I woke up to a winter wonderland this morning as our first real snow of the season fell overnight.
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It wasn’t the 6-8 inches they predicted for our area…
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But it coated everything in glorious white… so that’s alright with me.
What wasn’t a welcome sight?
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The creature highlighted here.
The tiny devil who wreaked havoc with us, our house and our barn last year. The little red bitch with sharp teeth. I thought we’d seen the last of her after numerous evictions and nest busting this fall. But no…
If it stood still.. I used to decorate it for Christmas. I’ve strung lights on roofs, railings, windows, stone walls, mailbox posts and well houses. I’ve had lighted reindeer, snowflakes, trees, snowmen, holly leaves and yes, an alligator.
Trust me when I say stringing lights and keeping them lit is a full time job in Maine winters. It’s not for the faint hearted and over the years I’ve simply lost the will. These days I throw some wreaths on the windows and doors, some candles in the windows and call it good.
But every once in a while I’ll see something that makes me want to decorate again…
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Christmas chickens!
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You have to admit… that’s different.
And while I don’t have a farm, I do have a large barn where those birds would look right at home.
We had our first light dusting of snow last week and the husband thought he’d let Lord Dudley Mountcatten experience it firsthand. (Or paw, as the case may be)
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A thorough sniff was taken from the doorway.
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And tentative steps were taken…
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Then he beat feet under the table where there was no snow.
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A few seconds were spent in internal debate before scuttling out the other end and trotting back to the warm house…
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Where a not so subtle request was made to ignite the heating pad.
Impressed by snow?
I think that’s a resounding no.
6-8 inches are forecast tonight. Can’t wait to plop him in the middle of that tomorrow.
The staircase in the man cave/Barn Mahal has been put into service as an impromptu bulletin board.
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Photos, stickers, and funny cards have begun to surround the magnetic bottle opener.
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The husband has had this one since he was 25 years old. He thought it was funny then…
Now? Not so much.
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That gem was lodged inside an old book he bought at an antique store.
But back to the title of my post.
Does a moose drool?
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Thanks to my blogging friend mistermuse, I can authoritatively say yes…. at least in Missoula Montana where the Big Sky Brewery produced a beer whose label was saved and thoughtfully mailed to yours truly.
It’s the perfect addition to a Maine bar… and I’m sure we will now be the envy of all our friends.
My acupuncturist recommended I use a heating pad on my knee to stimulate blood flow and aid in healing, so I keep one plugged in next to my reading chair in the living room. When not in use it’s tucked in the corner…
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Where Lord Dudley Mountcatten lets us know in no uncertain terms…
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This is not acceptable.
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It must then be moved to the ottoman, and turned on to warm his royal person.
A friend gave me a reindeer for my birthday a few years ago.
Sadly it wasn’t a real one, just a Christmas decoration in a box.
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Ironically, the timing of this gift coincided with my I’m tired of fighting with f*cking lights that don’t stay lit, snowflakes that flip up on the roof and trees that spend more time lying on the ground than standing up change of heart about festive displays… but for some unfathomable reason, I decided to break it out of its box and put it to use this year.
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Easy to assemble? My ever widening ass. The legs wobbled, the antlers kept falling off and the stabilizing bars didn’t stabilize anything.
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Did I mention how pleased my husband was to secure said reindeer in the first snowfall of the season? It just started when I was taking pictures, but trust me.. it was cold, wet and windy.
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The stakes that come in the box? Useless. The wind blew the deer over as soon as we finished.
Solution?
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Drill screws into a flat stump and zip tie the reindeers legs to them for anchorage.
The decorating gods laughed and said, nice try suckers… and blew it over again.
Enter the sledgehammer.
I thought that might be for my head….
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But thankfully it was just to pound two thick iron stakes in the ground. ( side note – those suckers aren’t coming up until spring )
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A roll of safety wire and 20 frozen fingers later…
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There is a lighted reindeer on our front lawn.
Whether he will still be standing there tomorrow is anyone’s guess.
I wasn’t here when assembly started so I missed the table being positioned, leveled, slated and beeswax sealed …
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But arrived in time to see the fabric being laid. ( Upgraded professional fabric, as no mere felt would do for the man cave extraordinare)
If you’ve never had a pool table installed? Let me tell you… it’s a lot of work. These two were at it non stop for over 2 hours.
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But the result was perfection.
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Viola!
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Now that’s a pool table. It was a dark rainy day so the lighting doesn’t do it justice, but the finish is lovely…
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With the maple looking positively tiger like along the rails.
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Before.
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After.
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Before.
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After.
A table worthy of the Barn Mahal.
Please note the husband’s cue stick on the right in the last picture. He was playing as soon as the installation crew left and I had a hard time getting photos without his hovering presence.
I had to drag him out of there for dinner last night and he went right back to play after breakfast this morning. I don’t think I’m exaggerating in the least to say he loves it.
In July we ordered a pool table. We were told it would take approximately 8 weeks to arrive.
They lied.
As the months passed, I began wondering if we would see it this calendar year… but on Monday they called and said they could deliver Thursday.
At this point my husband broke into an impromptu happy dance and made plans to gift our old (ugly ass, low quality… but hey, it was free) table to the friend who’d been hinting he wanted it.
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This was the gifted table that served as inspiration for the storage barn to man cave transformation.
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And while I do love the resulting Barn Mahal, I can’t say I’m sorry to see it’s wobbly, chipped and worn out butt go.
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Did I mention it was heavy?
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Really, really heavy. Not to mention awkward to maneuver.
So while the men were struggling to move it across the room, yours truly had an idea.
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A plant pot roller.
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Pure genius if I do say so myself.
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It rolled across the floor, out the door, across the porch..
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And right into the truck…
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On its way to the sweet little old man who comes over to play with my husband most Sunday afternoons. He’s a widower… and is putting the table in his living room.
Which, if he wasn’t a widower, would probably result in him living alone from the divorce anyway.
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And yes, those are the pillows off our guest room bed being used for cushioning. The husband took them without telling me… bringing him one step closer to divorce.
😉
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Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.