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This week’s game should be fun.
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Here are a few of mine –
Justin Bieber is playing on an endless loop.
All the floors are wet and you’re only wearing socks.
There’s television, but only one program … The Apprentice.
All the cocktails are alcohol free.
The only book in the library is 50 Shades of Grey.
There’s an all you can eat buffet… but the only thing on it is kale.
How about you?
What’s happening in your version of Heck….
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Last weekend we invited the husband’s 4 sisters who live in Maine to a barbecue/pool tournament/behold the majesty of the Barn Mahal man cave/ party. It was a good time… except for one dastardly deed. You see one of his sisters brought this:
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After I specifically said we were grilling filet mignon… she had the audacity to contribute to the feast.
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A dozen lobsters, fresh from the ocean that morning. Damn her rotten black soul!
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I had to watch those succulent creatures being disbanded…
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Dropped in the pot…. ( Only 2 inches of water please. We steam, not boil )
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Covered with a lid ( And a brick. They tend to buck when dying. Hell, wouldn’t you? )
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Oh, the horror!
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The horror of watching everyone tuck into the delightful crustaceans I can no longer eat.
It was Hell. Pure, unadulterated Hell.
😫😫😫
The only pleasure I took was not being able to find our crackers and picks. Substitutions had to be made.
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Good thing the tool box was close by.
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The husband was schooled at the pool table by two of his sisters, which I thought was fitting punishment for consuming and enjoying lobster in front of his now allergic wife.
But once the party was over, the mess cleaned up and everyone went home… what was almost worse than watching everyone eat them?
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Seeing the two leftover red beauties every time I opened the fridge the next day and knowing I couldn’t make a lobster roll.
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Hell, I tell you.
It was Hell.
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The April issue of my (is this awful gift ever going to end?) Cosmopolitan subscription is here and as usual, it’s filled with things too ridiculous not to share.
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Fashion… or do designers just have twisted senses of humor? Tough call.
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This months quiz was pretty lame. And in case you’re interested…
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This next one made me laugh as well as cringe.
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If that doesn’t make your eyes roll, nothing will.
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I don’t know about you, but I neither have.. nor need… to bathe my crystals.
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Is it any wonder this country is going down the proverbial drain?
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Date ideas seemed like an interesting read and a good way to see how things have changed since I was on the market back in the dark ages of the 80’s.
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Mario Kart can improve your sex life? What am I missing here….
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Wow. I know I’m middle aged, menopausal and not as hip as I once was (the casual use of the word hip proves the veracity of that statement even more than the scrunchie that’s currently holding my hair back) but cutting each other’s toenails on a date? That makes me very glad I’m old, happily married and way off the singles track.
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Bear with me while I bitch.
(I have two weeks worth of scheduled posts in the queue so the bitching will be limited at this time.)
Ever since the husband started teleworking in March, I’ve been doing a lot of blogging on my phone. Which, until the new roll out of the editor from Hell, was fine.
But now that people are being forced to use it, things have changed… at least for me.
My friend from No Facilities, Dan Antion, is always nice enough to include photos of the rabbits he sees on his walks for me. With a backyard family of foxes, bunnies are the one critter we never see at Casa River.
But when I look at his posts now…
This is what I see –
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Text over photos.
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Photos over photos.
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Text over text.
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And photos over text.
Anyway you look at it, it’s a mess.
So if any of WordPress’s inappropriately named ‘Happiness Engineers’ drop by to say hello?
Be sure and tell them I ain’t happy.
But damn.
I hope so too!
When checking out at the grocery store last week I saw these….
Rap Snacks.
I’m sorry, but no one needs Cardi B. flavored potato chips.
The woman wore a coffee filter to the Grammys. Enough said.
Something else no one needs?
This….
I believe I actually said WTF when I first saw it.
Now come on…. if you have that much facial hair to catch?
Skip shaving altogether and put your beard in a pony tail like all fashion forward men do.
I think by now you all know of my lifelong aversion to dolls.
They’re creepy…. and if you don’t want me to spend the night? Put a few of them in the spare bedroom and watch me run.
But this?
This is the stuff of nightmares.
And speaking of that?
I was cruising Atlas Obscura a while back for an interesting day trip and their recommendation gave even me pause.
Yes, you and your significant other can visit the picturesque vistas of Turkmenistan and tour the Gates of Hell.
And if you think I’m kidding?
I’m not.
Admittedly…. as tourist attractions go, it’s a little strange.
But I’d still rather go there than back to Busch Gardens.
River's world..... 