All posts by Rivergirl

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Worms do not like bleach.

20 Comments

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Yesterday I started a chore I’ve been putting off for two years. After a month of (not so) subtly hinting the husband could help me, I gave up and did it myself. Armed with a spray bottle of bleach, multiple scrubby sponges and a pressure hose attachment I attacked the shady sides of our vinyl sided garage.

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Naturally I forgot to take a before photo…

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But this is what I was battling, and trust me it’s a workout. Green, moldy algae discoloration that didn’t want to let go.

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It’s the result of kicked up ground water, stuck grass clippings from my husband’s giant lawn tractor and a lack of direct sunlight drying the rain.

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The woodchucks tunnel under this door and have ruined the surrounding lawn… but patches of loose dirt that became muddy with bleach soaked water yielded an interesting result.

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Worms.

Here a worm, there a worm. Worms everywhere … wriggling out of the ground in protest. Clearly they did not enjoy a bleach bath.

Sorry worms. It had to be done.

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*Following photo for Boo who wanted to see my pressure washing attachment. *

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Bonk … part 3.

23 Comments

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You know the drill. This book is about sex… proceed at your own peril.

The first fun fact will thrill men and relieve their locker room anxiety in no time flat.

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This next item will come as no surprise to women.

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Seriously, we never doubted this.

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Now there’s a recipe I never thought I’d share.

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I didn’t feel the need to watch Iron crotch, but if you’re so inclined? Please write a review.

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Nose erections. Tell me how glad you are to be my blog follower now.

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I hear volunteering for public service is good for the soul. Perhaps I should include a sign up sheet…?

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Easy peasey.

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I’m going to give away a secret here so listen up.

For years I couldn’t bake a decent cookie to save my life.. and believe me it wasn’t for lack of trying. No matter what recipe I tried, no matter what miracle pan I used they either came out of the oven a gooey sugar filled mess or something resembling a hockey puck.

And then…

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Then I found them. The absolutely easiest, most perfect, even River can’t screw them up cookies.

Four ingredients. Four minutes prep and viola!

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Sublime every time. Trust me, those are soft baked little circles of heaven right there. And because I live to spread joy…. I’ll share.

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So far I have made lemon, chocolate, strawberry, spice, orange and butter pecan. And they were all fabulous, no hockey stick required. I’ve even started branching out by adding flavor extracts to the plain yellow mix … last night, almond.

Take that Mrs. Fields!

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Have you ever had one of those days….

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You know the ones, they start out innocently enough, swerve and then drive you straight to Hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Mine was this past Saturday when I attempted to do some gardening. Pansies needed to be planted in my pots on the barn porch… but this did not go as planned.

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All I did was pick them up, I swear! The bottom fell out of one, the other split in half. I should have quit then, I really should have… but no. I decided to fire up the old weed wacker and trim.

I trimmed around my garden beds, I trimmed around the apple trees and then I trimmed around the septic tank access block.

Bad idea. Very bad.

The ground was still wet… which caused my foot to slip… which caused the weed wacker to knock the cement cover askew… which rammed a piece of rotted wood in the frame….

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And… well. It went downhill from there.

Literally and figuratively.

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I’ll spare you the odoriferous details, but trust me… they were epic. 🤢

Suffice it to say we spent the entire afternoon with our heads in the septic tank.

I do not recommend this as a relaxing weekend activity. Not one little bit.

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A new concrete tank cap was purchased and maneuvered into place (God damn! Those things are heavy.) and a new frame was built so yours truly is not able to repeat this mishap.

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I kept trying to tell my husband it could have been worse. The cover could have fallen into the tank and someone… I’m not saying who… would have had to climb in to retrieve it.

Oddly enough, he didn’t find that the least bit funny.

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💩

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Junior is back.

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Momma Chuck has been visiting off and on for a few weeks now and while I’m not sure if she’s moved back in under the man cave/barn… it’s a distinct possibility.

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I threw out some carrot shavings for her yesterday when low and behold…

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Junior showed up as well.

