All posts by Rivergirl

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Because when it’s my husband’s birthday…

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You know there’s only one answer to the question, “ what do you want to do to celebrate?”

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Antiquing of course.

This time around it was the semi famous, at least in Maine… Elmers Barn. A ramshackle place that looks small from the front but feels like it’s 10 football fields deep once you’re inside.

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In other words, husband heaven.

And because technically it was a barn at one time….

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This lovely fellow greeted us upon arrival.

My husband turned 75 that day and to be honest, for the last few years he’s been feeling his age. The combination of a global plague, retirement, health issues, multiple deaths of friends and family, and the general weariness of aches and pains that are more prevalent when you spend considerable time on this side of the dirt have finally caught up to him. This winter the twinkle in his eye has faded and there’s not much spring in his step. Once the weather turns and he’s able to soak up some sun and fresh air I’m sure he’ll perk back up… but for now all I could offer was a day sifting and sorting through piles of useless crap untold treasure and a promise he could buy whatever he wanted without nary an eye roll from me.

Oh, the sacrifices I make for love.

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This was one of the first things we saw when we walked in and I fervently hoped he wouldn’t want to buy it. Dolls in general creep me out, but dolls with dead eyes who look ready to consume your soul in one easy gulp?

No. Thank. You.

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Needless to say we spent hours in this store and saw our share of strange things. Vintage snow sled with training wheels?

Check!

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Taxidermy with stylish chapeaux?

Check!

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I lost the husband in the aptly named ‘tool room’ for a long period of time, but surprisingly after spending half the day in a creaky old barn that promised 3 floors of odd and unusual…. there were very few items that could be described as either. Quite disappointing, that.

And though I fully expected to strain my eyes in a valiant attempt to stop them rolling… my beloved only made one small five dollar purchase that day.

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An antique wooden tap for the man cave.

Color me surprised.

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Where we speak of brains, groceries and memories that make us cry.

26 Comments

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It never ceases to amaze me what’s currently popular on Amazon.

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Is there really a plethora of suburban housewives eager to present a Jello brain at their next dinner party? I have my doubts, but whatever.

Being retired military, my husband and I try to take advantage of all the benefits that provides. For years we bought cheaper, tax free groceries at the commissary…. until George W. Bush closed our local base. There was a huge outcry from retirees in our area and talk of shuttering the base but keeping the commissary open. Sadly that didn’t happen, and now the nearest base is over two hours away. A four and a half hour round trip for groceries seems extreme but with the prices of everything going sky high, we decided to take a day and check it out.

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Perdue boneless skinless chicken breasts for under $3.00? I’ve been paying close to $9.00! Needless to say I filled a cart and then some. Even using half a tank of gas I still saved mucho dinero. Looks like we’ll have to make a monthly pilgrimage from now on.

If you’re on Facebook you’re familiar with the “memories” that pop up on your feed. I don’t normally pay much attention… ten years ago today I posted a picture of a woodchuck? Shocking! Please alert the press. But the other day this picture gave me pause..

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Not because we were younger and thinner.. although, damn. I really do miss thin… but because when I took a closer look, I realized four of the 13 family members pictured have passed. My husband’s brother, brother in law, mother, and aunt. Being an only child of an only child, my list of relatives is ridiculously small. I’ve lost both parents so I’m pretty much done. But the husband is one of nine from one of six, so the chances of someone missing from his side of the family photos increases exponentially.

😰

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So much thinking.

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The husband has a standing Sunday afternoon pool game with the little old man up the road. He’s a widower my other half met years ago at breakfast, and as soon as we remodeled the barn into a man cave… the weekly game commenced.

Last week a few other friends showed up and team play got underway. There was a lot of laughing.

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And a great deal of thinking.

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It seems like every time I went out to refresh the snacks, there was one shot taken…

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And then more thinking.

So much thinking…

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More often than not, the mild mannered 85 year old widower cleaned the table while the rest of the men continued thinking.

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He may be small, but every little bone in is body is competitive.

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No matter. Beer, chili and cornbread are great equalizers.

😉

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Chicken helmets

29 Comments

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Well color me surprised. I never even knew these things existed..

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But now that I do? I really want to buy a set for our neighbor’s birds.

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I’m not exactly sure what purpose they serve… do chickens play football? Or crash motorcycles?

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Or as that picture suggests, go to war? Whatever the reason, a helmeted flock of chickens must be a wonderful sight to behold.

While researching this important topic I also came across this:

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Because every well dressed chicken needs a good hat.

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And if you think that’s ridiculous get a load of this-

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A helmet and T Rex arms might be a bridge too far..

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Backyard training grounds

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We have a young Coopers hawk who enjoys using our backyard bird feeders as a training ground for hunting. He’s not very adept at capture yet, but he sure does give it the old college try.

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He also drives Lord Dudley Mountcatten completely insane. The poor feline is confused. It’s a bird, so he’s fascinated. But it’s a predator, so he’s scared.

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It’s only a matter of time before blood and feathers will be scattered on the ground.

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And while that’s hard to take….

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Hawks really are beautiful creatures.

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And deserve to eat just like the rest of us.

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More sad animal facts.

24 Comments

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As I said, my crazy calendar hasn’t been nearly crazy enough to suit me, but here are a few more tidbits from March.

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I see nothing wrong with this abnormality. Heck… it would saved me quite a few miserable nights when I was a foolish teenager who over indulged on T J Swan wine.

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Comparison of drawing to actual rabbit?

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They nailed the ears, but otherwise it looks like a bloated tick with whiskers.

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This is very true…. and if I could find my backyard video when I literally bumped into a skunk, I’d prove it. They really do look like little gymnasts when they’re pissed.

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Comparison of drawing to actual skunk?

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The tail is too small, the head is too big and we still have the bloated tick issue.

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Odds and ends.

38 Comments

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While I enjoy a sweet treat as much as the next girl, and am seriously pro dessert…

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The word dump tends to take a little bloom off the rose for me.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten. He tries to hide, but isn’t very good at it.

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A very clever use of faucet handles to be sure. And now that I think about it, a spring flower that even my dastardly woodchucks couldn’t eat.

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Facebook. It’s annoying… but still the best way I know to keep up with old friends. And speaking of old, this was my FB memory from the other day. A photo of me and the hubs in the French Alps many moons ago. Yes, I was rock climbing in flip flops. Oh to be young and stupid again..

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Fuzz… part 5.

22 Comments

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For my friends of a certain age… did your mother ever force feed you castor oil? If so, be glad it was only a tablespoon and you weren’t on Mussolini’s bad side.

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Next up … a little story on something you should never do to increase sexual pleasure.

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Ouch! Not to mention eww.

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I knew that bitch had military experience! We’re doomed.

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You have to wonder what kind of little boy or girl fantasized about owning a company that specializes in these products. “What do you want to be when you grow up Susie/Sammy?” “A butt paste and douche distributor mommy. It will be so much fun!”

😳

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