Category Archives: Uncategorized

Just throwing this out there.

 

I rarely blog about anything religious or political.

I have friends on both sides of the aisle. Left and right, liberal and conservative, atheist and Christian. Thankfully I’m an adult who can agree to disagree without coming to blows.

 

 

I don’t engage in Twitter wars or Facebook diatribes.

 

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Although truthfully, it’s been an eye opening experience to see how some of my oldest and dearest friends really feel.  Did I ever know them, know them?

Apparently not.

That being said, the recent attacks on women’s reproductive rights has me incensed enough to post this:

 

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Okay, it’s a little in your face, but basically on point.

Sorry gentlemen, but if you could get pregnant? The world would have drive thru clinics on every corner.

Yes, I’m pro choice.

And I don’t want to start a 350 comment battle of hate on the issue of abortion. But my mother had an illegal back alley procedure in 1943. She was 20 years old, in love for the first time and very naive. The man she thought would marry her…. paid for her to take of it instead. The “doctor” used dirty instruments. She hemorrhaged, almost bled out and had to be rushed to the hospital with a raging infection. Years later, when she married my father and tried to have children… she had 5 miscarriages because of that awful experience. I was her 6th and final pregnancy. Her late in life miracle child.

If the idea of abortion is abhorrent to you? I get it.

Don’t have one. No one’s forcing you..

But the current climate of gender inequality is trying to force women back into those horrible dark rooms…. and that makes me sick.

There.

That’s off my chest.

Now back to your regularly scheduled nonsense.

Tomorrow?

Squirrel acrobatics.

 

 

 

If there’s any better smell….

 

I don’t know what it is.

 

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Freshly cut lilacs.

 

 

Okay, I totally want a pair of crab scissors now.

 

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These two huge lilac bushes live on the side of our house.

 

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(That’s my vase on the ground to the right of them for scale.)

When we moved here 17 years ago there wasn’t much in the way of landscaping , but thankfully there were lilacs.

 

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One white…

 

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One dark purple.

Naturally, my favorite was always the paler shade…. but beggars can’t be choosers.

My girlfriend gave me a pale one 3 years ago, but it’s got a long way to go to catch up to it’s siblings.

 

 

Come on little fella, you can do it.

 

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Of course, from the pace of growth…

I’ll probably be dead before it blooms.

 

 

Good thing the white one is prolific.

 

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Ah….

Lilacs!

Because he can’t stand it when I’m right.

 

He really can’t.

Remember when I blogged about the husband’s new toy not fitting in our old barn/shed?

It looked something like this:

 

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I was right…

And apparently that didn’t sit well with the other half so he did a little remodeling.

 

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This is our old shed/barn that needs to be torn down.

 

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Years ago, it housed a horse.

Now?

 

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It’s a pile of rotted wood.

How rotted?

 

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Really rotted.

It’s an eyesore that drives me nuts every single day.

The fact that it’s still standing defies all logic.

 

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I’ve come to the conclusion that it hates me…

And refuses to die just because it can.

 

 

But back to the tractor.

The husband figured if he could straighten out a door…

 

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He could get it inside.

 

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Which he did, but not far enough inside due to that pesky center pole.

You know the one…

It holds up the rotted roof?

 

 

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Yeah.

We don’t need that.

 

 

Mission accomplished.

 

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He proved me wrong… and got the tractor in the shed.

How long there will be a roof over it is anyone’s guess.

 

Babies!

 

Remember the dandelion eating woodchuck I posted about a while back?

We’ve discovered she lives under our barn.

And yes, she’s a she because…

 

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She has babies!

Baby chuckers… can I get an awwwww?

 

 

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They’re just too cute.

Four in total …but I rarely see them together long enough to get a photograph.

Three is the most I’ve captured so far.

 

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Sweetness!

 

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Here’s one trying to hide under my iron garden bird.

 

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Well, not quite.

More like…

 

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This little one seems to like our back deck.

 

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You can hear him scurrying for cover under the grill… then catch him checking to see if the coast is clear.

 

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This looked like trouble…

 

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But after a few nibbles, he decided he didn’t like geraniums…which was good news for me.

 

 

 

I hate to tell you, but this probably won’t be the last of the baby chucker pics.

You’ve been warned.

 

Say it isn’t so Apple….

 

I just heard Apple is killing iTunes and I’m not happy.

 

 

iTunes and I have spent many happy years together gathering a vast library of music. I’ve happily downloaded the music of my youth, my adolescence, my single years, my married years and my rapidly approaching decrepitude.

I’m invested damn it!

The iPod and I are tight.

 

 

I have the giant one. It holds 40,000 songs and though I haven’t filled it?

I wanted to.

And then I read Apple… in all their infinite  F.U. Tim Cook, you’re no Steve Jobs  wisdom, are breaking iTunes up into different apps and focusing on streaming.

Streaming.

 

 

I don’t want to stream. I want my songs.

My weirdo… no one has ever heard of the band… songs.

The songs I oh so carefully and painfully slowly converted from my 33 1/3 album collection….

(For millennial readers?  33 1/3rd’s are those shiny black discs people bend into bowls and sell at your local flea markets.)

