TANBHIR likes the like button.

Unfortunately since TANBHIR  (Who must be a serious fellow since his name is all CAPS) only wants to help me make money online so I did not return the favor and like him back. I also removed him from my followers list.

Sorry TANBHIR, but I’m not here to make money.

Better luck next time.

 

 

Boys and their (too damned big) toys.

 

The husband had been sputtering about one for a year, so I knew ….

 

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Naturally he had to have the biggest one they sold…

 

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And we had to rent a damned trailer to get the silly thing home.

 

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Sigh.

Did we need a lawn mower with a cut radius almost as wide as I am tall?

No.

 

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But we’ve got one now.

And contrary to popular belief…. bigger is not better when trying to fit said mower in your shed.

 

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I told him it wouldn’t fit before he bought it.

 

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I told him it wouldn’t fit after he bought it.

 

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You know where this is going, right?

 

 

It wouldn’t fit.

 

 

Yeah. Who saw that coming?

So now…

 

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His precious car is going to live outside so the even more precious new toy can have half of the garage to itself.

 

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Men and their toys.

 

thought-bubbles

 

Driving women crazy since time immemorial….