Tag Archives: marriage

Uncategorized

Why is nothing ever easy?

19 Comments

 

Take staining the deck for example.

I do it every few years, and that time had rolled around again.

 

 

So I went to Lowes and had them mix this color.

 

 

A nice warm chocolate brown.

Then I duded up in my paint clothes, gathered my brushes and hacked back the boxwood shrubs that were in the way.

 

 

All was well…. until I opened my can of stain.

 

 

And saw that.

Does that look like a warm chocolate brown to you?

 

 

It wasn’t even close.

And looked positively awful when painted on the deck railing. Like liquid peanut butter.

 

 

Blech.

Way too light.

Knowing I’d have to return it but not wanting to change clothes and drive 40 minutes to Lowes, I ran up to the local hardware store for a darker stain.

Of course they were almost out of stain and only had one choice…. which I bought, went home and tried.

 

 

Nope.

Way too dark.

I was beginning to feel like Goldilocks…

 

 

And trudged back to the hardware store to return the second can.

By the time I got back, the husband told me to hold off staining because he wanted to replace all the old rotted railings with something nicer.

Another project?

I’m not sure I have it in me.

And how long will I have to live with a multicolored railing?

 

 

Stay tuned for this and other equally as uninteresting answers.

Uncategorized

They do come in threes.

15 Comments

 

First my husband wanted to clean out the barn.

Then he planted some trees.

And if those two things weren’t miraculous enough? I woke up the other morning to this:

 

 

The husband, behind the baby barn.. with a pick axe.

 

 

Rototilling some dirt the old fashioned way.

 

 

I couldn’t believe it was happening.

 

 

But he was finally willing to do something with the giant patch of weeds he wouldn’t let me turn into a garden bed.

 

 

He turned the soil over.

He raked it.

He even *gasp!* spread grass seed.

 

 

I couldn’t believe it.

 

 

Then he pulled this out…

 

 

And I could.

 

 

No new fangled high tech sprinkler for my husband. No sir.

Not when one from the middle of the last century he bought at a yard sale for a quarter is available.

 

 

Did it work?

Well, not quite.

 

 

The twirling sprinkler didn’t twirl…. but the husband was not deterred.

 

 

He twirled it manually with the rake handle while I tried (unsuccessfully) not to laugh.

But the biggest miracle of all?

 

 

Was his sacred pile of dirt.

That weed encrusted dirt pile has been an eyesore for almost 5 years. I was forbidden to touch it because, it’s dirt.

He might need it one day.

 

 

But…

 

 

He dug into it….

 

 

Leveled it flat and spread grass seed.

 

 

Though he did switch to my more modern hose attachment for the final watering.

So there you have it. Proof positive miracles do happen.

And come in threes.

Uncategorized

Grill shopping.

50 Comments

 

The unthinkable happened last week.

Our beloved… and only 3 years old damn it… Weber grill died. Not wanting to spend a summer without one, we immediately went hunting for it’s replacement.

I wanted a small one without a side burner, so naturally all the husband looked at were large ones with side burners.

Ah, marriage.

 

 

Have you been grill shopping lately?

Holy crap!

I’ve paid less for cars.

 

 

Here’s the husband taking one for a test drive.

Literally driving it…. he spun it around a corner and had it up on 2 wheels.

Because Christ, at over a thousand dollars? That bastard better taxi us to the pub on its day off.

I found one I wanted.

Really wanted.

 

 

It came with wine!

But no. The husband dragged me to 5 other stores and ended up choosing one from Tractor Supply.

 

 

Large?

 

 

Oh yeah.

 

 

Much larger than we need, but it has stainless steel grates and radiant embers.

What the hell are radiant embers?

I have no idea….

But I bought some lovely filets and we’re going to find out tonight.

 

Uncategorized

Well, he thought he was done.

27 Comments

 

The baby barn.

 

download

 

Now that we’d finished the  holy crap did it really take that long  construction and paint, it was time for me to begin the beautification process. This meant doing something with the empty flower bed and border.

The ground has always been uneven there… and when I mulched, it tended to wash downhill. So I gathered up a bunch of the old weathered bricks I love and started stacking.

While the husband was watching.

Best.

Idea.

Ever.

 

IMG_4151

 

Before I knew it?

 

IMG_4150

 

 

He was on his hands and knees telling me I was doing it wrong.

 

IMG_4156

 

And while I normally don’t react well to that statement… if it means someone will step in and do all the work?  I can swallow my pride.

In no time flat it was being done properly.

 

IMG_4157

 

As he gleefully pointed out how my eyeballed straight line wasn’t so straight.

 

IMG_4162

 

Look at him with his little level.

 

IMG_4158

 

Isn’t that special?

 

IMG_4165

 

I damn near burst out laughing when he started trimming the bush with a pair of scissors.

Who is this man, and what have you done with my husband?

 

IMG_4168

 

Be still my heart.

He actually dipped into his sacred pile of dirt that’s been behind the baby barn since we built the big barn years ago and…  look!

