Men are very different creatures.

Example?

I’m neat and organized. When I start a job everything is laid out, prepped and ready to go.

The husband? Not so much.

His latest weekend project is putting up interior walls in our barn.

It’s a lovely barn, at least from the outside.

 

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And he built it by himself, nights and weekends for years.

 

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I love to sit on the porch and read….. but try not to go inside. It’s a large space and he’s filled it with totally useless crap.

So when it came time to put up walls? There wasn’t a lot of room.

 

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This is how he works.

 

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Clearing  a few feet as he goes along.

The very sight of it makes me twitch.

 

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And if you’re wondering why he has a microwave, a toaster oven and a broken water cooler in the barn? It’s because his office was throwing them out.

Need I say more?

 

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And yes.

That is a giant bullet behind the box of wooden shoe forms.

Please don’t ask.

Because Boothbay Harbor is never a bad idea…..

 

Of course in the summer, when it’s full of tourists it can be a bit crazy… but we managed to snag an outdoor table at our favorite place.

No, it’s not directly on the water…

 

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But ever since they tore down the old bowling alley….

 

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And the new condos that are slated for construction haven’t sprung up yet, there’s a view.

 

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But you don’t go to Boathouse Bistro for the views.

You go for the food.

Pan seared citrus scallops drizzled with orange oil on creamy parmesan risotto.

 Heaven on a plate right there.

 

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If you go, try a Harborside lemonade.

Proof positive everything is better with vodka.

50 is the new 30?

Not even close.

Everything started to go downhill on me at that age…. literally and figuratively.

Now at 55?

I may not look it, but I feel it.

Back pain?  (I used to be able to bend like a pretzel, what the hell happened?)

Unexplained aches and stiffness?  ( Groaning upon rising from a seated position is not sexy.  Not at all. )

Fatigue for no good reason?  (Thank you menopause, as if the damned hot flashes aren’t bad enough.)

And let’s not talk about the weight gain, bunions and hair sprouting where hair has never sprouted before.

Really.

Let’s not!

 

Summertime is project time….

 

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And the garage/woodshed/storage building is getting a long over due vinyl siding face lift.

 

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First,  the  husband had to be bribed, cursed, nagged  rotted wood had to be replaced.

 

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And there was plenty of that.

Of course, we weren’t expecting the surprise the  lousy land beaver, Devil’s spawn  woodchuck left for us in the storage space out back.

 

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Dirt.

And tunnels.

 

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The little  bastard, rodent of Satan  darling had been busy.

 

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So we spent an hour and a half filling holes and smoothing earth.

I have a feeling this job is going to be the   end of my marriage, reason I drink   gift that keeps on giving.