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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. This year’s squirrels are absolute porkers!
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Check out this Jabba the Hutt wannabe hanging out on our driveway the other day.
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That’s some seriously impressive girth.
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And as a friend commented on my Facebook page…
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It’s time for small town news again…. so city folk can see what they’re missing.
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No worries. Said piggy was reunited with his family and is safely back home.
The want ads in small rural towns tend to look a bit different.
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Spleeny- New England : peevish and irritable with hypochondriac inclinations.
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I’m almost afraid to ask why someone wants to rehome a skeleton.
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I’m going to pass this one on to my husband because he came home from breakfast with the boys the other day bitching that his omelette had gone up a dollar.
I know I’m paying more for groceries, it stands to reason restaurants are as well.
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In case you’re wondering what to get that special someone for Christmas this year….
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There you have it.
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A tree shaped butt plug. It’s festive! And a perfect way to ram Christmas up your Scroogy friend’s ass.
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Do people really make major butt plug investments?
I’m woefully out of touch.
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Yes, we’re still doing these.
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The easy answer is dust bunnies, but let’s actually take a look. I’ve been known to use the space under our bed for storage so there’s no telling what we’ll find.
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As of today, there are two things. A box of extra dishes….
Because #1 – you can never have too many dishes. And #2 – when the current pattern you’re using hits the sale rack, you stock up.
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The other item crammed under our bed is a turntable used to convert vinyl into MP3 files. The husband bought it for my birthday a while back because I have a massive album collection. He also bought me the iPod that holds 35,000 plus songs…. so I spent countless hours ( read days, weeks, months ) playing and converting the obscure music of my youth.
Moon Martin? Check!
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The Flying Burrito Bothers? Sure.
And man, did I love me some Del Fuegos.
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So fess up, what’s under your bed?
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You never know what you’ll find when you go antique shopping. Suffering from a nervous disorder?
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Plug in for instant relief. Or electrocution …
Searching for a few taxidermied squirrel asses?
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Look no more.
I actually wanted to buy the smaller one of these for the man cave… ( it’s the closest I’ll ever get to killing that little red bitch who chews through our walls ) but the husband wouldn’t let me.
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Need to give multiple fingers at once? They have that too.
And finally, if you want to suck out the souls of your grandchildren this Christmas?
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Vintage Santa is waiting with open arms.
😳
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Things might be winding down on my global plague series, but here are a few more….
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You and me both brother.
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I can vouch for that.
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Oh, the horror!
And don’t tell me you go there for the wings, they’re not that good.
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It does make you wonder what untold embalming properties heroin has….
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Yup.
That’s where we are.
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After a long leisurely stroll around town…
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And along the waterfront…
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It was time for a long over due visit to our absolutely favorite place to eat… The Boat House Bistro. Contrary to its name, it doesn’t sit on the water. And while that might put some visitors off, you don’t go there for the view.
Even at 2:45 on a Saturday afternoon, on a late November day devoid of tourists, the place was packed. First floor dining was full so we climbed up to the bar on the second. (Third floor is only open for outdoor seating in the summer)
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Happily sipping a Cosmo in front of the wine taps (there are two of them, with a total of 8 wines available) I perused the menu and was overjoyed to find my two favorites were still there.
This place has fresh seafood down to an art and I have never had a bad meal.
My appetizer? Spicy Cajun shrimp on cheesy grits with garlic, scallions, tomato and smoky bacon.
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All my life I thought I hated grits. I lived down south for 18 years and never cooked nor ordered them. We moved back to Maine, discovered the Bistro and wham! I’m eating grits and am tempted to lick the bowl. Who knew?
To be honest that appetizer could serve as a meal, it’s pretty rich. But I will never pass up the chance to eat this:
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Perfectly pan seared giant sea scallops on a bed of creamy mushroom risotto with arugula, truffle oil and shaved Parmesan.
I hate to disappoint my husband, but damn.
It’s almost better than sex.
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And speaking of husbands, he ordered a lovely seafood scampi which was bursting with shrimp, sea scallops and lobster.
Meals here aren’t cheap (almost $200 including tip) but you get your money’s worth and I have yet to leave unsatisfied or without a doggie bag.
Dessert?
We didn’t even look.
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Yes, your favorite series about dead bodies is back.
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And today’s chapter is aptly named…
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Let’s dig in, shall we?
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You have to wonder what genius first came up with that idea.
“Hmm… what should we do with great Uncle Mortimer’s remains? I know! Let’s cover him in honey and bring a chunk of his thigh to the next neighborhood potluck.”
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Honeyed urine and poop. I’m beginning to notice a trend here….
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Mummies cure farting?
You heard it here first people.
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A wandering uterus is a terrible thing…. but I would think using dung to coax it back in place would have the opposite effect, as in “Hell no Mabel. I’m outta here!”
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The day dawned cool, but clear and sunny so we decided to head for the coast.
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One of our favorite spots is a quaint old fishing village turned tourist mecca.
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Boothbay Harbor is filled with nice shops and galleries and restaurants….
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And off season is the perfect time to stroll across the historic footbridge that connects opposite sides of the harbor.
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The bridge house has long been a tourist favorite.
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And this year there are placards explaining history and points of interest scattered about the town.
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Ol’ Bill sounds like my kind of guy.
👍
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Another new addition to the bridge are a collection of love locks. Boothbay Harbor isn’t Paris, France…but apparently they’re trying.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the vintage hardware store up the road is responsible for this and has laid in a giant selection of locks in anticipation of the trend.
Mainers are nothing if not practical.
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When I was writing the post about my beloved small batch artisan gin, I searched Google images for an ‘Oh, the horror!’ meme…
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This was what I chose, but it was the image that popped up first that had me a trifle bewildered.
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As you probably know by now, I’m a lefty.
A tree hugging, pro choice, marriage equality, liberal Democrat. I believe in exploring alternative energy sources, saving the environment and climate change. I advocate for voting rights, helping those less fortunate and the wealthy paying their fair of taxes.
I want a strong economy, a support system for veterans and strict regulations on global polluters.
What I have never wanted, no less ever considered?
Mutant armored capybaras.
What. The. Utter. …
What?
If someone on the other side of the political spectrum could respectfully explain this… I’d be most appreciative.
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River's world..... 