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When I was flipping through my old baby book that was recently rescued from the cave of crap cellar, something interesting fell out.
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It was from my pediatrician’s prescription pad and instead of filling the younger version of me with drugs and antibiotics as doctors do today, it recommended a few simple home remedies for colds and sore throats that mothers have been using since time began.
Those really were the good old days.
🙂
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I’m a firm believer in the old adage just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. It holds true for numerous scenarios:
Can I buy three pairs of the same shoe in different colors because they look great and fit really well? I can, but I shouldn’t.
Can I drink half a bottle of tequila? I can, but I shouldn’t.
Can I beat my husband over the head when he drags more of his crap up from the cellar and deposits it all over the house? I can, but I shouldn’t.
Okay… bad example. I probably should do that last one, but you get the idea.
But one the things I know shouldn’t ever be done?
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This is real. They’re very close.
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Wrong, in so many ways. These creatures went extinct fur a reason. Leave them in peace.
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The polar ice caps are melting, sea levels are rising. Polar bears are already dying from the diminished ice flows, why in the world would you want to recreate an animal that thrived in sub zero temps when our planet is warming? It seems beyond cruel to me.
And two days after I read that article?
This…
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And if you’re okay with that? Next up on their wish list is a saber toothed tiger. Imagine the hilarity that will ensue in the neighborhood when that kitty gets loose.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
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Or want, but I’m posting it anyway.
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And TSA is worried about my shampoo bottle? Geesh.
This next headline falls under the category ‘you know you’re a redneck when’….
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Because nothing says I’ll love you forever like a Chicken McNugget.
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Stop drooling Mark. I doubt your new neighbors would approve.
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If their pasta recipes include footwear? I’m going to pass….
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Scrolling down my Facebook feed the other day I stumbled on a page of Maine artists.
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I really liked this person’s watercolors.
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And thought they would make wonderful cards.
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Wondering if they sold any, I tried to gain access only to find you couldn’t join the group unless you were an artist.
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I figured I could lie and say yes… cocktail pouring is an art, right?…. but you had to submit samples of your work so that didn’t seem feasible.
Guess the notecards aren’t in my future.
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Let’s start with the required weekly photo of Lord Dudley Mountcatten.
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Say what you will about cats, the creatures know how to relax.
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This marketing strategy seemed a bit extreme for fresh water from the Alps. Death isn’t normally what I look for when buying natural spring water… but to each their own.
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The husband had been sputtering about a hot air popper for a while now, so I broke down and bought him one. Aside from breaking the top cover on the second go around, it looks like he hasn’t quite mastered the proper kernel to bowl ratio yet either….
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A tent for office naps? I fail to see how this won’t be noticed by management.
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As we began, so shall we end.
Lord Dudley Mountcatten, looking less than pleased with the photographer.
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Have you ever seen a picture of someone and known you weren’t getting the full story?
Look at 3 year old Jeffrey Dahmer, wasn’t he a cute little tyke?
Look at prim and proper Lizzie Borden, nary an ax in sight.
So the next time you see the famous Grant Wood painting American Gothic?
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Know that there could have been a little extra something extra going on at the edge of the frame.
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Those socks!
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Ladies – do you remember back in the day when your friends hosted those annoying Tupperware or Home Interior parties? I never wanted any of those products but my girlfriends would beg me to come to boost their attendance numbers. I hated the silly games and the forced sisterhood of wives who had nothing better to do than discuss the merits of the new and approved bowls that burped…. but I went, because I’m a good friend.
When those home party invitations started to wane and then disappeared completely? I was thrilled.
When the Covid pandemic introduced everyone to Zoom and my friends discovered the joy of hosting a party virtually? I was much less thrilled.
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Yes, that’s an invite to a friend’s virtual, high pressure, please log on and buy something so I can reach my sales goal and receive the free gift I never would have bought for myself anyway, party.
To make her happy I accepted the invite and logged on at the appropriate time. I virtually waved hello to the sales rep of the company I’d never heard of and boosted her attendance numbers. About to slip out the digital back door unnoticed, I figured what the hell… I might as well check out what they were selling.
And may I just say? Wow.
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Onyx nipple clamps and an Over the Moon vibrator?
I have to be honest… it almost made me miss the bowls that burped.
😳
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You’re here, what else are you gonna do?
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This one got me thinking…. because to be honest? I’ve lead a charmed life and don’t have many regrets. I don’t tend to do many things I don’t want to do, so this was a puzzler.
I could say – accompany my husband to those boring military reunions he insists on attending… but he likes having me there and I love him, so what are ya gonna do?.
I could say – try those homemade kale chips my friend made especially for me because she just knew I would love them. I didn’t. Blech! 🤢
But for this question I think I have to say visiting Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia. We had a little person with us so she was thrilled…
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But paying $20 to park and $250 for four of us to walk around plastic fantastic town is not my idea of a good time. I knew I’d hate it and I did. I’ve always despised theme parks and Disneyland like amusements… they’re eye popping-ly overpriced , crowded and above all? Fake.
That picture was taken in their “European village” and sorry, but I wasn’t buying it. I’ve been to France and nothing about their French section felt the least bit Gallic.
So I’m not going back to Busch Gardens… what are you never doing again?
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Admit it, at least once in your life you’ve wondered about this.
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And no, it’s not because marble is cold.
“Ancient Greece was a highly masculinist culture,”
photographer Ingrid Berthon-Moine, who created a
series in which she captured images of ancient
statues’ testicles, told Hyperallergic. “They
favoured ‘small and taut’ genitals, as opposed to
big sex organs, to show male self-control in
matters of sexuality. Today, the modern users as in
commerce, cinema, and advertising converted it
into a mass commodity telling us about
domination and desirability, size matters and the
bigger, the better.”
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She’s got a point. I’ve yet to meet a modern man who wanted to be regarded as small and taut.
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Art historian Ellen Oredsson added on the same
topic that people with larger penises were seen to
be “foolish, lustful, and ugly”, while Ancient Greek
playwright Aristophanes writing of the ideal male
traits as “a gleaming chest, bright skin, broad
shoulders, tiny tongue, strong buttocks, and a
little prick.”
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There you have it.
Although according to Aristophanes, you might have a hard time finding it.
🤣
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My still bored by retirement husband was back in the underground den of detritus yesterday stacking crap on his newly constructed shelves.
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It shouldn’t surprise you to learn they didn’t take long to fill.
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We now have slightly more organized floor to ceiling crap. Among the treasure?
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Mildew covered high tech.
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An ancient rusted fire extinguisher.
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And a box of money… which if I had known was down there, I would have cashed in years ago..
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