.
Crayons and coloring books. The quintessential accessories of an innocent childhood.
Or not.
.
.
I ask you, does anyone really need Penis Pump Periwinkle?
.
.
This has got to be one of the weirdest things I’ve seen in a while… and I just posted about the Poop Strap.
.
.
Everything is a dildo? I beg to differ….
.
.
Anal Bleach Apricot?
I never colored my fruit trees with that when I was young.
.
.
I gave my husband a set of handy dandy pool cue cleaners for Xmas and upon further inspection, I believe English is not the manufacturer’s first language.
.
.
Things are getting serious with the cellar project downstairs. How do I know this?
.
.
Low velocity tools have been purchased and I have to admit…. I’m a little scared.
Upstairs in the office –
.
.
A seemingly appropriate calendar has been placed on my desk.
.
.
Yes…
.
.
I think it’s damn near perfect.
.
.
.
Get ready for a bit of ick factor in the headlines this week.
You’ve been warned.
.
.
I don’t care if it cuts the water bill out completely, I’m not doing it.
.
.
Oh, holy hell. There’s a topic I never gave a second, no less first, thought.
.
.
Jet propelled poop?
.
.
Excuse me while I go throw up.
.
.
It’s statements like these that make me realize how marvelously out of touch I am.
.
.
Well isn’t that just peachy.
.
.
Watch out gentlemen. You may like the fact she makes more money than you, but that luxury comes with a price.
🤣
.
.
Years ago I had a wonderful little purse size green bottle of perfume with a funky top. It was a lightly herbal, somewhat floral refreshing scent. Naturally I couldn’t remember the name of it, but I knew it wasn’t expensive so I went shopping on Amazon just on the off chance I’d see it.
.
.
Green, funky top, inexpensive…needing a new small bottle for my purse, I thought that could be it and ordered one.
I was wrong.
.
.
So very wrong. The stupid thing towers above every other bottle I own and is most definitely not purse sized.
.
.
Here it is next to a bottle of Chanel for scale. I’m sure it’s my fault for not noting the size when I bought it, but damn. Now I’m stuck with what seems like a gallon.
.
.
Lord Dudley Mountcatten’s idea of playing in the snow usually looks like this:
.
.
But after the first small dump of the season last week the husband took his highness out for a winter stroll.
.
.
But as much as Dudley loves the fresh air and being outside, cold feet is not his thing.
.
.
So he found the one bare patch of stone wall…
.
.
Loved on his favorite rock….
.
.
And carefully avoiding as much snow as he could, made his way back inside.
.
.
Lord Mountcatten is a fair weather feline and was pleased when all the snow melted the next day.
.
.
The definition of the word palooza is as follows:
The art of throwing a very drunken extravagent party with a plethora of friends. Whoever is throwing the palooza usually adds their name as a prefix to the word …
So when I saw this advertisement the other day? I called foul.
.
.
There’s simply no room for a plethora of anything between those little strings.
Heck, even using the word panty is stretching it.
.
.
Lord Dudley Mountcatten is not allowed on the dining room chairs.
.
.
So naturally that’s just where he wants to be.
.
.
And while I know I should be a strict cat parent and refuse to let him play with his feather ball there…
.
.
He’s just too damned cute to chastise.
.
.
The problem is…
.
.
He knows it.
😉
.
.
I’m blaming the high tech toaster I received for Christmas on the first two ridiculous products that showed up on my feed.
.
.
A smiling toast lamp? Jesus wept…
.
.
And if I don’t want toast lighting my way to the bathroom, I certainly don’t need toast warming my hands either.
.
.
Stickers on my eyelids? Just… no.
.
.
Let me guess… when the water level is at half, I’ve drunk half the water? Brilliant. I never would have figured that out on my own.
.
.
I am not, nor have I ever been… a Sylvester Stallone fan.
Rocky was cheesy.
Rambo? Please…
.
.
But since I discovered Yellowstone (and binged frantically to catch up) and since I love Yellowstone (and wanted to watch the prequels) I started streaming Paramount Plus which is where I found this –
.
.
Premise. Dwight “The General” Manfredi is a New York Mafia capo who’s just finished serving a 25-year prison sentence. Upon release, his boss sends him to Tulsa, Oklahoma, to establish criminal operations there. Not knowing anyone in the area, The General seeks a new crew to help establish his empire.
Sly is older, greying and not nearly as annoying as he was years ago. His character is out of touch, baffled by new technology, and a veritable New Yawk fish out of water in cowboy country. I hate to say it, but he plays the part to perfection.
This show is funny… he extorts the hippie owner of a weed shop for income and sleeps with a slightly disgraced ATF officer.
It’s dramatic…. Dwight is estranged from his family, loses a brother and tries to rebuild a relationship with his daughter.
And oh yeah, it’s violent. Mafia. Drugs. Gun running biker gangs. Need I say more?
For the first time in my life I’m looking toward to watching Sylvester Stallone. And if that’s not a miracle? I’ll eat kale.
.
.
I can’t remember if I’ve done this one before, so if I have?
Just humor me and play again.
.
.
For me there’s only one answer.
The smell of freshly cut grass. It’s my absolute favorite smell in the world. Of course after searching for a meme to include in this post….
.
.
I may have to rethink this.
.
.
Damn. Makes me wonder if our lawn is cursing me every time I step on it …
.
