Tag Archives: humor

If a little lobster is a good thing…

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Then the world’s largest lobster roll must be even better.

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The Taste of Maine is a family owned and operated coastal restaurant that’s been a staple for tourists for the past 45 years.

You might recognize it’s giant lobster from my previous posts.

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Yes, it really is that big.

What’s also big is the price tag for that super sized crustacean sandwich.

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You read correctly. $160 for what amounts to two pounds of lobster on a roll.

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No self respecting Maine native would ever order one or pay such a ridiculous price, but a week after they opened for the season they’d already sold quite a few….

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For that price you should get it any damn way you please.

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News you can’t use.

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And even if you could, why would you want to?

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No.

It is most definitely is not.

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What the…

Nope. I refuse to explore that headline any further.

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I’ve ridden with my husband on the Jersey Turnpike. I know we can travel faster.

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To hell with O.J. … that’s a police chase worth watching.

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Yes.

That’s what it is. Not my lazy fat *ss unwilling to get up off the couch. No.

It’s my microbiome.

Yup. That’s it exactly.

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Payback.

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I spent 5 hours following my husband from store to store looking for a new weed whacker last week.

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Don’t believe the people who tell you men hate to shop. When he’s looking for a new toy for himself? My guy will shop until I drop. We hit at least 7 different lawn and garden sections and then went back to the very first place we stopped so he could buy the very first one he saw.

And then?

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The man who owns a giant zero turn tractor and four push mowers… yes, four. Two of them self propelled. … started looking at new push mowers.

For me.

The person who doesn’t want one.

It was at that point I said enough… and made him take me for a nice late lunch.

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A fresh blueberry mojito was a good way to start.

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Every time I see this old tool art installation I want my husband to do something like it in the man cave.

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And every time, he says no.

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To start… it was butternut squash soup for the husband and some fabulous dry rub barbecue shrimp for moi.

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A basil limeade later?

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An amazing Bolognese with fresh pasta and a lamb, beef and pork ragu. It was so good I didn’t even notice what the husband ate.

Well worth 5 hours of tool shopping.

😉

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Let’s play.

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This week’s game should be fun.

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Here are a few of mine –

Justin Bieber is playing on an endless loop.

All the floors are wet and you’re only wearing socks.

There’s television, but only one program … The Apprentice.

All the cocktails are alcohol free.

The only book in the library is 50 Shades of Grey.

There’s an all you can eat buffet… but the only thing on it is kale.

How about you?

What’s happening in your version of Heck….

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Everyone loves the Red Sox.

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We live in Maine, ergo we watch (and love) the Red Sox.

But it seems like we’re not the only species to do so.

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This was the scene at a recent game. And in typical nothing bothers New Englanders fashion, play continued even though a pair of mallard ducks had landed right in the middle of Fenway Park.

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Being Boston fowl, they made themselves at home in the outfield, munching grass and doing what ducks are apt to do.

Poop.

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But hey, the Sox won the game… so no one was complaining.

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News you can’t use.

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Useless, but addicting… no?

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This is the very definition of useless news.

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See? You could have gone all day without knowing that.

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I think the cross makes this outfit. Nothing like piety like a good circumboob.

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If you’re going to lay out a veritable plant buffet, you have to expect random nibblers.

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I, on the other hand… do not.

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Adhesive?

And it sticks to… what?

Hard pass.

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