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Last year when Momma had her babies, there was a runt who was constantly by her side. We worried that he wouldn’t grow big enough to make it through the winter, but it looks like he did.

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Although having a pesky teenager following you around could get old quickly.

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Do you binge?

49 Comments

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I love a good binge, be it tacos or television. So when my new iPhone came with 3 months of free Apple TV access? I jumped on board and watched The Morning Show from start to finish….

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And was seriously impressed. Finding quality programming is a wonderful thing so I dove right into another series and was blown away…

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Yes, this quirky little comedy/drama is now my hands down favorite show.

It’s hilarious… I positively snort.

It’s heartwarming… the Christmas episode made my eyes leak.

The writing is top notch, the characters are well developed and it’s filled with snappy snarky dialogue which is always the best kind. Drama, humor, romance, sports… there’s something for everyone.

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Oy! My favorite character is Roy.

Roy Kent! He’s here, he’s there. Here’s every f*cking where. Roy Kent!

Inside reference, never mind.

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This series is entertaining, endearing, wry, uplifting, wacky and totally addicting. I zipped through seasons one and two and was absolutely bereft at the thought of waiting for #3.

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If you don’t have Apple TV? Get it. You won’t be sorry.

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Why?

36 Comments

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The following are three things I can find absolutely no reason for being.

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Meat is not and can not be made from plants. You want a kale sandwich? Fine, but please identify it as such. Impossible is an apt name.

Here’s something that should be near and dear to my heart – a wine purse.

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So why in the name of Bacchus are they filling it Gatorade? Epic fail.

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I’m sorry, but you have to be a special kind of stupid person to pay $14.99 (plus shipping and handling) for a single apple. I don’t care how cute the box is.

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Have shovel, still traveling.

27 Comments

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More trees were replaced/planted yesterday…. this time as far away from the house as is possible.

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And after all the rain we’ve had, I don’t think watering them will be necessary for a while.

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There’s a reason none of the trees my husband plants in our far back yard live and it’s called clay. While there’s nice topsoil near the house, our property slopes down to the woods and eventually to the banks of a river…. and around here that means clay. Saturated with water in the spring, cracked bone dry in the summer… but that doesn’t deter my husband. No sir.

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Two of these beauties were purchased and planted.

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Marrying an eternal optimist makes for a lot of work.

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Whether theses trees will last any longer than the previous elms, oaks or apples he planted is any one’s guess.

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Momma Chuck is in da house.

8 Comments

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It’s official… Momma Chuck is back, fresh out of hibernation and voraciously hungry.

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It seems she had no trouble remembering where the salad bar was located.

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And if you’re wondering how I know this is Momma Chuck and not one of the four babies she had under the barn last year…

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I’d say it’s the decided lack of that 18 hour bra I recommended last season.

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🤣

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I may have set a dangerous precedent.

32 Comments

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The husband’s weekly Sunday pool game is still in full swing and I fear I’ve doomed myself to a full day of cooking, serving and cleaning from here on out.

I’m hard wired to feed people when they visit, and though technically no one is visiting me… the men come over to play at 9:00am and don’t leave until 3:30 – 4:00pm which means lunch. Whipping up something in the crock pot works well because it meant less trips back and forth, and with no kitchen or running water in the man cave I’m not serving 3 course meals. But it also means I’m up and cooking at 5:00am every Sunday so it’s ready at noon. Back and forth to the barn with cutlery, plates, serving utensils etc. … setting it all up, feeding them, clearing up, running it all back to house to wash. This is not my idea of a relaxing weekend.

But the sweet little (competitive as hell) old man is a widower so now as well as feeding him lunch… I’m boxing up leftovers for him to take home.

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Creamy ham and noodle casserole was a hit last week. As was my plate of strawberry crinkle cookies I made the night before and had to post off limits before the husband ate them all.

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I keep telling the guys once summer heat is in full swing the meal train is apt to stop, although the widower’s disappointment is almost palpable. No one wants chicken and dumplings in July… and besides, I’m rapidly running out of crock pot recipes.

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