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I saw this on a passing vehicle the other day and I have to admit on first glance my mind went to a bad place…
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And while I’ve never even considered moving to New Mexico?
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A want ad like that could change my mind.
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For all the clueless seafood consumers out there. Always choose the pink scallops.
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And finally… is it me? Or is this hat mannequin I saw at a vintage clothing shop a little too happy?
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Every once in a while I check my email and get a surprise.
Not the good…hear from an old friend, winning lottery ticket… kind of surprise, no.
But something surprising all the same.
Who sent it? I neither know, nor care to find out.
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This guy performed an African elongation ritual and got ridiculous results.
Him and his hot wife went to Kenya a couple of years ago only to discover that native plants gave every local humongous penises.
The Maasai tribe, renowned in the scientific community for their unique 16 inches dongs and their well protected elongation method, gave this dude an extra 3 inches in the first few weeks after.
No wonder Porn stars are being put to shame.
Impressed by the results, he became friends with a few of the elders of the tribe and managed to learn their secrets while performing the ritual a couple extra times, with the same incredible results.
He stopped at 9,2 inches.
Just be responsible with this delicate info.
This ritual has created some monsters since it has been reproduced – around 112,000 to be more precise.
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After reading it, laughing about it and deciding to post it… I searched Google images for an appropriate photo of the aforementioned Maasai tribes people to accompany my blog.
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Does the email content explain why this person is happily jumping for joy?
You be the judge.
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Cats. They’re marvelous creatures who definitely know how to relax.
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And Lord Dudley Mountcatten takes full advantage of his spoiled and pampered life of leisure.
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He’s also the reason all the legs of our coffee table end in scratch marks …
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His fascination with wrapping himself around them is strange.
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But also too damned cute to stop.
❣️
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The husband and I were on our way home from a sad visit with his elderly uncle the other day when he surprised me with the offer to stop at one of my favorite watering holes.
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I say it was a surprise because while I love The Blind Pig and their creative pours, hubby isn’t a fan of their food and never wants to visit.
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Empty.. since it was the middle of the afternoon in the middle of the week, I dove right in.
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First up? A blackberry vanilla martini.
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The speed at which it disappeared literally raised my husband’s eyebrows.
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And while we weren’t there for a meal we did order a few nibbles. Barbecue wings for the husband, which he enjoyed despite his misgivings about the kitchen.
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And a massive plate of what turned out to be fabulously fresh and juicy chicken fingers for moi. I could only get halfway through the plate but they were so good they even made my other half agree he may have to reverse his ban on eating here.
Oh, cocktail #2?
A crisp and delightful pear mojito.
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Corn star.
Lawyers, guns and money.
Even the drink list will make you smile.
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While I could have happily sat there and drank all day, my final libation was a strawberry rhubarb margarita. Tasty, but honestly a bit too sweet for me.
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Pardon their typo at the end. With the quality of cocktails, I’m surprised the typist made it that far without errors.
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If you’re ever in Gardiner, Maine drop by.
You won’t be disappointed.
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Because it’s generally more fun than news you can.
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The future of porn is most definitely not in my living room, but this is a judge free zone. What you do with your holodeck is your own business.
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Bad pig… bad.
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For some reason my Facebook feed thought I needed this. At over $10 an inch? I think I’ll pass.
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I’m guessing the people who install the porn holodeck are the target audience here.
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It’s this kind of quality content that makes you glad you read my blog, no?
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I saw a shirt in Goodwill the other day that made me laugh.
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Strategically placed boobies.
The blue footed kind…
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As someone who reads 3-4 books a week, these statistics completely blew my mind. But oddly enough, they also explain a lot.
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For my black thumbed friends who say they even manage to kill succulents… a beautiful solution.
My thumb is green, but even I’m tempted.
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This is pure gold.
🤣
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Nothing earth shattering here this morning….
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Just a melting snow in the backyard sunrise shot.
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Spring is out there.
Somewhere…
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I love a good festival.
In Maine we have the Lobster festival, the Clam Festival, and the Oyster festival. We have a Blueberry Festival, a Whoopie Pie festival and a Chowder festival. Folk, Reggae and Blues Festivals? Yup. We’ve got those too. Hell… we even have the White Nose Pete Fly Fishing Festival.
For my fishing obsessed readers, the legend of White Nose Pete –
https://midcurrent.com/stories-essays/the-legend-of-white-nose-pete/
Yes, festivals are grand.
Except this one… which makes me glad I don’t live in Dorchester County Maryland.
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Weird, not to mention disturbing.
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I can honestly say I’ve never seen anyone so excited about skinning a muskrat.
And to be honest, I hope I never do.
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Damn.
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Sorry, but that is not my idea of festive.
Oily goat with fish sauce?
Nope. Not for me.
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Good grief.
Whatever happened to baton twirling?
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The day arrived.
Preparations were made.
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And a fond farewell was bid to our loyal 13 year old washer and dryer.
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Our laundry room is small (it used to be a spare half bath) so I was a little worried the delivery men would have a hard time maneuvering the heavy appliances in and out. Lord knows my husband and I did.
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But before I could even blink they had the old ones unhooked and out the door. Granted they didn’t have far to go, but the way they did it with these amazing moving straps that wrap around their backs, over their shoulders and under the machines?
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Fabulous!
And now I totally want a pair.
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Viola!
While the drums are slightly larger than our old set, the machines themselves are actually a bit smaller so …. weee! I have a few extra inches of floor space to play with.
I was a little hesitant to go with the charcoal grey as we’ve always had white, but it looks more like black which blends nicely with our stove and fridge.
Before…
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After.
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These things were literally twice the price of our old ones so my fingers are crossed they have a long sudsy life.
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With many thanks to shinegrace214 who tracked down Lord Dudley Mountcatten’s elusive scratching post… I ordered it and now have one very happy cat.
I swear he knew what it was the minute I brought it in the house because he was positively pawing at the box in anticipation.
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After following these highly technical instructions…
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I brought it in the living room as replacement for the much loved predecessor.
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The second I put it on the floor? His Highness pounced.
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He scratched, he rubbed, he drooled with delight.
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I topped the post with his little blue whale for added entertainment and sheer bliss followed.
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The internet can be a wonderful thing.
Thanks again shinegrace214! You made this little guy’s day.
Week.
Month… etc.
❤️
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River's world..... 