… and the obscure songs I could always find and download from the iTunes store.

Pousette Dart Band’s Yaicha?

 

 

Yeah, I’ve got that.

Moon Martin’s Bootleg Woman?

 

 

Yup. Got that too.

iTunes had everything!

 

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Apple says that our libraries will be safe… if you bought it you can keep it. But will the store be there for future downloads?

 

 

Researching the demise, I found this:

 

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Okay, I run iTunes on Windows…. so I can still breathe.

For now.

But if you need me in the next few weeks? Tough.

I’ll be busy downloading scores of music while I still can.

You know, quality stuff.

Like Ultimate Spinach… and The Flying Burrito Brothers.

 

peace

 

 

Nursery chuckles and organic weed control.

 

I’ve never met a flower I didn’t like, so I never pass a nursery without stopping in to check out the new arrivals.

The other day?

This made me laugh.

 

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Best name for manured soil…

Evah!

 

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And then there was this little succulent…

 

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Who clearly wanted a hug.

 

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When I got home that afternoon and saw all the dandelions popping up on our lawn, I lamented the fact that we don’t use chemicals for weed control.

But then I saw this out our bedroom window.

 

 

 

Bless his little Chucker heart.

He wandered around and ate every bloom he saw.

Suck on that Monsanto!

 

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I knew it!

 

 

For those who are Thrones bereft.

 

Game of Thrones is over…

 

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And whether you loved the ending or not…

You have to admit, it was one helluva ride.

 

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But if you’re feeling sad…

Because Sunday nights no longer have a purpose?

Maybe this will help…

 

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A dragon lamp with different color “flames”.

For those times you really want to yell Dracarys.

 

 

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Yes, they exist.

 

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And the description is blog worthy in and of itself.

 

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Well, I do love lots of Game of Thrones.

And I wouldn’t mind making a dragon gift to my friends.

But the fact that it’s made of high quality plastic? With good detailization?

Plus! Plus!

 

And face it, now that season 8 is finished….

It’s as close to dragons as any of us are going to get.

 

 

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When I die….

 

My epitaph shall read:

Here lies River

She was swallowed by a quince bush.

 

 

 

This is the bush from Hell that lives and multiplies like a rabbit on our property.

 

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Every fall we wack it down to a manageable level, and every spring it comes back with a vengeance.

 

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Yes, the blooms are lovely.

 

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And yes, the bumblebees enjoy it.

 

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Pardon the bee butt shots. Apparently they’re camera shy.

 

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But damn.

It’s only June and the pink spawn of Satan is already reaching the roof line.

 

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So if I should disappear this summer?

Grab a machete and come get me….

 

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It’s already got three window exits blocked.

 

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I fear the doors are next.

 

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Did you know…

 

In 1700’s London, you could purchase insurance against going to Hell?

Proof positive there’s a policy for everything.

 

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And yes, it’s that time again.

 

 

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President Andrew Jackson’s parrot Poll cursed so loudly during his master’s funeral he had to be removed.

Parrots…

You never know what the little bastards will do.

 

 

The LEGO company was founded in Denmark in the 1930’s.

It’s name is an abbreviation for the words leg godt which mean “play well”.

 

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A crocodile’s tongue is attached to the roof of it’s mouth so it doesn’t accidentally bite it when snapping down on prey.

 

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There is a canine condition known as Frito Feet.

It’s a bacterial foot infection that smells like corn chips.

Sorry Fido.

 

 

 

In ancient Greece women counted their age from the day they were married.

This works for me.

I’m 35.

 

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The Hawaiian alphabet only contains 12 letters. Five vowels and seven consonants.

You’d think that would make spelling their names easier, but it doesn’t.

 

 

The most common name for a goldfish in America is Jaws.

 

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Because I’m a very technical gardener.

 

My back is breaking, but the annual planting of annuals is done.

(See what I did there? Word play. I live for that shit.)

 

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A nice combination of pink and white for the stone wall bed.

 

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There’s this pretty daisy-ish one…

 

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And the pink tinged green leafy thingies.

 

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(See what I mean by technical?

Please try to keep up with the detailed scientific plant descriptions.

There may be a quiz.)

 

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I liked this purple violet thingamabob…

 

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So I planted 3 with a couple of petunias.

 

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A few coleus for the only little plot of shade we have.

 

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It will be a miracle if I can keep the slugs off them this year.

I plant, they eat. Slimy little bastards…

Note to self – buy more salt.

 

 

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Orange lilies…

 

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Spikey purple whatchamacallit, an impatient and two soft fuzzy green mounds.

 

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I don’t think the fuzzies bloom…

 

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But they’re silky, delicate and sweet, so I don’t care.

 

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Every year the husband says he’s going to tear down our rotting shed, and every year he doesn’t, so I plant yellow and orange stuff in front of it.

Like this whozit which has both.

 

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If you can recite all the Latin names for those plants?

Bravo.

I tend to read them on the tags at the nursery and then forget them as soon as I get home.

 

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That won’t work.

I don’t know enough rappers.

 

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That’s better.

I do love me some Cleese.