Tag Archives: amazon

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Not no. But Hell no…

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Have you seen the advertisement for Amazon’s latest toy?

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I don’t know about you, but if my home has gone unmonitored until now, I say leave well enough alone.

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Do I need a robot following me from room to room?

Of course not. That’s what cats are for.

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Is it me.. or does the blink make this robot look like a demented duck with an open beak ?

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A periscope? That might come in handy if my husband is trying to sneak another piece of crap into the house… but still, no.

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Nope.

Lord Dudley Mountcatten would not enjoy that at all.

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Because sometimes you do get what you paid for… and then some.

30 Comments

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Years ago I had a wonderful little purse size green bottle of perfume with a funky top. It was a lightly herbal, somewhat floral refreshing scent. Naturally I couldn’t remember the name of it, but I knew it wasn’t expensive so I went shopping on Amazon just on the off chance I’d see it.

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Green, funky top, inexpensive…needing a new small bottle for my purse, I thought that could be it and ordered one.

I was wrong.

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So very wrong. The stupid thing towers above every other bottle I own and is most definitely not purse sized.

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Here it is next to a bottle of Chanel for scale. I’m sure it’s my fault for not noting the size when I bought it, but damn. Now I’m stuck with what seems like a gallon.

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It’s my blog’s fault.

32 Comments

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After chatting with a blog friend about Amazon recommendations, I decided take a peak at what Jeff Bezos thinks I should buy. And after seeing his choices…. I realized they’re not based on my buying history with the company, but drawn from my crazy and sometimes off color blog topics.

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I can guarantee you I’ve never purchased any squirrel paraphernalia. Unicorn related or otherwise.

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And clearly no good can come from posting about poop.

Does Amazon really want me to buy a turd?

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A massage gun with extra batteries? I don’t even want to know where they got that idea..

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I do post about birds now and then… but damn.

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Things Amazon thinks I need.

18 Comments

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Every once in a while my Facebook feed drops a list of products Amazon thinks I need to purchase. Let’s examine them shall we….

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While I’m a Star Wars fan from way back and can totally see the appeal of droid pressed beverages, I don’t drink coffee… so strike one.

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Blobfish plush toy? It’s ugly, that’s true… but I don’t feel the need to own one, so strike two.

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A window cleaning robot? Now we’re talking!

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A window cleaning robot that has to be plugged in?

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A window cleaning robot that will lose suction and fall off my dirty window? Strike three.

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I’m guessing they intended this highly ruffled fashion faux pas to be worn while the robot cleans my windows, but since that was a bust… I’m calling strike four.

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Amazon always brings it.

19 Comments

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I saw something interesting advertised on Facebook the other day.

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It’s some kind of fruit filled bubble that bursts when dropped in cocktails and I thought hey… that might be fun for the man cave bar. Until I saw they were $25 per plus tax… and $24.95 shipping. Undeterred, I sought them on Amazon.

While I was a bit disappointed they didn’t have the same brand, I was tickled by the imposter bubbles’ name.

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I might have to order them.

I mean really, who could resist?

🤣

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Try it. I dare you…

15 Comments

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If you’ve ever been owned by a cat… and trust me, that’s the correct word placement… you’ll know they are self cleaning and do not require nor tolerate being bathed. Which is why I have to share the utterly ridiculous thing I saw on Amazon yesterday.

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I fear for the tender flesh of the unsuspecting rubes who purchase this kit. Because if you’ve ever wondered how many layers of clothing a feline can tear through? Wrapping your cat in that abomination and spraying him with water will deliver the answer in two seconds flat.

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An adventure? Sure. You can call it that….. as you try in vain to staunch the bleeding.

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Said no cat ever.

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Obediently? Proof positive these people have never met… no less lived with a cat.

The only thing this product listing had right was a question…

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No. But it should…

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That really is unfortunate.

27 Comments

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Remember the misfortune fortune cookies I was going to buy for the man cave bar?

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I posted about them a while back but never went through with the purchase. Which, after tracking them down on Amazon and reading the reviews, turns out was very fortunate indeed.

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Wow. Good thing I wasn’t handing these out to friends. Going home with a doggy bag is one thing, but weirdly green poo? No one wants that.

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Although it seems not everyone shares my adverse opinion of oddly hued feces.

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Yikes. When they said it turns your tongue black, they weren’t kidding.

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Let’s play.

35 Comments

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Admit it, you’ve got nothing else to do.

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As a voracious reader, this is an easy one for me…

Books!

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In our house there are numerous stacks (and bags and crates and shelves and closets and boxes, well you get the idea) filled with books and I have never… not once in my life, ever thought I had enough.

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So how about you?

What can’t you stop buying…

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Because I’m full of random nonsense right now.

14 Comments

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I bought this for the man cave bar, mainly because Amazon is evil and it’s entirely too easy to satisfy impulse shopping cravings.

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It looked like a great idea, but in reality… was a royal pain in the patoot. The inner chamber would never seat properly and every time you painstakingly filled the outer, the water would leak through and pop the inner chamber up like a cork.

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Solution? Weigh down the inner chamber with frozen fruit.

I refuse to be beaten.

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The next time my husband refuses to listen me? That is what I’m going to show him.

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Cheaters chicken and dumplings. Easy, creamy and quite tasty. What’s not to love?

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In case anyone is interested.

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I use a family size rotisserie chicken, low sodium broth and lite salt with half the sodium. It’s still savory.

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For those of us who love our cats?

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This is probably very close to the truth.

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