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So it took a solid week but the husband finally finished cleaning up the den and put everything back in his closet.
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Well, almost everything.
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I’m hoping he just forgot to put those away.
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But the way things are going in this country? I could be wrong.
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* Disclaimer- the husband isn’t a paranoid prepper and this is probably the only ammunition he has. But since he does have a giant live round in the barn window, I thought the placement was comical *
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Now that the bar construction was complete, it was time to outfit it. And while we’re still waiting for the chairs and wall shelves to be completed….. I wanted some shelving inside the bar for glasses and various drinking paraphernalia.
Enter the floating black shelves I found.
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If you’ve never put up floating shelves? I don’t recommend it. They look and sound lovely…. though they’re anything but for the poor schmuck who has to install them.
And I think we all know who my poor schmuck is.
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Two shelves and two hours later, my other half was less than pleased with my choice. He was even less pleased when I told him I would be buying two more.
Moving along…. the mini beverage fridge was slid into place.
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And plugged in.
Although that didn’t go well either.
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Considering the electrical outlet is on the opposite wall. This is something the husband didn’t contemplate when he bought the fridge and though I did…. I kept quiet and let him discover it all on his own.
I’m thoughtful that way.
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( The electrician will be here in two weeks to add outlets. )
And one more thing… while reading the instruction booklet for proper beverage cooling procedure? I had to laugh.
( read marked lines )
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Something tells me this unit was not made in the good ole USA.
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So now that we have a comfortable, heated and (well stocked with beer) man cave, it was time to get down to some serious board game playing. Covid social restrictions make multi player games like Pictionary and Cards Against Humanity a no go, so we searched for something fun to play with two people.
The husband won’t play Trivial Pursuit or Gin Rummy with me anymore because I wipe the floor with him every time. So we tried a game a friend had given us last year as a gift.
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Simple enough, you finish the lines from various categories… music, literature etc.
We played three games and I skunked my other half three times. Even though I gave him music questions from his favorite song.
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So we moved on to a classic, Scrabble.
It wasn’t an easy start and we didn’t have a lot to build from.
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My task was made even more difficult with letters like these.
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And these.
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And then these.
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But after a marathon four and a half hour game?
I won…. and my husband was pickled.
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He already bought the big screen tv.
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And the microwave and the coffee maker.
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He bought the full size refrigerator and is building a bar.
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So is it any surprise he made me go shopping for a mini beverage fridge to put behind that bar the other day?
No. It is not.
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Things got quickly out of hand when he was looking at these….
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At $1,200 per unit.
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But I managed to reign him in and only come home with the one on the left… which, while not a total victory? Was still something to celebrate.
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It was recently brought to my attention that our barn was in need of comfortable seating in which to kick back after a vigorous session of drinking. And to that I say…
I’m way ahead of you.
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Okay, so it’s actually just the porch furniture we store inside every winter… but I’m thinking come spring, when it heads back outside? Two leather club chairs with a small table in between.
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Husband hung a few appropriate signs behind the (soon to be bar) the other day.
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Armpit lemon? Remind me not to over indulge in Puerto Rico.
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A no sewing required spot was found for the husband’s assorted patches.
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And a few more photos were carefully hung… while standing on a safe.
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As you can see, I have arrived … and finally been given representation in the man cave.
Yay me.
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A magnetic bottle opener was installed on the staircase.
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And a recent antique store purchase was displayed.
It’s time for Name That Crap!
What is it?
(Kerry, you be quiet. 😉)
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Remember the tree house our neighbors built?
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The one right at the edge of their property line… even though they own 20 acres down to the water?
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The one I was glad was nestled behind a few trees with leafy camouflage?
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Well, there’s my husband cutting down each and every single branch that provided relief from prying little eyes.
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Not at all helpful.
Not one damn bit.
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And I love him.
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Which is easy to do when he has things like this delivered for my birthday a while back.
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Our local florist does lovely arrangements.
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But it’s a bit of a challenge when every time they ask my husband what colors I like, he tells them green.
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And since green flowers are rather rare, I tend to get a lot of predominantly white bouquets.
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Still pretty, and I’m not complaining.
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But.
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🤣 🤣 🤣
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Since the husband and I usually travel for Christmas, I haven’t done decorations for years. Wreaths in the windows, a few snowflake lights on the barn and a Charlie Brown tree on the table was as much enthusiasm as I could muster this season.
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And when you’ve been married as long as we have (37 years in a few weeks) presents aren’t a big deal either. We’re lucky enough to buy what we want, when we want (and he still doesn’t know my taste in jewelry) so we took a pass on that as well.
There is however one gift that keeps on giving.
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Yes, after a prolonged absence in which I continually prayed for her earthly demise…
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She was back on Christmas Eve. Looking for a way into the house.
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And taunting me…
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The little bitch.
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So if she comes down the chimney wearing a Santa hat today? I won’t be held responsible.
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No. It most definitely is not…
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For those friends who like to play in the dirt?
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Pencils. They’re not just for chewing anymore…
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I thought this next one was cute.
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But realized I might be attacked by that hungry red squirrel bitch and had to pass.
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Yoga dice?
How am I supposed to play craps if a winning roll is downward facing dog.
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I see the appeal here.
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We’re building a barn bar and the husband has been known to tick me off.
Hmmm..
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Because an internal kind message will take the sting out of an F Bomb gift.
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And finally there’s jewelry.
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Because no woman can resist a man who gives her turd themed bling.
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After hanging a seasonly appropriate wreath on the Barn Mahal’s door, I wandered inside.
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Which is where I found my husband knee deep in nostalgia and flipping through his high school yearbook.
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First we smiled at the graduation photo.
The hair. The prominent ears. The innocence of youth.
But then…
Then he showed me something I will never be able to erase from my memory.
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My husband… was a … gymnast?
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And not just any gymnast. No.
He was a covered from head to toe in silver paint gymnast.
What. The….
What????
He can’t remember exactly why they struck that pose…. But that’s him, crouching on the lower right.
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And I’m afraid the image is burned onto my retinas and into my frontal lobe.
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River's world..... 