He even spread it.

 

 

I don’t mind telling you the rare sight of my husband gardening was positively orgasmic.

While he loves to mow the lawn and chop down trees…. anything resembling planting, weeding, mulching, bordering… aka gardening?

 

images

 

It was a miraculous sight.

 

IMG_4169

 

Unfortunately it used up a lot more material than I had, so I sent out an SOS for additional bricks.

 

IMG_4173

 

Next door neighbor to the rescue.

 

IMG_4175

 

They have a lovely old farmhouse with a huge 3  (4?)  story barn.

 

IMG_4174

 

Which the husband was scoping out while I loaded bricks into the truck.

 

IMG_4176

 

She had enough to let us  (and by us, I mean him. All I did was take pictures and moan with pleasure)  finish.

 

IMG_4178

 

And I’m quite pleased with the results.

 

 

 

Uncategorized

Another miracle.

23 Comments

 

Strange things are happening at Casa River this year.

First, the husband wanted to clean out the big barn  ( Okay, he didn’t really. It was just a bit of organizing… but I’m counting it.)

Second, the husband helped me make a garden bed.  ( I would have laid money on that never happening. )

And a week ago…

 

IMG_4206

 

I looked out back….

 

IMG_4207

 

And saw the husband planting a tree.

Planting! Not chopping down.

Somewhere in America, pigs are flying.

 

IMG_4209

 

Okay, he didn’t buy them.

 

IMG_4239

 

And only one of the three stands taller than my knee, but hey.

It’s still a miracle.

 

IMG_4241

 

He dug them up from the wood line and I seriously doubt he got enough roots to make them viable…. which is why I told him they were going to need lots of water for the first few weeks.

 

IMG_4242

 

Shall I give you one guess who has to drag that water to the far reaches of our property line because we only have 200 feet of hose and it won’t reach?

Yeah.

I didn’t think so.

Apparently even miracles have limits.

Uncategorized

Behold the majesty.

40 Comments

 

The majesty  (and the God damn miracle I’m not divorced)  that is the completed baby barn remodel.

And yes even though it’s as small as a shed, there was a horse living in it before we moved in, so it’s a barn.

A baby barn.

And I have the hay holder thingies to prove it.

 

 

Please note ‘hay holder thingies’ may not be the correct equine term, but I was born in Jersey. The only thing I know about horses is who placed in the fourth at Belmont.

We started with this….

 

IMG_4776

 

And finished with this….

 

IMG_4084

 

Looks a little better than before, eh?

No comments on the empty garden bed, that has yet to be redone.

Before….

 

IMG_4775

 

After…

 

IMG_4082

 

Before….

 

IMG_4774

 

After….

 

 

And to think it only took us a 10 mere months.

 

IMG_4085

 

Which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We started it’s larger father in 2012…. and haven’t really finished that yet either.

 

rush

 

Yup.

That’s our motto.

 

Uncategorized

When my husband says let’s go for a ride….

28 Comments

 

You never know where you’ll end up. Pre Covid 19… it was usually worth the effort.

Now?

 

 

Not so much.

The man drove a half an hour… for water.

Why?

Because his office threw out a water cooler. Need I say more?

We arrived, and I elected to sit in the car. A girl can only stand so much excitement. But I was waiting… and waiting… and finally had to check the progress.

Never having been to a water store, I’m by no means an expert. But I’m guessing the water you’re paying for…

 

 

The highly purified water?

 

 

Isn’t supposed to be on the floor.

After he talked to the machine and they came to an understanding….

 

 

All was well.

 

 

And now the big barn has clean cold water by the door.

Will the husband ever drink it? Probably not, but don’t miss the point.

The machine was free.

 

Uncategorized

What a nightmare.

28 Comments

 

Saturday morning on Memorial Day weekend we planned to finish the baby barn remodel. But that didn’t happen, because I started hearing the scritchedy scratch every homeowner dreads.

Squirrels in da house!

I thought they were in the attic, then the walls… but finally pinned it down to the eaves. And I was certain I knew how they got in.

 

 

Please look at the upper right hand corner, behind the lights.

 

 

It’s been like that since we moved in…. 18 years ago. The previous owner’s gerry rigged spotlight installation.

Naturally, ‘Close Hole’ has been on the top of my honey do list for 17 1/2 years because birds have been nesting in there.

 

 

So the husband grumbled, and cursed, and got a ladder to deal with it.

Which is when I heard the scritchedy scratching…. somewhere else.

 

 

In this corner, under the hanging plant.

 

 

So we yanked back the bushes, grabbed a pry bar and started pulling off decking and lattice….

 

 

To discover the noise was coming from inside the vinyl siding corner post. I pounded and knocked and banged on that post like a wild woman and before long?

Baby red squirrels were tumbling out of it like a clown car. They were terrified, and scattered to the 4 winds… so we plugged up the holes and called it good.

Mission accomplished.

 

 

Well, not quite.

To be continued….