Tag Archives: birthdays

Even better than rocks…

 

I’ve been known to give some interesting birthdays gifts in my time.

Some elicit laughter, some tears….

Some? Downright befuddlement.

It’s all good.

In the past few years, I’ve gifted my husband with experiences as well as tangible items.

2014 was a beer making lesson.

 

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Friends and family joined us for what I thought would be a laugh a minute celebration…

 

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Ah, look at those happy faces.

(Word of warning –  if you’re thinking about trying it? There’s a lot more to beer than drinking. And I don’t recommend any of it.)

Beer drinking? Fun!

Beer making?

 

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Not so much.

It’s a long involved process…. that I completely stopped caring about two hours in.

 

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Poor husband.

Look at him… he had his tasting glass ready and it wasn’t anywhere near finished.

Birthday experience gift rating on a scale of 1 to 10?

4.

 

Last year I nailed it with a School of Falconry class.

This was fabulous and we both enjoyed it immensely.

 

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Husband got up close and personal with a Harris Hawk and a Peregrine Falcon.

And they were both beautiful creatures.

 

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Learning to handle them can be challenging.

 

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As well as a little intimidating.

Of course, they were nothing compared to the instructor.

 

 

She was downright terrifying.

(I think the husband had flashbacks to boot camp and reverted to a quivering PFC before my eyes.)

But baggie of dead quails aside?

 

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An awesome day.

Birthday experience gift rating?

A definite 10!

 

So this year, along with the rock and other assorted presents…

I gave him a helicopter.

 

 

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Okay, calm down.

Those babies go for $425,000.

I gave him the experience of learning how to fly a helicopter.

Half an hour class instruction, half an hour flying time with 2 guests.

I’m not sure when we’ll do it, most likely after the weather warms up.

But I’m guessing it’s going to be a good one!

Assuming we don’t die in a flaming fireball of a crash…

That’s bound to reduce the rating.

 

 

 

Birthday presents no one gets excited about.

 

We recently celebrated my husband’s birthday.

And as I posted earlier, among other things….

I gave him a rock.

Because I’m that kind of wife.

We celebrated at a friend’s house, and naturally he was speechless.

 

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Okay, at first he didn’t know what the hell it was.

But that’s not always a bad thing. And he could honestly say no one had ever given him a rock before… so that should count for something.

 

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But if you thought that was odd?

Witness the gift our friends gave him.

 

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At first it was a box filled with the weirdest packing peanuts I’d ever seen.

 

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Then it was a little box that said..

 

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And then…

 

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And…

 

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Are you noticing the trend?

 

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This went on forever.

 

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And while I’m sure it was funnier with the 3 margaritas I’d had, even sober ….you have to applaud the effort.

Finally he reached the end.

 

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And I thought, oh yeah.

This is going to be good.

I was wrong.

Very, very wrong.

 

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Huh?

 

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Turns out it was a war nickel which had popped up while my husband was playing poker with the guys a while back. Husband is a coin collector, and had explained what it was to the group.

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So….

Yeah.

They gave him a nickel.

And I gave him a rock.

Do we know how to make a birthday boy happy or what?

 

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Because I’m that kind of wife.

 

My husband recently had a birthday.

 

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Yes.

I’m that kind of wife as well, but I digress.

Along with some very nice, serious gifts…

I ordered him something from Amazon.

 

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The box it came in was rather disappointing.

But nothing could dampen the sheer joy I felt at giving him….

A rock.

 

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Yes, Cindy.

I did.

I bought him a rock…

 

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A rock!

Or rather, a solid metal rock replica.

 

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Because after our recent vacation in Arizona, and all the amazing rocks we saw out there… ( did I tell you about that? I seem to remember some subtle mentioning of rocks) …. I had to present my beloved with his very own rock (replica).

And may I just say?

Bravo Amazon.

 

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I don’t know what kind of algorithm you’re running, but as I was searching the mystery/thriller book section?

You recommended a rock.

Talk about knowing your audience.

 

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And so am I.

I never knew Jeff Bezos had time to read my blog.

 

 

 

 

Yay for me.

 

The understanding wife.

I recently celebrated a birthday. (Okay, there was more silent cursing of my advancing years than actual celebrating, but you get the idea.)

The husband had some lovely flowers delivered…

 

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Which have opened quite nicely since then.

 

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As well as a really large card.

 

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The phrase “size doesn’t matter” clearly has no meaning for my other half, as evidenced by his gift.

 

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A monstrously large  (not to mention monstrously expensive)  Breville appliance.

I must have made the mistake of muttering under my breath about needing a new toaster oven recently… because boy, I’ve got one now.

 

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It’s like that old Ginsu knife they used to advertise ad nauseam in the 80’s. It slices, it dices, it cleans your fish.

 

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But… but…

While I appreciate the thought, all I really wanted was toast.

So I unpacked and played with my new toy in between doing hair and makeup and getting ready to go out to dinner as we always do on my  damn it, don’t remind me I’m older  birthday.

Except…. (here comes the understanding wife part) my kind, considerate husband called to say his friend at the office won Bruins tickets and he’d like to go with him down to Boston for the night.

 

 

Yes, he’s a brave soul.

Reasons?

#1…. I turned … never mind what I turned. Suffice it to say it’s generally not an easy age for women.

#2…. I just weaned myself off my estrogen patch a few weeks ago and, have been  experiencing uncontrollable psychotic rages  a little moody.

#3…. I had planned on a few celebratory cocktails. (Which no one should get in the way of and expect to live.)

Regardless, he plowed ahead with all the reasons he should attend while I listened quietly and agreed. The ever understanding wife.

That being said, let me leave you with a word of advice gentlemen….

 

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We women have long memories.