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No, I’m not kidding. And yes, I wish I was.
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Because even though I don’t enjoy elbow deep scrubbing in the commode, I’m not sure I want it roboticized either.
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Electrolyzed water? Why am I having visions of Victor Frankenstein…
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And while I’d love to be delighted by my bathroom… I seriously doubt sitting fully clothed in the tub blowing bubbles would be high on my list.
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The crisis is slowly winding down and Covid humor is harder to find, but here are the latest.
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Sometimes it really is better to bee safe than sorry. ( Feel free to groan. I couldn’t help myself. )
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No doubt!
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You can’t argue with that logic.
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While technically these aren’t virus related jokes, if you’ve done any home improvements in the past year you know the price of lumber and supplies has skyrocketed.
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We were in Lowes the other day ordering shingles for our long overdo roof repair, and trust me… this isn’t far off the mark.
And finally…
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Ouch!
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I’ve never been bothered by spiders. I don’t scream and jump on a chair, I never smash them with a shoe. They’re marvelous bug eaters and if they happen to take up residence where I don’t want them? I happily relocate them outside. So when I saw this on Facebook the other day….
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I was surprised at the outpouring of malice.
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That seems a little extreme.
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Unless you’re dressed as a fly? I highly doubt it.
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So much spider hatred. I mean come on…. some of them are cutie pies.
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There’s a new product shortage right around the corner.
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Yes, it’s true.
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So if you’re hard up for cash? Start digging through your car’s glove compartment for the ketchup you threw in there during your road trip to see the world’s largest ball of twine back in ‘04. That stuff is gold!
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Because the price gouging has begun.
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In reality I guess it makes a perverse type of sense.
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20 packets for $50 doesn’t seem like a bargain to me.
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But in a few months, maybe it will be.
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It started innocently enough with me texting our neighbor this picture.
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She’s a retired psychiatrist who’s taken up stained glass as a hobby. While I appreciate the work that goes into such things, I’ve never been a fan of those run of the mill sun catchers… and the few pieces of her work that I’d seen left a lot to be desired.
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So when I saw that fun pot of glass agave leaves, I passed it along because she’s always looking for ideas. Next thing I knew she was texting me pictures of some of her latest projects…
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And I have to say….
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Her work has come a long way. (That frog!❣️)
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I was so impressed with this owl I offered to buy it, but sadly she had already given him away. But then she sent me this…
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And the husband fell in love, immediately pondering its placement the man cave. While I’m thinking this eagle might be a little large, our neighbor now wants us to visit her studio and browse. She even offered us a custom made piece. How great is that!
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I sincerely hope World War III isn’t around the corner because I’m going to look pretty silly standing on the front line waving a bag of catnip.
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Unless I’m facing a feline army. Then? I’m going to cut years off the conflict and save thousands of lives.
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I posted a picture of Lord Dudley Mountcatten sprawled on my husband’s laptop to Facebook a while back and a girlfriend sent me this.
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I think that could work quite well.
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Required picture of his Lordship.
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Hard no.
If there is ever a club that declines to offer me membership? Please let it be this one.
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Required photo number two.
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And look how happy kitty is with his gift! I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a strategically placed pile of poo in that owner’s future.
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Required photo number three. Dudley is not impressed.
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I live in the country, in a small Maine town. This is never more apparent than when you read their local Facebook page.
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I don’t golf, never have. But if I could hire a personal goat caddy? I might have to start.
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And speaking of goats….
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Rent a goat. Now there’s a small business worth supporting.
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And if you think we’re all about goats, never fear.
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We have worms right next to the milk and butter in our grocery store’s dairy case.
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And finally… are we really doing this now?
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Puppy play dates. What happened to the good old days when neighborhood dogs just met on the corner and sniffed each other butts?
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Sorry, not sorry. These tickle my funny bone.
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Cats are a huge presence in their owner’s (read slaves) lives, so these pictures aren’t far off the mark.
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If you’ve ever been in a hurry to get out of the house and have to dodge a suddenly snake like creature winding madly around your legs, you know what I mean.
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Blocking traffic in mid town? I can see that.
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The leaf on this cat’s head kills me!
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“Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.”
Mark Twain
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Okay, I know I said my last weird experience post was the finale but after I blogged them all… I realized it actually wasn’t. The following is what I wrote three months after my mother passed. Her wish was to be cremated but she never told me what to do with her ashes. Being an only child I agonized over the decision, but knew that part of her should rest somewhere in New Jersey where she spent some of the happiest years of her life. It was an emotional trip for many reasons, but what happened on this particular day really hit home.
Rivergirl
October 20, 2014
I knew….
The third day of our trip started much like the first. My husband was up before dawn and went downstairs for the free…. but barely edible… hotel breakfast. Think watery eggs and rubber sausage.
I took a shower and as I was getting dressed, realized I should do what I had been putting off.
The purpose of our trip was to bring my mother home and I’d been stalling with walks down memory lane. I knew I wanted to spread half of her ashes at the Jersey shore where we’d spent many happy summers. She always loved the sea.
I stood there in the hotel room, feeling sad… missing my mom…. and set about the gruesome physical task. There’s something surreal about holding the remains of your loved one in your hands. The weight of a lifetime.
Of course I started crying. Wondering if I was doing the right thing, doing what she would have wanted. The grief flooded over me like a wave…
And then, when the task was done and she was evenly divided, I smiled…. because I realized I had double baggied her and she would have loved that.
Remember her fondness for baggies?
After I wiped my tears, I reached for my purse which held my much needed makeup… and saw something on the table. The table that had been perfectly empty a half hour before when I stepped in the shower.
I gasped. And started crying again….
It was my mother’s white bobby pin.
She was such a pill about them. Would never use any other color and they’re harder to find than you might think. She hoarded them… and started fretting when she was running low. They were in every room of her apartment, in every pocket of every coat and every sweater she owned. She was never without them…
But I didn’t carry them. Ever. And I certainly didn’t pack one to take on the trip with us. Why would I? My husband didn’t put it there, he was downstairs eating breakfast. I suppose a random white haired maid could have snuck in and dropped it while touching up her ‘do when I was in the shower…. but I’m guessing the odds of that are pretty high.
There’s no reason on earth why a white Bobby pin should have been on that table… except one.
My husband walked in the room a few minutes later, saw me crying and looked lost.
He didn’t believe me when I told him…
But I knew.
I knew she was there with me.
I knew.
To this day I still can’t wrap my mind around what happened. A physical embodiment of spirit? Get the straight jacket ready and tidy up the rubber room, River is on her way.
It’s been 7 years since that crazy bobby pin appeared out of nowhere, and if I think about it too long I begin to doubt it happened at all. But then I walk into our bedroom and look on my bureau under my passel of Alex and Ani bracelets…
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And I know.
I know it did…..
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River's world..... 