Tag Archives: martini

Quick… list them on eBay!

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On our way home from our scenic drive the other day we stopped for a cocktail ( or two ).

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Repeat after me… martinis are not made with rum. Nope. Uh uh. Never. Cherry Gin Ricky it is.

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Nice flavor, but a little too sweet so I asked the bartender to dial back the grenadine on #2. Bartenders are wonderful people, so helpful and attentive to our needs.

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Cocktails with my husband always requires food, so he ordered mussels while I opted for Truffle fries. Both were yummy but the real news? Even after I declined ketchup, 3 packets made their way to our table.

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Oh, the extravagance! After the waitress said she couldn’t take them back due to Covid rules… and when my husband remembered there was a shortage causing people to list them on eBay for $15 per… he scooped them up and brought them home. Where they’ll languish in the drawer until the next global pandemic lockdown.

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Pandemic humor.

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Because I’m still laughing. (Mostly at myself, but hey… you’ve got to work with what you’ve got.)

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Actual selfie of author

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Now that’s what I call following the CDC guidelines.

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Wow. Now I’m really glad we got another cat.

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Agreed. I listen to my husband’s all the time and trust me, they would be greatly improved with a keg or two.

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I vaguely remember wandering aimlessly through brick and mortar stores sometime in the distant past….

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Technically this last one isn’t pandemic humor… but we’ve all spent so much time on social media lately it seemed appropriate.

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Time traveler …. the finale.

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Yes, I’ve finally reached the end of words that were added to the dictionary in the year of my birth.

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It’s been an enlightening journey.

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Umami. In Japanese it means “essence of deliciousness”, but you might know it better as MSG.

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Wagyu , a heavily marbled Japanese beef. I can’t say I’ve ever tried it but it’s supposed to be fabulous. And it better be, I read they give the cows beer to stimulate their appetites and massage them with Saki. At least they meet their end happy.

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Yay. Seeing that this was the year I graced the planet with my presence, this word needs no explanation.

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Zester. River loves her some citrus so I’m thrilled to take credit for this handy dandy kitchen tool.

Lemon zest makes everything better, and if you’ve never tried it? Add a pinch to your lemon drop martini.

Cheers!

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Time Traveler Part 3

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Let’s word.

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My birth year seems to have been full of scientific additions that mean absolutely nothing to me.

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But dragon fruit? I had a martini made from those once and it was lovely.

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Elevator music? Great, the next time Barry Manilow comes on at the mall everyone will blame me.

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Fetal position? I’m ashamed to say I have assumed that after a night of too many martinis…. and it was far from lovely.

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Hotdog? Now that I think about it my mother always called them frankfurters. Maybe she was a Rocky Horror Picture Show fan after all.

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And finally Japanese quail, which now that I think about it…. looks a little bit like me after a years worth of non stop Covid lockdown cooking and eating.

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Beauty products I probably need, but won’t buy.

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This first one makes me laugh because I’ve been saying it for years.

Don’t waste your money on expensive wrinkle creams ladies… just get some spackle and a putty knife to fill in those cracks.

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See?

Same idea… different packaging.

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Bad pun aside, if I want to slather egg white on my face? I’ll wait until it’s time to bake blueberry coffee cake again.

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No plastic egg required.

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This has always baffled me.

It’s ACID…. and peels off a layer of your skin to boost that brightness. Vegan?

Well no shit.

How many cows do you know who are filled with acid?

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Silicone mask brush?

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Looks like another putty knife to me.

Finally, there’s lip lifter.

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Lip lifter.

For Christ’s sake. I have boob lifting bras and butt lifting panties …. now you want me to lift my lips?

I give up.

Gravity, do what you will. As long as I can still lift the martini glass?

I’m good.

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